kellin quinns other daughter || mike fuentes

You and Me

Chapter 23 || You and Me

Later on that night, Kellin went to his hotel with Gabe and Nick. Tony and Jaime left back to their house and Mike, Vic, and I went back to the house. Most of the ride, I was thinking about Mike. I thought about why he told me he broke up with Esmeralda, why did he want to me know? I don't think it was because he wanted me to feel guilty.

I found my thoughts wondering deep into the part of my head that was dedicated to Mike. How would it feel if he loved me like I loved him? That was the question I wanted to find an answer to. I wanted to know how it would feel to hold hands with him, to kiss him, to call him my boyfriend. Though, a part of me knows, Kellin would never agree to it.

I didn't care what anyone thought. I just wanted Mike to love me. The thought of me loving him was so absurd. Just two months ago, I swore up and down I was a lesbian, now I'm confessing my love in my mind, for a 30 year old man, who may or may not care about me. Funny how these things work. The way that I am so obsessed with this man, was unhealthy.

I suddenly realized how it felt, to all the fans. To know the love of your life is on stage, but he doesn't know you exist. To you, their everything, but to them, you're the fans they adore, but not in the way you want them to. Thats what I was to Mike, another part of the "family". I hated it too.

I hopped out of the car, lost in my thoughts. I didn't even realize the door was locked, so I kinda walked right into it. I know right, fucking genius of the year! Right here! Vic silently laughed at me and I laughed at me too. God I'm an idiot. But for once I didn't care. I found it funny I walked into a door. I wasn't about to cry. I was, happy. I finally knew how it felt to say I was happy. It felt great.

I walked inside. I didn't say anything after Vic opened the door for me, I wanered to my room. I sat on my bed and I looked at the top drawer of my dresser. I opened it up, and lifted out the bag that held the dark secrets I had. I took all my razors in my left hand and carried them to the toilet. I took and deep breath and closed my eyes and I dropped them into the toilet before I could stop myself. I didn't need them. I was gonna work on getting better. One step at a time. I flushed them, all of them. I had no more. I saw my cigarettes still sitting in the bag. Its been weeks since I've had one. I knew the battle against fighting my urges was gonna be long and hard, but I was gonna do it. I kept the cigarettes for the days, I really needed one. Today wasn't one of those days.

I heard a knock on my door and I closed my drawer, making sure everything was the back the way I had it. I opened my door, to Mike standing there. He had his hands behind his back. He smiled at me.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Azlynn. I know I have the worst timing with these things, but would you like to go with me to dinner tomorrow? Me and the guys are going out and.. I wanted you to go with me" he says nervously. It was cute. The way he got all flustered up was cute. I smiled widely.

"I would love to, Michael" I said. He took his hands out from behind his back, he handed me a large, fuzzy, dark brown, Teddy bear. I was shocked. What made him want to do this for me? This just had to be him feeling sorry for me. I took the bear from him and hugged him. He hugged me back, tightly. Like he didn't want to let go. I didn't. All I knew was that we stayed that way, for awhile. I didn't mind, at all.

He finally let go of me. He let me lay down and go to bed. I crawled in my bed, cuddled up to the bear Mike gave me. It smelled like him. I just kept imagining it was him. I tossed and turned through the night, but woke up the next morning, at 1:00pm. I was always a late sleeper. I realized I had the dinner party tonight, so I jumped up and got in the shower. I felt like getting up too. I actually felt like I wanted to do something!