Scarred

Fix a Heart

Chapter 5 Fix a heart

Samantha’s Pov

“Clarie,where are you?” I yelled from my room where I've spent most of my days trying to figure out what is written under the beautiful meadow. It’s like a mystery just waiting to be solved.

“I'm downstairs honey!” I heard her reply.  

I ran downstairs  to see her cooking something that smelled a lot like pasta carbonara my favourite but I needed to get out because sitting in your room for a week isn’t healthy, not even for me.

“Well, I was just wondering if I can take a walk to the bookshop we went to a couple a week ago?” I asked.

“But honey the dinner is ready in a couple of minutes!” She told me with a frown. I knew she wanted to see me get out more but I guess she preferred me to do it in the middle of the day when people is walking on the streets  because there’s often less creepy people out at that time. Then a brilliant idea popped into my head.

“How about you invite George over for dinner?” Because I'm not really that hungry, I asked with a slight grin on my face.

She looked kinda doubtful but I knew she had to speak now or he would move on. You can really see it in his eyes that he cares for her but no one waits around forever, trust me I know! Before she could say anything more I took her phone and dialed George's number and gave the phone to her and before she could say anything I took my bag and jacket and escaped through the door. Finally it felt like I had done something good. I mean she takes care of me and worries all the time but I'm 17 and I need her to take care of herself before she suffocates me, not in a bad way but she needs someone else than a depressed 17 year old and he’s the perfect solution.  

I reached the empty bookstore to see him standing in the back smiling and standing as still as a statue.

I don't know why I'm so drawn to him it's just that all I’ve been through have made me cautious among strangers and especially men because of what Kevin did. I am always terrified that it will happen again because I have no guarantee that the ones that I meet are nice persons or at least not rapists. Both the boy and George doesn’t scare me and that scares me because that means that if let them in it will hurt even more when they leave  but what am I talking about I don’t even know the guy but still he’s on  my mind.

I walked inside and heard the bell ring above my head and saw the old man who owned the store walk out and smile at me. I returned his smile with half of smile. I'm getting better at smiling but it's still a struggle. Jeez you who reads this must think I'm some spoiled brat but it's really hard because you never really can fix a heart,I know that because I have tried so many times but it gets harder every time it gets crushed and somehow it always ends up crushed. I may not have gotten my heart broken over boys but there are other things that breaks your heart except from them and sometimes those things are the ones that hurts the most.

I walked around in the store and secretly stealing glances of him, I were probably very obvious because I have no clue about what I'm doing. But he's so...... I don't even know how to describe him. I stopped looking at him afraid of being caught. I turned my attention to the books and saw that they had a book called “What happened to goodbye by Sarah Dessen” whom is my favourite author and yes I do know she writes love stories and that's why I read them actually. It’s kind of ironic due to the fact that I have no faith in love what so ever because in the end someone is going to end up hurt and broken so why even bother with it if it only leaves you crushed. There’s so many other things you can do that doesn’t involve getting  half a heart.

I walked to the register to pay for the book and the boy was standing right in front of me. It's kinda funny how he looks alot like the boy from the book with his brown hair and face structure but how many brown headed boys doesn’t live in New York? Well a lot, I would presume so there’s no way that he’s the one from the book. And it’s not possible that he could be the one either because the book is quite old and he’s pretty young.

The old man stretched his hand out to give the change back to the boy at least that’s what I thought but then he took me by surprise.

“ You know you have to pay for that book,right?” He asked with amusement sprinkled in his eyes and for a old man he looked like a adolescence.

I could feel all of my blood being drained from my face and I tried to stutter out that it was a boy in front of me but he just took the book and with fumbly hands I gave him the money for the it. As I walked out or more like stumbled out, I really started to question my own sanity because who knows I might be crazy. But then again what is crazy? When you know please tell me! Because otherwise I might go insane over that to.

I slowly started walking home trying to think of some reasonable explanation for this weird thing but I just couldn't, I mean it has happened twice now and once is more than enough. Maybe he's a ghost I joked for myself just because I know that's not a possibility.

I heard quick footsteps behind like someone was running so I walked closer to the buildings so that the person could run past without me getting over-run but the crazy part was that I waited for someone to run past me but no one did! I looked back to see a shadow following me. So by instinct I started to walk even faster because somehow that comes naturally to me, if there’s an obstacle on your course run away and chose another lane.

I looked back once again just to see his devious face which made me realize a restraning order will never be enough he will always come back. Then I felt someone grabbing my hand dragging me away and out of reflex I started screaming but it was muffled when the person put its hand over my mouth silently hushing me. By now I was really freaked out, picturing all the worst case scenarios in my head with everything from killed to raped. It was so dark so I couldn't see who my kidnapper was but then we passed a streetlight and to say that I was even more shocked when I saw the boy from the bookshop is an understatement. Then weirdly enough I started to calm myself down like that’s what you’re supposed to do whe you’re being pulled down sidewalk by a complete stranger. Then he started speaking with literally the voice of angel with a british accent.

“I'm sorry for dragging you away and scaring you but I saw that guy following you and you seemed really creeped out, so I thought I’d help you out.” He apologized with a faint smile on his lips.

“Thank you!” was all I could pressure out to the boy who makes me think I'm going mental. Because the old man saw right through him and people usually don't do that to customers because last time I checked that’s not really good for business. I was just about to ask who the hell he is when I heard his angelic voice again.

“We're here.” he just said. I looked up to see us standing right in front of the apartment building where I live.

“How do you know where I live.” I asked kinda freaked out because that my friend is never a good sign if a stranger knows where you live.

“Uh well... I saw you the other day and I live just a few houses from here.” he answered. I looked at him trying to figure if he was lying but his face was all set in stone and I am usually very good at telling if someone is lying. He took a step back and said “Goodnight Samantha” and then just walked away which made me realize that I didn't want him to strangely enough. I have just meet him, he's just a stranger and nothing more I tried to convince myself as I walked into the apartment so see my aunt and George on the couch kissing which disgusted me but I carefully sneaked past them to not disturb their moment. Because she deserves that, happiness I mean.

I threw myself on my bed extremely tired with a thousand thoughts swiveling inside of my brain and then I must have fallen asleep I don't know how because I have never been so confused in my entire life! But before I fell into a deep slumber his face appeared and reappeared  continuously. All I could think of was how unreal he is or the man seriously need to get his eyes checked because nearly being blind can be cured with some glasses or just maybe I’ve gone completely nuts but it doesn’t change the fact that I am drawn to him like a monkey to a banana and with those crazy thoughts I fell asleep.