I thought my life was complicated before......

goodbye and hello

*July* 

We’ve been fighting since April with no end in sight,we aren’t on tour,I am working retail. retail sucks. Allyson is being a tour photographer and the only reason i know that is cause Alex told me. Amanda is with Caleb,Twitter told me that. the worst part of this whole fight thing is I can’t talk to anyone about how shitty working at Hannah’s store with Bitch one and two.. This was destined to be a long ugly and boring summer and than I got the call that made shit hit the fan... 

“Hello,Cookies and Cream clothing.”Gracie said all too sweetly than put them on hold and looked at me “Someone is calling for you,but its personal so you can’t take it.”

“Okay?”I asked as my dad and a very large hannah walked in. 

“Who’s on hold?”Hannah asked Gracie 

“I don’t know.”Gracie said as my dad answered 

“Hello?Oh hey Lil,She is right here. what happened? Oh no,yeah I will tell her, and have you call her bye.”

“Who was that?”Hannah asked 

“Lillian.”My dad said there were no customers in the shop. 

“Sweetie I have some bad news.”

“Okay?”I asked

“Kasey Mecklyn died.”My dad said 

“You’re joking right,I talked to her yesterday.”

“I am sorry hunny.”My dad said as I ran to the back room 

“excuse me your shift isn’t over!”Angie yelled as I grabbed my stuff 

“Fuck off and I quit!”I screamed and ran out of the store. I got into my car and drove home to maryland. I didn’t speed I took my time and cried the entire way home. I pulled into my moms driveway and got out. She opened the door and I just sobbed,than I went upstairs and fell asleep crying.. the next few days were a blur i barely ate,or talked. 

The day of the wake. I went, it was hard getting dressed and getting in my car.. 

“Thanks for coming.”Jake said as i looked at him as Cooper hugged me 

“Hey coop.”

“Please don’t call me coop.”Cooper said crying 

“Sorry pooper.”I said as Caroline his 12 year old sister joined the hug followed by Chase, Cooper’s twin. (not Identical)

“I am so sorry Assey.”

“I miss her soo much.”Caroline cried 

“I know Line.”

I paid my respects. Than went home. The next day was the funeral. it was super hard. no one understood the bond I had with Kasey.. Allyson and Amanda did they were there the entire time.. After the funeral I headed to the scene and sat in the parking lot like I did many times and than headed to the park across the street. I sat on the swings. An hour later my two best friends walked up well i guess former now. no words were said. the only noises were the sound of the swings and the sniffle of our noses. At one point we all just stopped. 

“Im sorry.”I said 

“don’t.”Allyson said “we were all stupid.”

“Stubborn not stupid.”Amanda said “Wait no both.’

“Can we stop fighting?”I asked “I have been a wreck.”

“You seem awfully okay.”Allyson said 

“I have a 2.0 in school do you think I am okay?”I asked 

“So do I.”Amanda said looking at her shoes.

“So do I,but you seem so happy and shit or thats what jack says.”

“I told him to tell you I was fine,but I’m not.”

“Hows the whole Alex thing?”Amanda asked

“Scary,how are you and K?”

“Rocky.”Amanda said “Al you and Z okay?”

“Nope,Zack and I are fighting cause I am fighting with you.”

“At least he didn’t call you a stupid rude bitch who needs to grow up.”I said

“he said that?”Amanda asked 

“Yup in  a text and than he told Rian,Ri told me.”

“Alex called me a bitch.”Allyson said “So did Rian,Jack stopped getting involved.”

“really?”

‘yeah,he was all your my real sister and shit but I love those girls and If you guys are gonna fight I am gonna fight too,so i am gonna ignore all of you.”

“He is so stupid.”I said quietly 

“Did you just quietly call Jack stupid?”Allyson asked “Sarah you can call my brother stupid,we all know he really is.”

“I know.”I said “but when we fight family is off limits.”

“not when we are all an insane family.”

“Fucking blows that I haven’t had anyone to talk to about me and Caleb.”

“What about you and Caleb?”

‘he keeps talking about marriage.”

“Really?”I asked 

“yeah,i mean but there is no fucking way I am ready.”

“I agree your only 21.” I said “Ally if you up the tempo on your song it would be amazing.”

“wait is that what the problem with it was?”

“Yeah it was wicked slow.”

“I think they both should be bonus tracks.”

“I think we should write a song for Kase.”

“I agree.”Allyson said “do you have a guitar?”

“Yeah.”I said as we walked back to the parking lot and got my guitar sat on the ground and all 3 of us wrote the most raw and beautiful song I have ever written. we know a bunch of people who have small studios in the area and we picked up Allyson’s guitar and demoed it with the 3 of us singing.. It was amazing. yeah it took all night and it was purely acoustic and kinda wacky but it was so pure that Pete who we’ve all known since freshman year of high school stood up and clapped with tears in his eyes. maybe it helped that he knew Kasey.. but the three of us couldn’t wait to share this with the world.  

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