Closer || (n.j.)

Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight--
Today was the day that Nick was shooting the music video for his new single, 'Close'. The song featured Tove Lo, and I had actually never seen him act or do anything like that in person. So this was going to be fun. I was sitting behind all the cameras and all of that, when Nick came out in a whole new outfit. Tove was already sitting in her assigned chair that was on the set of the music video. Nick's hair was buzzed as well. He came over to me and smiled warmly, putting his hand on my waist.

"You must be pumped for this." I say to him.

"Yeah, I guess. But after this, I'm going to be getting packed up to go to New Orleans right away. You're coming, right?"

"Yup, of cou-"

"Come on Nick." The director said. My boyfriend obeyed and went to his spot on set. When it started, the video looked amazing as I watched through the camera. Of course, a few things would be edited throughout it before it was released. When they got to the middle of the video, I gulped and held in a breath. I hadn't realized that their clothes were going to come off! Well, half of their clothes anyway. Granted, it was very well choreographed, but it made me a little uncomfortable. The only word I could think to describe it was, Sexy. I didn't think it was sexy, but just in general terms it was. When the shoot was over, Nick and Tove went back to their dressing rooms to change into the clothes they had come in. Tove was the first to come out, and she smiled when she saw me. When she spoke to me, she had a heavy British accent. At least I was pretty sure it was British.

"Hello Love. What did you think?" Her hands landed on my shoulders.

"It was.....impressive." I said with a bit of a blank face before smiling up at her politely.

"I'm glad you liked it. I love working with Nick, he's just the best."

"Yeah, he is."

"Well, I better get out of here. There are other things I've got to do, being famous and all." She jokes.

"Alrighty, maybe I'll see you around." She waves, as well as myself, and Nick comes out just in time.

"So?" He opens his arms for a hug, the camera crew packing all there stuff up.

"It was...interesting." I tell him, taking his invitation of a warm hug.

"Yeah...I may have failed to mention the..." He coughed in gesture to what he was referring to.

"Hey, if it sells your music, I'm all for it. As long as it makes you happy and it's what you want to do." I give him a peck on the lips and take his hand to exit the building. We drive home in a comfortable silence, his hand on my knee the whole time.

When we got home, I got this pain in my stomach. I just figured it was a stomach bug, but I also thought it could be something else. Pregnancy.

"No, no. It can't be that. My period has only been late by one day." I shake my head of the thought, feeling my breath hitch at my throat suddenly.

"Did you say something babe?" Nick pokes his head in our bedroom, a grin on his face.

"Nothing, it's nothing." I brush it off and quickly walk to the bathroom, clutching my stomach. Tears started to sting my eyes as I felt myself bend over the toilet. I vomited up my lunch and just sat on the bathroom floor, rocking myself back and forth with my knees pulled up to my chest. I had never felt this way before. Could I really be pregnant? I didn't know what to do. One by one, tears fell to the tile floor as I sobbed in silence.

"Mar, you okay in there baby?" Nick lightly knocks on the door.

"I'm okay sweetheart." I say, putting a smile on my face even though I'm behind a closed door. I wiped by eyes and thought about my situation at the moment. Maybe I should just go to the Doctor and not tell Nick. I can do that when he leaves tomorrow. I just won't go with him this time, besides, I'm sure he wants some time with his brothers just having fun. I walk out of the bathroom and go into the living room where Nick is playing his acoustic guitar quietly.

"Hey." I say, more quiet then anticipated.

"Hey. You sure you're doing okay? Is it about the music video?" He instantly embraces me, and that brings tears to my eyes. Now I'm super emotional, great. Just what I needed.

"Hey. Why're you crying?" He brings my chin up so I'm looking at him.

"I love you so much Nick." I burst into tears, throwing my arms around his neck and burying my face in his shoulder.

"Well I love you too honey." He kisses my hair and chuckles a little bit. I continue to sob into his shoulder for a good five minutes before I pull myself together.

"I don't think I should go to New Orleans wth you. I'm not feeling so good babe." I admit. It wasn't a total lie. I just wasn't telling him that I was planning to find out if I was pregnant or not.

"What? Why?" His hand goes to my forehead and then to my cheek.

"I'm just not feeling up to traveling. Plus, I'm sure you want some quality time with Joe and Kevin." I smile apologetically, hoping he'll drop it.

"If you're sure." He said, his eyes making him look lost. I felt bad.

"You should pack up and get rest. Big day tomorrow." I smile and kiss his cheek, getting up from the couch and walking to the kitchen. He came behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, his hands resting on my stomach. My eyes instantly got wide and my whole body began to feel warm. I swallowed hard and immediately pulled away after he gave me a soft kiss on my neck. He looks surprised at my action, but I didn't let him say anything. Instead, I ran up the stairs and locked our bedroom door.

A few minutes later, I hear loud knocking on the door. I was curled up on my side of the bed, my mind in every direction.

"Mar, open up." Nick calls. I don't reply.

"Marni, come on honey." I can tell that he's trying to keep calm, and I know that I'm being stubborn as hell.

"Marni, open the door. I need to pack." His voice was getting stern, but I still didn't move. I just closed my eyes right and wished him away. But it didn't work that easily. I just buried myself under the blankets as his voice rang in my ears as it got louder and angrier. I still didn't move, I felt like I couldn't. Eventually, there wasn't anymore knocking and I felt myself drift off into a comfortable sleep.

When I woke up, I was sweating and it was dark outside. I looked around to see that I was alone. I got up from the bed and unlocked the door, not seeing Nick anywhere. I padded down the steps and into the living room, still no Nick.

"Nick?" I croaked out, my voice ragged and broken from crying.

"Nick, where are you?" I was getting scared. Not scared as so much a fear of being alone. I had a fear of being alone at night. Anywhere. In any circumstance.

"Nicky, come on. Where are you?" I sat on the living room floor, pulling my knees to my chest. I just sat on the hardwood floor, scared. By now, tears were streaming down my face like crazy.  Elvis hadn't come to me either. I decided to give it another shot and call his name.

"Nick?" Nothing.

"Elvis?" Nothing. I gazed up at the digital clock on the stove, seeing that it was midnight. Nick still wasn't home, and it was never like him to be out this late when he had to be somewhere the next day. Was he okay? Was he hurt? Maybe I could text him. I got up and quickly walked up the stairs, into our bedroom, and grabbed my phone to text him.

Marni- Nick, baby, where are you?

He didn't reply for a few minutes, so I just sat on the bed impatiently waited. I kept looking to my stomach and thinking of the possibility that I could be carrying a child right now. Or that I could've been holding it for days and never have known. My phone went off and my gaze shot to it.

Nick- be home soon

That's it? Was he mad at me? Where was he? I had a terrible feeling in my stomach mixed with guilt, panic, pain, and just sadness. I was still scared because I hated to be alone, but at least I knew that he'd be coming home. I had to rush to the bathroom because I felt vomit coming. I leaned over the toilet, seat up, and let it all out. When I was finished, I let out a loud moan and just leaned on the tub before I got the strength to get up.

I crawled in bed and curled up in a ball, all the lights still on. Like I said, I hate being alone in the dark. I shut my eyes tight and drifted off to sleep once again, hoping the pain I was feeling wouldn't invade my dreams.