Lullaby For Another Day [BillDip]

Love You, Hate You

God had that felt good. Bill stumbled back, eyes wide as he gripped at his jaw, gazing at Dipper with a mixture of surprise and confusion.

"Bring her back." Dipper spit, gaze burning straight through the blonde.

"Dipper." Bill murmured, stepping towards the other man. Dipper flinched away, a look of disgust twisting his face.

"Stay away from me, you filthy fucking demon." Dipper hissed, his words like daggers. "Tell me how to save Mabel."

"You don't remember, do you?" Bill asked softly, gazing at the hatred seeping off of Dipper's features. The brunette looked at Bill in confusion before his face hardened.

"Oh, I remember. I remember everything. I remember Gideon ordering you to go into Stan's mind. I remember making a deal with you only to have you trick me into letting you possess my body and almost kill me in the process. I remember how you took advantage of Mabel's emotions and locked her away in a prison. I remember how I in turn locked you away with the rest of the rift in my own mind – only to find that somehow or other you managed to escape and take on a human form." As Dipper seethed, he strode forward, taking Bill's collar in his fists. "I remember you lying to me, and manipulating me into... I actually thought I..." Pain clear in his eyes, Dipper pushed Bill away, making the blonde stumble and fall to the ground. Bill winced on impact – he was already pretty beat up as is – but the pain was nothing compared to the aching in his heart.

Dipper had remembered, but he still hadn't remembered everything.

And truth be told, neither had Bill.

Because somewhere deep within them, two years' worth of memories were buried away – locked up by Shooting Star in order to protect Dipper and Bill.

Memories along with the power Bill would need to save both the twins and the world.

"Dipper, please, you don't..." Bill trailed, and Dipper snapped his searing brown gaze to him, a manic smile forming on his lips.

"I don't what, Bill? I don't understand? You are the one who doesn't fucking understand Bill Cipher. This..." He gestured up at the balmy sky, which crackled with lightening, swirling ominously overhead, "Is all your fault. And now Mabel..." He broke off, voice breaking. "You help me bring her back, or I swear to god I will kill you. I'll make it so you can never come back."

Bill - still on the ground - stared up at the boy, each word like a small cut to his flesh. He couldn't recall the details, exactly, of the time they had been together. But he could remember the feeling – like the life they had lived was etched into his skin. He remembered loving Dipper – loving him absolutely. He remembered the warmth of Dipper's smile, the sting of Dipper's sadness. And now, looking at the murderous look in the boy's eyes, his heart twisted with a sense of betrayal.

But at the same time, what Dipper said was true. This was all Bill's fault, and he was going to fix it.

"I can't." Bill stated, letting all emotion fall from his face. Dipper glared at him, gritting his teeth.

"What do you mean you can't?"

"I can't help you. At least, not as I am. Like you said, I'm human now, Dipper. Have been for nearly four years. And as a human I have no powers." He said solemnly.

"Don't bullshit me Cipher. Your powers should have been released at the same time I regained my memories." Dipper hissed with such ferocity that Bill winced. Stepping back, the blonde released a long sigh.

"There's a lot more to this than you realize, Pine Tree. How do you think Mabel ended up like she did? Another deal, another set of rules." As Bill spoke Dipper hissed, stepping forward and swinging at the blonde. This time, though, Bill was expecting it and side stepped the attack.

"You made a deal with my sister?" Dipper shouted, brown eyes burning with fury.

"Dipper, please..." Bill trailed, and the brunette huffed.

"Cut the crap Cipher. I'm done with your lies." He crossed his arms in front of his chest and gazed at Bill. "Now tell me, how exactly are we supposed to get your powers back?"

**************

Bill explained the basic context behind his second deal with Mabel – something about putting the backlash of the spell on herself in return for Bill resetting time. He got a distinct feeling the other man was leaving something out, but he couldn't be bothered to care. He wanted to save Mabel – that's all that mattered now.

"So you are going to put me to sleep and I'm going to enter your mindscape." Dipper summarized once Bill was finished explaining. The blonde nodded, a sad smile forming on his lips.

"I made it impossible for either of us to retrieve these memories separately. The spell can only be broken by you, and the source is in my mind." Bill added.

"I thought you didn't have any powers." Dipper grit, trying to ignore the flicker of guilt that appeared in his gut whenever he looked upon Bill. He hated how, even after all that happened, a part of him still liked the other man.

Which is why Dipper had to keep reminding himself that the person standing before him wasn't a man, but a monster.

"Only a little bit. Small things I regained after the previous spell began to shatter." Bill stated, and Dipper sighed.

His spell. The one that got them into this whole mess in the first place.

"Fine. Whatever it is, I'll do it." He said, stepping forward. "Put me to sleep." Bill paused, looking slightly doubtful.

"Do you... trust me?" He asked, sounding hopeful. Another shot of guilt raced through Dipper, and he swallowed whatever empathy he felt towards the other man.

"Trust? Ha, you don't need trust when you have nothing to lose." He responded flatly. Bill smiled darkly, stepping up to Dipper so that they were barely a hairsbreadth apart.

"I guess I deserve that." He murmured. A pair of blue eyes met a pair of brown ones, stormy with emotion. Dipper's heart picked up pace, palpitating unbidden within the confines of his chest. His breathing hitched even as he did his best to focus on anything but the warmth emanating from the body in front of him.

"How... how will I know, when I, uh, find what I need?" He spoke, his words coming out barely a murmur despite his best attempts.

"You'll know when you see it. It's marked by my magic after all."

Bill raised a single hand, taking Dipper's chin in his hand and running his thumb just below the brunette's lips. Dipper's mind was too fuzzy to even bother pushing him away, his anger fading into something far sweeter and more gentle. Bill smiled, eyes glinting, that familiarly playful expression making Dipper's chest ache.

"Good luck, Pine tree." He whispered, his otherhand wrapping around Dipper's waist. There was a moment of silence, and Dipperwas about to speak when Bill released his chin and snapped his fingers.Immediately, the brunette's mind began to darken, the draw of sleep seeping infrom the corners of his mind and making his body sag into Bill's grip. Hiseyelids drooped - focusing in on the strange way Bill's flaxen locks seemed toglow like a halo against the stormy backdrop of the sky - before they flutteredshut completely. "And goodbye..."/