Forever and Always

Chapter 12

    She had Renny drop her off at the large brick building before work, she didn't have all of her books, but at least she was there. She made a sharp left towards the back of the school to avoid contact with Jared, who was flirting with a girl/... like nothing happened.

  "Whoa!"

  Scarlett jumped as she hit a body. "I-I'm sorry," she said looking up from under the hood of her gray sweater-shirt.

  "It's cool." The tall, blond boy, paused, looking her over. "Scarlett?"

  "Um, yeah?" she asked, although that he knew her name wasn't a surprise. She had become the crazy, depressed chick.

  "Um, Chase. Chase Bane," he said with a small smile.

  "Look, I don’t know you and too be honest I don't really care to get to know you," she replied harshly.

  "Okay, whatever, wasn't asking you to be friend."

   "Wait... then …  what... how..." she stopped.

    He laughed softly. "We met once... about a month ago. Paul tutors me occasionally."

   "Paul tutors... seniors?" Scarlett asked with surprise in her tone. Had she really been that oblivious.

  "Yes, sadly. He's the reason I'm going to graduate!" He smiled slightly. "He's a good kid."

  Scarlett nodded, that she knew. In the last few minutes she began to regret being so depressed and cut-off. Then again, Levi had died.

  "Well anyway, sorry to bother you" he said, his green eyes smiled down at her.

  She nodded and turned around forgetting she was trying to avoid Jared.

  "Oh my god." She said quickly, seeing him coming straight for her. She leaped behind Chase, who had plastered an all too confused look on his face.

  "Um, are you okay?" he asked, starting to turn around, but Scarlett hit him, making him turn forward.

  "Just start walking." she hissed.

  Chase followed her directions, and turned according to her hurtful pinches.

  Once they had made it safely to the hallway, first period had started and Chase turned around to look at her. "You made me late."

  "Then get going." she said leaning against a locker.

  "Are you coming?"

  "No ... I can't," she said quietly looking down.

  "Oh ... I thought you had started coming to school again,” he said looking over at her intently.

   "I-I have, sorta, it's jus-"

  "You don't have to tell me." He cut her off. "You don't have to if you don't want too."

  "Thank God." she muttered.

  "Wanna, uh get out of here?" he asked.

  She looked up at him, her amber eyes scared and protected, her head telling her to go! Hell, she needed to do something ... live on the edge.

  "Let's go, then." she said.

     Scarlett sat up in her bed, staring at the white wall. For a month, she hadn't done anything and had become quite lonely. The pain weighed on her, the loss of Levi grew heavier on her heart with each day. She quietly got out of the bed and made her way down the hall to the bathroom. She was hit with the smell of bleach the minute she opened the door and sighed. Her mom had been on a cleaning frenzy for two days and the house was rid of any germs; healthy or not.

  She opened the small cabinet above the toilet and grabbed the razor she had kept hidden for a while now. Carefully she sat down on the edge of the tub and rolled up the sleeve of her thin shirt. She pressed the razor into her wrist and stopped before she cut across her skin. She suddenly wondered why she was doing this, why she would make a scar; a wound?

  "It counts as living on the edge," she muttered and made the deep cut. Her wrist bled slightly, and the feeling made her queasy.

  She slightly regretted it slightly. There were other ways to feel a sudden rush, to relieve  the pain. It wasn't just the loss of Levi anymore ... now it was the loss of her self.

    Her arms were wrapped around his waist and her eyes were closed as she felt the wind blowing against her face. She felt everything wash away, no emotion or sadness. He had a motorcycle that made one of the best noises she had ever heard. Chase sped down the road, towards a small park that sat on the edge of their town.

  It only took a few minutes for him to skid to a stop. "You can open your eyes now."

She did slowly and sighed. "That was amazing." was all she said, getting off the bike.

  He just grinned and turned to look at her and then at the horizon. They were on a cliff of sorts, which looked out into the forest and mountains that were only found on this side of town. If you went the other way you would only hit the highway.

  "I used to come up here almost everyday," Chase said, not looking her way. "My dad would get so pissed because I would usually miss first period. But when my mom died I just needed to be away from all the sympathy shit and the friends that I was letting go of."

  She moved next to him and stuffed her hands into her pocket. "I wish I would've known there was a better place then my bed." she said quietly. "A better thing then suicide."

  He nodded. "It helps to have the wind knock all your thoughts away, to stand on the very edge and feel like you coulddie with a single step."

  She looked at him a moment. "Did you know/... Levi?" His name caught in her throat.

  "No... I knew Grant," he said referring to the boy that had shot Levi. The boy that would be in prison for a long time.

  "W-what?" she asked, caught off guard.

  "He's my brother."

  Suddenly, Scarlett's chin began to trembled, suddenly she wanted to push Chase off the cliff, like it was his fault. Finally, she could get revenge. Yet somehow, she couldn't, deep down she knew. If it was Grant she wouldn't be able to either. She was never violent, never a killing sort of girl and although she couldn't grasp the thought of moving on she knew Levi, oh the all "Lets punch him in the face" Levi, would not want her to kill someone.

  She stepped closer to the edge. Drowning out whatever Chase was saying with Levi's voice. She pictured him in her head and she took the last step. She could just take one more step and end it all. One more step and be rid of her estranged family, the few friends who had recently abandoned her, the urge to kill someone. One step.