On The Inside

Rise and Set - sʜᴏʀᴛ sᴛᴏʀʏ

And the sun rises.

It washes away all the worry, the pain, the stress over simple things, the homework, the social problems. It clears my head and fills my heart with simplicity. In the field, there’s no gym class, or dress shopping. There’s no remarriage, and most certainly, no little brothers. That’s the way it is.

And the sun rises.

It rises for me, it rises for him, and it rises for our smelly Algebra teacher. It’s needed daily, to provide light and security. The sun is much more than a ball of fire sitting outside our atmosphere. It’s more than just the center of our solar system, causing summer and winter. It’s my haven. Something so incapable of emotion has got me completely understood.

And the sun rises.

It shines through my dull blonde hair, creating shadows and beautiful mysteries. It awakens the birds, and calls the deer to life. It illuminates a path for a little doe’s first steps. The sunlight opens a cub’s eyes for the first time. The sun creates life.

And the sun rises.

It starts a new day, a new chance, a new opportunity to make things right.

And the sun has risen.

And the sun sets.

It covers what I’ve done, blankets what I’ve destroyed. It covers my bloodshot eyes, darkens my short brown hair. Covers her body.

And the sun sets.

What once was a beauty, now lies in the ground. What once sat at a dinner table, reviewing its day, listening to a little brother groan about homework, now lies beneath the surface.

And the sun sets.

It makes my stained hands look dark and mossy. It makes this field look eerie, and full of secrets. Maybe because it is.

And the sun sets.

The darkness protects people. People like me.

And the sun sets.

It’s too late to turn back now. She’s gone, and I will be gone, right after the sun sets. The trigger is cold under my finger, and the barrel heavy in my mouth.

And the sun has set.