Her Red Lips (Kaylor fanfic)

Chapter 4

"What is that news you got about Taylor? "I asked Cara impatiently. I was bouncing my leg up and down under the table as we sat at a fast-food court. Cara was telling me the entire morning that she had some important news about the senior.

I have crush on Taylor and it is more and more bigger. I looked up her facebook profile only to look at her profile pic as I didn't want to be that creepy person who scrolls down a person's entire facebook wall. I know it is a big crush but I'm not completely sure if it is true love but I just told Cara that it was love so that she would listen to me but I think it was a bad idea now as she is investigating about and practically stalking Taylor.

Ugh... What is this news?? Why couldn't she just tell me this before the classes began?

"I heard that Taylor has started drinking and that it was because of Harry cheating on her, she truly loves him I guess, but you could try darling..." Cara explained the news. The worried look she wore when she began her blabbering turned into an encouraging smile at the end.

Damn! I have no chance to get Taylor, exactly like Toni... She is so straight and still loves this guy who cheated on her...

"Forget it Cara! I should just leave her alone. It seems as though she is truly head over heels over this guy and I wouldn't stand a chance," I reasoned before sighing. I instantly felt my self-esteem go down very low.

"I suddenly have this feeling of not knowing you. Are you really my best friend? The risk-taking, adventurous and wild Karlie Kloss? Well, you don't seem to be..." Cara's words motivated me, just a bit.

Yeah, she is right! Why can't I do this? Why can't I fight a guy to win over a girl? Is It that impossible? It is not, unless... that girl is straight. I am pretty sure I could not even be her friend. Ugh... I am an eternal pessimist...

I didn't say a word. I didn't know what to say.

"So... You do whatever you want to do! I don't give a shit! I have to go now! So, bye." Cara angrily said before grabbing her burger and walking off. I sat on my chair motionless. I sat there staring at my salad.

I'm so pathetic... My life is just a mess.. I don't study, this affair with Behati, I can't get Taylor off of my mind, and I can't stop my drinking and smoking...

---------------------

I laid down on the green grass staring up at the stars. I wondered how far the stars were from the earth. I felt like such a nerd. I was drunk and I had a packet of cigars and a lighter laying right next to me. I felt like the whole world was just giving up on me. I sat up and opened up the packet and took out one roll of the cancerous tobacco. I threw the packet onto the grass and took the lighter. I placed the roll between my lips before lighting it up. I smoked on it for a while. Whenever the thoughts of my dad came up my heart broke a little bit more. After a while my fragile heart just broke into a million pieces when a thought broke out into my mind.

What if my dad left because of me? What if I am the reason mom and dad are not together today? After all my dad didn't leave our family when my sister was born.. He left when I turned two...

I heard some voices coming from my mind. They were screaming at me, 'It was all your fault! You are such a bitch! You are not worth anything!'

I felt hot tears stream down my cheeks. Soon I could taste my tears, they were salty, and filled with disappointment with myself, regret and loneliness. I was practically deaf and blind as I could only hear my own sobs and could only see my tears through my eyes. The cigar had long ago slipped out of my hands and my hands were now supporting my heavy and dizzy head. Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder. The person sat down next to me and brought me closer to them. The person's hand stroked my hair.