So What? (A Conor Maynard Fan/Pop Fiction)

Chapter 21 - Last Thoughts

A/N: Sorry for upsetting you all last chapter! It's all relevant to the story, i dont wish to put you through it! This is a smaller chapter, just to get Louise's feelings! Dedicated to @ambermaynard for her constant support with my stories so thank you so so much! As always guys, enjoy reading, if i get a good load of reads or votes or comments i may even post another chapter tonight!! :D Love you all so much xxxxxxxxxx

Louise’s POV

The gossip spread like wildfire, yet I was one of the last to know. I know me and him weren’t on the best of terms but to hear something everyone else knew already… That was a kick to the shins. I was at home, sitting in my room, school had finished for a half day today, so I was back home by 12.30. I sat reminiscing the moments Conor had caught me and David in the cafeteria and how he had reacted. He had reacted badly but was that a good thing? Was that showing he had feelings for me or that he just hated David that much? I was brought out of my thoughts by the doorbell ringing erratically. I ran down stairs questioning who it could have been. I wasn’t expecting anyone and my mum and sister were out. I opened the door and was greeted with a sight I’ll never forget – not now I know who it is.

“What did you do to him?” This man I had never seen before questioned me angrily. His eyes were red and puffy, he had been crying. He was still crying. He looked slightly like Conor, his eyes looked like Conor’s eyes.

“Sorry?” I asked, confused.

“Conor. What did you do to him?” He sobbed to me. My heart was breaking despite me not knowing who he was or what he was on about.

“Sorry, who are you? What’s happened to Conor?” I had no idea. I wish I still didn’t have any idea…

“You hurt Conor!” He cried again. He was attracting a lot of attention from the passers-by in the street. It was embarrassing!

“I didn’t hurt Conor!” I said, but soon after I thought I probably did hurt him; being seen with David and all.

“You hurt Conor!” He shoved me backwards. “You hurt my brother!” I stopped dead. I couldn’t move. THIS was Jack? I felt my heart breaking slowly and painfully. This was the guy Conor had spent his life protecting from Josh – This innocent boy… He stood there, his clothes hanging off of his small frame, his face red and puffy from crying. How could anyone do anything but love this guy? He had to be a little younger than me – a couple of years maybe – but here he stood at MY house saying I’d hurt Conor. Did Conor tell him about this morning?

“J-Jack?” I said stupidly. Unless Conor had another brother he’d never mentioned of course this was going to be him. The one Josh said such awful things about… The one Conor cares so dearly about. “How did you know where I lived?” He looked down at the floor.

“I’ve knocked on every house and asked. He spoke about Louise from school.” He looked up at me, his eyes showing such a dark past. “You’re Louise from school.”

“Y-Yes… I am Louise from school.” I confirmed. “Jack, you shouldn’t be running around like that! Do your parents know you’re here?” I looked at him more intently. He wasn’t wearing any shoes. My heart screamed out to hug him and say everything was alright, that me and Conor were fine and he wasn’t hurt… But how wrong I was going to be.

“JACK!” I heard from down the road. I poked my head out of the door and saw a woman running down the road. “Jack! Thank God!” She shouted as she got to my house. “Jack, what are you doing out of the house?” I looked at her; she also looked like she’d been crying. Maybe they’d had an argument, but he’d ended up coming to me. “You know you’re not allowed to leave the house without me or your father!” She continued to shout at him. Soon after she stopped, she looked me up and down. “Who’s this?”

“I’m-” I began but Jack got there first.

“That’s Louise from school.” That soft face the mother had screwed up into an angered look and she shot me daggers. She walked up to me and slapped me in the face.

“Do you have any idea what you have done to this family?!” She screamed at me, the tears falling freely along her chubby face. I held my face, which felt like it was throbbing.

“What is wrong with you guys?” I shouted. “Why are you all coming over here? What did I do?” I looked at both of them, who suddenly realised I generally had no idea what they were talking about.

“You mean you don’t know?” Conor’s mum’s voice had softened. “Oh, hunny, I’m so sorry!” She pulled me in for a hug; one of those ones where you feel like you’re being suffocated by the huge chest of someone’s mother - Where you’re kind of grossed out but happy you’re receiving a hug.

“What don’t I know?” I pulled out of the hug. “What’s wrong?” She gave that look to Jack. That ‘I’m going to have to deliver the bad news, aren’t I?’ look. The look that made me feel the world was closing in on me. My mind couldn’t stop. What had happened to Conor? It had to be about him. They wouldn’t be here for any other reason. What has happened? What did I do? Did I cause him to run away? Did I put him in a bad mood and he shouted at everyone? Did I-

“Conor’s in hospital. He was in an accident.” My heart stopped. A lump in my throat appeared out of nowhere and grew to what felt like the size of a tennis ball. I held my breath.

“What?” I said. I wanted to check I’d heard her right and she had just said that. I didn’t want to know, but at the same time I needed to know.

“Conor’s in hospital. He was in an accident…” Tears ran down both her and Jack’s faces and I soon couldn’t control mine either. I didn’t even realise I was crying until I was pulled in for one of those ‘sympathetic’ hugs.

“That’s not possible… I saw him this morning!” I sobbed into his mum’s arms. But then it hit me. After David had said he was the worst influence on me, Conor had run out and got on his bike… “When? When was the accident?” I questioned sharply.

“Around 9 o’ clock this morning…” I felt sick. My legs felt weak. My knees weren’t able to hold up the weight of me and the guilt that was on my shoulders and I collapsed onto the floor. I just sat on the doorstep and sobbed. “Would you like to visit him?”

“He doesn’t deserve any more shit from me…” I said through the sobs. “This is all my fault!”

“What happened? Please, just tell me what was going through his mind…” His mum begged me. How could I tell her the truth? How could I say to her that her son’s last thoughts before this accident were most likely some sort of hatred for me and David and what David had said. I began to hate him. If he hadn’t of said that, Conor wouldn’t have got on that bike.

“He’d had an argument with my boyfriend…” I hated saying boyfriend. Idiot was more appropriate. ‘An idiot’.

“Your boyfriend?” She confirmed. “Oh God. He was riding angrily… My poor baby… His last thoughts were angry thoughts!” She sobbed.

“Last thoughts?” I questioned. Please to God tell me he’s not dead… Please God…