In Our Hearts

six > a decision

After sorting things out between me and Maya, we hadn't talk since - all three of us. But that didn't mean anything right? We were good at that time.

It was Saturday and in thirty minutes, it was oficially going to be a new year. The moon was camouflaged with clouds. There were small thunders and then I immediately knew - it was about to rain.

Maya and I met up and were ready for Lucas to choose. Maya looked uneasy and acted weirdly since she knew my secret but I thought that this was all kind of new to her even if it wasn't.

All of my classmates and some of my friends which were not from my class were here, chattering, laughing. Farkle was there, Isadora was there, Yogi, Charlie, Sarah and everybody else.

"You what?" Lucas was surprised after hearing my confession. He frowned sadly.

Maya held my hand as a sign of telling me that it was okay and everything was going to be fine but honestly, I couldn't see how things could get better at the moment.

"Yeah. I do." My other hand held Maya's arm. It was a habit of mine to calm me down. I looked down to my shoes and most of my hair covered my face which was filled with embarassment.

I could feel Maya's hand got sweatier. I wasn't sure that it was because of the damp air or was she nervous. I know that she is my best friend but I couldn't make out what she felt that time now that I've got a lot in mind.

Who is Lucas going to pick? Whoever it is, is it going to affect me and Maya's friendship? Will everything be okay after this? Will things get awkward between the three of us?

"Lucas. Listen to me." I let go of Maya's hand and held both of his. "Can you please do us a favour?" My voice sounded like I was sick for a whole day and didn't talk but just then.

"Yeah." Lucas nodded, still confused after what I just said. His disorganised look even made it all more difficult.

I let go of his hands and took a step back, returning to Maya's grasp. "We want you to choose between us," I paused. "-before moving ahead to a new year."

I could feel Maya's hard grip. It was painful but somehow I could sense fear in her. I could sense panic, stress, anxiety - all in one moment.

Lucas was stuterring but I didn't blame him. We should've given him some time but New Years is coming and I didn't want to start 2017 with an unsettled problem.

The thunder sounds were grumbling, growing louder with each nervous heartbeat. The moon was now can't be seen but the dark area was lit up by my mother's light decorations.

Maya let go of my hand and took a step back. "You know what Lucas, I," she suddenly spoke. "I- you deserve Riley-"

What was she doing? She was stepping back again from Lucas when she told me it was a mistake. How could she possibly do that after giving me this inspirational talk and convinced me to never lie about something like that ever again?

"Maya." I stepped nearer to her and she stepped back from me. "Maya, what are you doing?" I whispered, didn't want everyone to hear.

"No, Riley. I really think he deserves you more." With that she walked out, downstairs. I knew she was heading home. I couldn't let that happen. I needed to talk to her. I had a lot of questions in my mind.

I left Lucas without explaining anything and chased after Maya. I couldn't let her get away that easily. "After all that, this happens?" I whispered under my breath.

I got off the building and saw Maya walking now. She wasn't running anymore. She was waiting for the traffic light for the cars to turn red and then she could cross the road.

Her back was facing me and her soft hair were blewn by the weak breeze. She was standing still, looking down. I knew what she was doing. She was crying.

"Maya!" I yelled from the entrance door of the building.

Maya looked at me with a frown. Strands of her hair were stuck to her wet cheeks. She was smiling sadly like she was this mother who just found her missing child. And in this situation, I was the missing child.

"Riley. Just go back-"

"No!" I snapped back at her. I won't let her say something like that again. She kept quiet and waited for me to say somethinf with her teary eyes.

"Maya, how could you do this to me? We both swore to never step back-"

"I didn't step back Riley."

What? What did she mean by that?

"What do you me-"

"Lucas likes you." Maya looked at me after staring at the dirty cement ground.

"What? How did you know if that's true?" The truth is, I didn't know what to say. It didn't maks sense. Lucas couldn't have liked me. He had more moments with Maya than with me just like I had more moments with Farkle than-

I pushed that thought deep to the back of my head.

"He told me, Riley." My eyes widened and I could feel my breathing going out of control but not in a critical way. "He confessed to me after I knew your secret. He told me that he still had feelings for you. He asked me what to do and I.." she trailed off. And I knew why she trailed off. She must've done something after that.

"And you what Maya?" I wasn't angry. I was afraid. Afraid of what she did. Afraid of what Lucas would think. Afraid of what would happen to our friendship.

"And I told him to ask you out." She looked me in the eyes.

I couldn't believe she said that. For me. But it wasn't fair for her.

And by then, it was raining drizzly. After that it was pouring. Of course. I should've seen that coming.

"Maya, how could you say that?" I squeaked. It was a cold night and my jacket was starting to get soaked and Maya's too.

"Oh Riley, you would've done the same for me either." Maya was mad. But I couldn't blame her. Ther was no denying to what she just said.

The traffic light turned green for a long time. She knew it but she still didn't leave and I appreciated that.

Then I could hear murmuring behind me. Great now everyone's here. But I couldn't care less. I've got bigger things to deal with.

"Maya, please let's work this out-"

"Riley! Can't you see why I didn't let Lucas answer? I didn't want to hear it from him, Riley. It's better if I step back then getting rejected." She frowned hard.

"Maya. Lucas likes both of us, not just me." I pointed out the truth. She must've forgotten.

"No, Riley. If he likes both of us, he wouldn't ask me what to do when he confessed his love for you." We both cried in the heavy rain. Our clothes were soaked, our hair were wet and my boots were filled with water. But still, I didn't move. I wanted to be there for my friend.

"But Maya, we don't know for sure, just come back with me to the rooftop. Let's celebrate New Years Maya. Let's just pretend this never happened." I knew it was a wrong thing to do but it would be worse if I lose Maya. I'd rather not meet Lucas than losing Maya forever.

"Riley, we can't ignore this. This is how it should be. You end up with Lucas and I stay alone forever. It's fate Riley. It's how life put a test on you. All this is one big test and I failed, you passed." She was begging and sobbing loudly. Everyone didn't say anything. Everyone didn't try to stop us.

"Maya, don't say that!"

Maya laughed for a second before saying, "now I know why my father left me. I was meant to be alone." She looked at me for the last time before saying, "I'm going home Riley."

She turned back and didn't even look at the traffic light. It was green.