Shy Eyes

18

Some things come unexpected.

Paisley never knew what would happen to her from the very beginning. Ever since the day her parents had first started hating her. She never tried to predict what would happen. She just had to get by. She didn't try to be brave, or strong, she just tried to get by. It wasn't always a good plan. If something went wrong, which happened a lot, she'd become a huge mess. A mess she couldn't clean up by herself. She heavily relied on someone that wasn't herself. She couldn't survive alone. She needed people. The problem was that she didn't have people. She had one. And when she lost him everything fell apart. But then she found someone who helped her piece some of it back together. But she lost him too. For good. This was supposed to be her undoing. Her end. She knew that the world hadn't wanted her to die before, but when she plunged the knife into her stomach, she knew it was over, that she'd finally get to leave.

But sometimes, your instinct is wrong.

Your gut is wrong.

Her own mind betrayed her, as did her heart.

The world was not done with her...

Paisley could hear the world around her. The sound of doctors and nurses, the beep of the heart monitor, her heart beat. She could feel her body on the soft mattress of the hospital bed. Her bones and muscles were too sore to move. Too heavy. She could feel the wound in her stomach, sore and aching. The felt the cold air from an open window brush her arms.

She knew she wasn't dead.

She couldn't cry. Or scream.

But she didn't feel the need to because she was confused. Drowsy.

All she wanted was to open her eyes but they wouldn't open. She was a heavy weight on a bed. A mind trapped inside a body. She'd never felt so weak. So trapped. So vulnerable. So blind. Paisley wanted to open her mouth and talk. To tell the nurses that she was awake and okay. But she couldn't do it. So she just listened to the steady beep of her heart monitor and questioned God as to what was happening or what he had planned for her. Maybe she'd begin another epic journey. Maybe she'd have to suffer through another tragedy.

She was too tired to greive.

So she slept.
***
Sometimes she heard voices. Hushed whispers of doctors. They acted as if shr was asleep and they didn't want to wake her. She was a awake. If she could just move a damn finger maybe they'd see. Couldn't they do something to wake her?

She now understood everything Jonny experiences.

It was like a panic attack that didn't end.

Paisley would want so badly to cry and move her limbs. To open her mouth and speak, to breathe. But she couldn't and it felt so suffocating to her.

She repeatedly passed out, too tired to keep fighting.

One day when she woke up and heard a voice. One that she recognized as Eve's. She was delighted that Eve had gotten herself out of the house. Her arm was touched by Eve's warm fingers. She wanted to open her eyes badly as ever to speak to Eve and tell her she wasn't in any pain. She couldn't. So she listened.

"I'm not mad at all. At you or Asher. I found his old journal. I know about Emily and what she did. I reported her to the police, as much as I hate to say it. But there will he justice for my son's death. I swear it." She spoke with determination.

If only she knew.

The police wouldn't find her.

" And thank you so much Paisley for helping me and taking care of me. I was too weak to help you and I feel so guilty. Because here you are now, you can't even open your eyes. If you can hear me, and if you wake up, or if you dont, just know that I love you."