[NATALIE]
We all sit around a huge mustard yellow table where we know dins dins will arrive.
Jibbles still is unaware of her new marriage. But Mr Stilinski looks beyond happy and why ruin that shit you know ?
Jibbles is now muttering to herself about a toilet?
Oh yes! The toilet! She is regretting the fact that she could've prevented her explosive bottom but getting a toilet installed into her wedding dress.
I can see her happy expression start to fade as she dwells more on the subject.
"I'll be back soon babe," I say to Dylan getting up from my seat and running inside the mansion were I know the dressmakers will be.
I bust open the door to the dressing room to see one of the dressmakers already on the toilet that is on wheels. Well she's more in the toilet.
"What are you doing?!" I exclaim to her looking at the only thing that could possibly make my friend happy.
"I'm stuck" she croaks with wide eyes.
"Oh fuuuccck uuuup!" I say before realising she is a a posh British lady that probably doesn't take swearing seriously.
"Excuse me!" She screams she face going red and almost look like its going to burst. Right. In. That. Toilet.
"Uhh-I-no I said Faaar Cuuup!" I correct myself. I clear my throat awkwardly before addressing the situation; "Well I actually need that toilet, so you need to get out."
"I can't I'm stuck you stupid cow!" I give her a disgusted look. She just called me a cow? What kind of fucking insult is that?
"And, I'm like a plug. You don't want to know what's underneath me." She says. My eyes widen in horror staring her directly into her honest orbs.
"Okay well I will go find some butter." I say dropping the expression suddenly and walking out of the room.
I follow my strong nose senses as I make my way to the kitchen.
Several fat men with dark facial hair all snap their heads in unison towards me.
"GWET AUOT!" They all scream in Italian accents.
"Fuck off." I say shoving pass them to the fridge.
"EXCUSÉE MWA?" They all say eyebrows raising so far it looks as if they could fly away.
"Uh-I said Far Cough." I say covering up my cursing again before proceeding to fake cough.
"NUOT ON ZE FOOD STUPID GYRL!" They all yell.
And with that I've had enough. I grab the huge block of butter out of the fridge and run all the way back up to the stuck British lady.
"Oh thank god!" She breathes sweat dripping from her forehead.
I grab the butter and start to run it around the edge of the toilet. And slowly but surely the fat British lady slips out of the toilet on wheels.
However she is not the only thing that slips out. The biggest stench I have ever experienced flows and begins the swarm the room.
"Oh thanks for that lovely." She says stepping out of the toilet, brown liquid covering her legs which drips as she walks out of the room and down the hall.
I look down on the toilet to see a huge pool of poo bubbling and steaming away. Different shades of brown swirl together.
At first I'm disgusted as I never seen such a thing to such a certain extent. But then I realise how much it will mean to Jibbles.
I push the toilet out of the room before realising my greatest challenge to come. The stairs. And with no thinking towards I push the toilet down the stairs. I stand from the top watching it fall and spill the brown liquid/solid poo everywhere, staining the white cashmere carpet.
I see a perfect opportunity coming. I run to a nearby cupboard and pull out a snowboard that I knew would work perfectly against the stinky substance.
I strap it on. I'm usually quite good with strapping things on so I'm able to do this within seconds.
I slide down the stairs spraying shit up the walls and ceiling as I turn and skid along my newly found 'snow'.
I reach the bottom seeing the toilet standing perfectly upright. It's a little dirty but the more the merrier. I proceed to roll the toilet out to the beautiful mustard table and carefully slip it under Jibbles wedding dress and bum.
I see her looking at me in sincere, tears of joy flowing her eyes.
"Thank you," she whispers to me.
I give her a wink and go sit back down next to Dylan.
"Mm you smell so good." He says sitting more close to me.
"Thanks babe," I say in surprise.
The food that shows is absolutely beautiful and I really cannot wait to demolish it all.
