Closer || (n.j.)

Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine--
"Yup, there she is." The Doctor tells me soothingly, smiling as she looks at the monitor that shows my baby.

"Wow...." I say, thinking that this is so unbelievable. Nick left early this morning and we 'made up' I guess. Let's just say that he didn't go away being mad at me, and no we did not have sex. We just talked it out a little, except I still didn't tell him about the whole pregnancy thing. I couldn't bring myself to do it, at all. I was too scared.

"Yup. You're about a week along. Have you told the father yet?" She smiled at me and wiped the gel from my stomach with a paper towel. I sat up on the chair and answered here, swallowing hard.

"I actually...uh....just found out today." I admit, wringing out my hands.

"Oh. Well, congratulations. I'm sure he'll be very happy. I'll see you back here in two weeks? Correct?" She changes the subject and looks at her clipboard.

"Uh....yes ma'm. That's correct." I reply with a murmured tone.

"Alright then. You have a good day now sweetheart." She smiled once more before leaving me to my thoughts. There were tears in my throat just begging to burst out. But I couldn't, not here. I mean, I was dating Nick Jonas, so this would be all over the news if the paparazzi caught it. Luckily, I had come in all black and put my hair up behind my hood and put on sunglasses to disguise myself. This usually worked, Nick taught me it. I walked out of the Doctor's office with my head down, and got in the Expedition, letting the tears fall full force. I sat in that parking lot for a good twenty minutes, letting myself cry. I didn't know what else to do. Nick had told me before that he wasn't ready for a child yet, but he did want one someday. I was scared at what his reaction would be. Would we give her up for adoption? I would not have an abortion, that was for sure. And I'm sure Nick wouldn't want that either.

I was pregnant at 20 years old, who would've thought? Sure, I wanted kids, but not now. I was still young. I wanted to experience more in life before I had the responsibility of a child to look after. Eventually, I somewhat pulled myself together and started the car up, driving home in silence. When I got home, Elvis greeted me at the door.

"Hey sweetie." I smiled as he pushed himself up against me happily. I put my keys on the counter and headed up the stairs, the dog following behind. I flopped on the bed and Elvis jumped up next to me, laying down. I pet him for awhile before we both fell asleep for a few hours.

When I woke up, Elvis was at my bedroom door, whining. I got up and went with him downstairs to let him out. I yawned as I watched him through the glass patio door. Nick had texted me earlier and told me that he would be home early tomorrow morning. I was excited, but mostly scared. My stomach was in knots. Or maybe that was just the baby kicking, I wasn't sure. I had no mother to teach me or guide me in any of this. So I was on my own for the most part.

Elvis came inside and that was when I decided I wanted to order myself some Chinese. There was a Chinese place not far from here and I knew that they would deliver here. I picked up my phone and dialed the number, ordering my food. While I waited for my food, Elvis and I laid on the couch and watched movies. I started out by watching Chick Flicks, then moved on to animated Disney movies. My favorite animated Disney movie was Tangled, so I watched it about two times before my food finally came.

"Thank you very much." I smiled as I paid the delivery boy and he handed me my food. He politely nodded and then rushed to his car. I sat down with my dinner in the living room, Elvis sniffing at it every once in a while. When I was done eating, I had to rush to the bathroom. The baby didn't like that, so she made me throw it all up.

"Thank you very much." I sarcastically said. I trudged into the living room to pick up my dishes and what not, turning off the tv and DVD player. Elvis followed me everywhere I went and I let him outside one more time before I went to bed for the night.

"Time for bed." I cooed to the dog as we made our way to my bedroom. He looked at me as though something was missing.

"Daddy will be home tomorrow." I said to him, kissing his head and walking to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I ran a hand through my greasy hair and just chose to shower in the morning. I shuffled into the bedroom and laid in the bed, Elvis next to me. I put my arm around him and put my face in his soft fur, falling asleep to his slow breathing.

I woke to feeling someone embracing me. I jolted awake, my eyes wide. I turned my neck to see Nick sleeping peacefully next to me. I let out a breath of relief, but also panic. I was not ready to face him yet. I slipped out of his grasp cautiously and made my way to the bathroom to shower and get refreshed. I hopped under the warm water and let it relax my whole body. When I was done, I dried myself off and got ready for the day. I wasn't sure if we were doing anything, but I got ready just like any other day. I walked out of the bathroom to still see my boyfriend sleeping, our dog in his own bed on the floor.

"Hey buddy." I whisper to Elvis, crouching down for him to come to me. He does and I pet him, hoping that Nick won't wake up for some time. When I hear him stir, my smile fades.

"Morning beautiful." His voice is deep.

"Morning." I murmur, standing up. Elvis jumps up on the bed and starts licking Nick's face. He lays on top of him, a smile on both of their faces.

"You look sad. Everything okay? I know that we weren't on the greatest terms when I left..." He trails off, looking to me. I had just realized I started to cry. I bit my lip to try and stop them, but they kept coming. I kept trying to wipe them away, but they just kept being replaced by more.

"Baby. What's wrong?" Nick just looks at me, and I know that he hates to see me cry. But I couldn't help it. Elvis gets off of him and my boyfriend walks over to me, wrapping his arms around me. My own arms are at my chest, and I wrap them around him as he pulls me in.

"I....I....." I couldn't get it out. I just couldn't. All I could think is that he would be upset at me and leave me alone. To raise the baby all by myself.

"What is it Mar? You can tell me." He soothes in my ear, kissing my hair.

"I'm....I'm....oh God, I can't do this." I collapse to the floor, my face in my hands as tears stream down my face.

"Can't do what? What's wrong? You've got to tell me." He insists.

"I'm pregnant Nick! There!" I get up and storm out of the room, suddenly feeling anger come over me. I stomp down the steps and go sit in the kitchen, putting me head on the counter.

"Why?" That's all I whisper before I break down once again. This wasn't the way I was planning for my life to go. But sometimes these things aren't planned. I hear footsteps, but don't look up. I feel arms around me and I lean into them, crying harder.

"It's okay. Sshhhh. We can get through this together baby. Okay?" Nick's familiar voice whispers in my ear softly. I feel some of that panic leave me, but I still feel sadness. Also confusion.

"When did you know?" Nick asks me once I finally look up at him. He sits in a chair next to me, putting his arm around me and pulling our chairs closer together.

"I went to the Doctor yesterday. That's why I didn't come with you." I admit.

"You lied to me?" His voice is starting to rise.

"I didn't-"

"Yes you did. You flat out lied, never told me anything! Wow!" He shakes his head and gets up from the chair, pushing it back so it falls to ground with a hard thud. Elvis barks as Nick walks out of the house and slams the door. Tears flood in my eyes again, each one of them hitting the counter after the other. I knew this would happen. I picked up the chair from the floor and set it back up by the counter before making myself something to eat. I was dying of hunger. I tried to disappear  from this whole mess, but I could only do it for a few seconds before I realized that it wasn't going away. The only thing I felt was numb. I kept thinking that Nick hated me, that he wasn't ready to be a father, that he was going to leave me, and tell me to get out of his life. Forever.