I Know It's Hurting You, But It's Killing Me (A7X Fan Fiction)

Chapter Twenty One: No

This chapter is shorter than I'd like it to be, but where I stopped seemed to be an appropriate place to stop at.

            After Rory and Jimmy left, it was just Brian and I at the studio. And we were just fooling around with some of the equipment when he suddenly stopped.

            “Everything alright, Bri?” I asked, setting the guitar I was attempting to play safely on the ground.

            “We need to talk,” he said, remaining straight-faced and his voice void of emotions.

            “About what?” I questioned although I had a feeling that I already knew, and it wasn’t something I particularly wanted to talk about right now, but it’s now or never. Right?

            He spun around in his chair so that he wasn’t facing me before sighing. “Please tell me what exactly Zackary was talking about last night.

            “I know Zack already told you everything when you took him home,” I said, hoping he would drop the subject.

            “I want to hear your side of the story.” But of course my luck isn’t that good.

            “JohnnyandIhadacakefightthatnightandthenhetookmebacktohishouseandweslepttogetherandthenextthingIknewIwokeupinhisbed.” I said in one breath, and then buried my face in my hands. (I won’t torture you and make you read that jumbled mess: Johnny and I had a cake fight that night and then he took me back to his house and we slept together and the next thing I knew I woke up in his bed.)

            Brian didn’t say a word afterwards and it was making my extremely nervous. I think I would rather have him yelling at my than saying nothing at all.

            “Just say something, Brian!” I cried, wanting, but also not wanting to know what was going through his mind.

            “Say what?! What exactly do you want me to say?” He said, raising his voice with each word, his back still towards me. “Great! I’m fucking happy for you. Your first rockstar was Johnny fucking Christ. But what about me? Did you even consider the fact that I might like you? Did you even think about what this would do to me? Do you even care about any of us?” He almost whispered the last part.

            “Brian, if you think I did this just to have sex with a rockstar, you don’t know me that well. I didn’t mean to. I was drunk; I had to control over my actions. I thought maybe you’d understand that. And I thought Brian Haner was kind, caring, and understanding, but it seems I was wrong. He’s just a prick and an asshole. Just like my idiot brother,” I retorted. Then I stood up, and started storming out of the room.

            Brain jumped out of his chair and grabbed ahold of my upper arm, preventing me from leaving. “I just told you I fucking like you, and you completely ignored it! And last night Zacky said that I loved you, and you ignored that too. You’re too caught up in having sex with Johnny. Just let it go!” He yelled, his voice booming through the recording room. “Look, I’m not mad at you for doing it. It happens, and you’re an adult, you have the right to do whatever with whoever whenever. And I realize that even though I think I love you, we aren’t dating so it’s not my place to say you can’t sleep with other men, but what is pissing me off is that you can’t just let it go!”

            His words stung; He was bringing tears to my eyes. And I watched as he grabbed his pack of Marlboros and walked out of the room.

            Sinking down to the floor, I rested my head on my knees and started crying. Brian was right; I was letting this get to me too much. I just need to forget about it. Everyone else did… except for Zacky. But I am letting one little incident practically ruin my life.

            Getting up off the floor and dusting myself off, I slowly walked outside. I saw Brian leaning against the wall, smoking a cigarette. I knew it couldn’t have been his first, considering how long he’d been out here.

            I studied him from the doorway, closely observing how he closed his eyes when he titled his head up and blew smoke from his lips. I couldn’t help but wish I were kissing those soft lips.

            “See something you like?” I heard him ask, scaring me since I hadn’t realized he’d opened his eyes.

            “Actually, yeah. I do.” I smiled, walking up to him so that he was trapped in between the wall and me. “So about earlier…” I said, trailing off, absently mindedly tracing one the monsters on his arm that was poking out from his sleeve.

            In that moment, he dropped his cigarette on the ground and quickly stepped on it, putting it out. Then he leaned down and kissed me, the smoke a strong taste in my mouth, but a kiss from Brian wouldn’t be the same if he didn’t taste like cigarettes.

            He spun me around so my back was now against the cool brick wall of the studio building and continued to kiss me, lightly nipping at my bottom lip.

            I whimpered when he pulled away, wanting nothing more than for him to continue.

            “Lyric, we’ve only know each other for about a week, but I feel like in that week, we’ve been through more than most people go through in a month. And since the first time you walked through my front door, I knew there was something special about you. I know despite how much shit we’ve been through, a week is still a short span of time, so I understand if you say no, but I want you to be my girlfriend.”

            “No.”

This wasn't the ending i had originally planned, but Lyric promised me that she has her reasons... but I am kinda mad at her for saying no :P