Shy Eyes

13

"Come in." Answered Asher on the other side of his door.

I opened the door knob and stepped in. Sitting on the side edge of the bed he looked up and our eyes met. I didn't feel weighed down under his gaze for once. For once, my chin was held high.

I was so tired of being emotional or sensitive. I was tired of letting the world beat me down, it wasn't who I was anymore. I wasn't gonna go down easy anymore. I marched confidently into the Asher's room and pushed him backward onto his bed. I straddled his waist. His green eyes met mine with confusion and shock. I leaned into him and pressed my lips against his, rough enough to cause a reaction from him. His strong arms immediately wrapped around my waist as he deepened the kiss. Just as he was going to pull me against his body I sat back up with a smirk plastered on my face.

"What? Pais-!" He gasped, his lips swollen pink because of me. I ruffled his hair and chuckled.

"I'm not gonna be a Debby downer anymore." I smiled widely at him.

"Oh you aren't now?" He grinned.

I shook my head no and leaned down again, pecking his lips.

"You're taking me out tonight." I announced.

"What? Where?" He asked.

"There is a high school party and you're taking me." I smirked again.

"A party? You?" He lifted his eye brows and gazed all over me as if he was trying to recognize me.

"Yep. Im tired of living in a shell. I want you to show me how to live a little." I said tangling my fingers in his perfect hair.

"If you say so. I don't want you to panic though. Pais, parties are dangerous-"

"That's the thing Ash," I said leaning in until my lips were by his ear, " I want to be dangerous."

He moved to look back at me.

"Are you sure this isn't just another phase?" He whispered.

I shook my head.

"We are going to the party." I said sternly, "I'm going to get drunk, we are gonna dance, and maybe," I leaned in again, "Maybe you'll be lucky enough to get all my clothes off by the end of the night."

His hands suddenly grasped my shoulders and he leaned me back himself. His facial expression was a mix of shock, horror, amazement, and maybe just a hint of lust. I knew that I'd effected him. That was a goal for me. I was getting my hunky boyfriend all hot and bothered.

"Where did Paisley go?" He said.

" I'm right here." I smiled, a sweet innocent smile this time, I was still myself, but now I was more open- minded.

He sighed and pulled me into him for a hug. A sensitive hug that was so tempting to just melt away in. However, I had been melting away for weeks, it was time to have a little fun. So I pulled myself back and leaped gracefully off of his bed.

"Better go get ready if I wanna look bangable tonight." I smirked.

Before I left the room I heard him speak quietly.

"You're always looking bangable."

I gasped and turned to him. He was now smirking and I winked at him before prancing off to my room.

***
At least three bodies pressed against me, blocking me in like tight walls, not allowing me any air. No longer could I sway, sing, or dance in any way. In fact, I couldn't even breathe. I lost Asher in the crowd. I was grinding him, but he didnt fall for my act, thinking I was just going through another "phase". Plus, I was drunk and he didn't want to dance with me. So I, like the dumb girl I am, pranced off into the middle of the crowd and started dancing with people I didn't know, nor had I ever seen in my life. I swayed to the music holding a cup of an unknown alcoholic substance in my hand. It was probably drugged. Unfortunately, my brain, nor body eas functioning right, and therefore I didn't care what was currently happening to me. Or what was going to happen go me in this current state. Drugs were being smoked and snorted, couples or just random people were making out, practically having sex, grinding, stripping, etc. It smelled like sweat, alcohol, smoke, and who knows what. It wasnt at all like I pictured a high school party. Infact, it probably wasnt because there were alot of older looking people her. Turns out it was a college party and high school students were apparently invited. At first I was enjoying all of it, but suddenly I turned and all I could see in every direction were seas of people. My chest closed up and I stopped breathing. I desperately tried to shove through but the wall didn't give in. One of the guys grabbed my hips and pulled me against him. He was at least a foot taller than I was. His hot breath fanned my ear and I wanted to scream. One of his hands slid up my sides until it wrapped around to grab my chest. Instantly images and scenes flickered across my mind as I was brought back to my abuse. I started squirming and crying. It amazed me how no body noticed that this was happening. His hot hand traveled back down and stroked up my leg, bringing my dress with it until my butt was almost showing. I tried desperately again to move but failed as he dug his fingers painfully into my hip. His knee came up between my legs as he swayed with the music. I made a dangerous decision and with as much force as I could muster, I banged my head backwards until it hit him. He groaned loudly and his grip loosened enough for me to wiggle away, and immediately I ran through the crowd. I didn't know what direction to go in, but I didn't care. I had to find my way out. I couldn't breathe. I was having an asthma and panic attack. Or every attack you could think of all at once. Eventually I came to something. But it was only a wall, and it made me cry harder because I couldn't find the door. I edged along the wall until I made a circle around the room, finding the door after what felt like forever but was probably only 2 minutes. I collapsed into the night air, my knees scraping the pavement, not that I cared in that moment. I curled up on the ground and started sobbing. I covered my head with my arms, hoping to shut out the entire world. It did not work. Instead, when I closed my eyes, I saw my brother. I saw him smiling at me. And then I saw him dead. Mangled. I opened my eyes and tried to stand, but when I lifted my head it hit the corner of a bench, right above my right eyebrow, cutting through my skin. I screeched in pain and felt the blood begin to seep out. With shaking, panicking hands, I pulled out my phone and dialed Asher's phone number. He didn't answer so I continued to cry. I had to leave. I had to. I couldn't be here any longer. Therefore, I began walking down the side of the road, not knowing where I was going, or how to get home.