Take Me Back To The Start (Tony Perry, Mike Fuentes, other people?)

Here We Go Again

I couldn't move. As hard as I tried I just couldn't force myself to move. Or speak. I could hear everyone around me. Oli was blaming himself, Mike was blaming himself too, Vic and Jaime tried to reassure everyone that I was alright and Tony stayed quiet most of the time, when he wasn't yelling at the others. 

The weird thing was, I could see and hear them. I just couldn't touch them or speak to them. I wanted to tell them that it was okay, that I finally felt at peace. I wanted to tell Oli that none of this was his fault and I wanted to question Mike as to why he thought it was actually his fault. 

"Guys, can you give us some time alone," I heard Tony ask quietly. 

All of the guys either shook their heads or gave a quite "yes" as they all walked out to give Tony his wish. I wanted to tell him that I was here, that I could hear him. 

"Charlotte, I am so sorry. If I had just told you that I still loved you that night, that I forgave you as soon as it happened. But I had to get mad and let my anger get the better of me. I know you slept with Mike because I was absent and a shitty husband, yes I was angry but I should have never left you. Jesus Charlie, I still love you. I know that I'm married to a woman I do not love and I know you think that I'm happy, they all do. But the truth is, the kid, Jason, isn't even mine. He's Mike's." Tony was sobbing into my side and I felt helpless because I couldn't comfort him. "Sarah and I are getting a divorce but we're keeping it quiet. Mike knows, and he knows that Jason is his and he wants to be there for them. I respect him for that but I feel betrayed once again. I need you to come back to me because I need you to tell me that it's going to be okay. I need you to lay next to me at night and tell me how much you love me, like we use to." 

"T-Tony," I tried to choke out. My eyes fluttered open and I saw how wrecked he looked.  

"CHARLOTTE," he yelled with a giant smile. "NURSE! DOCTOR," he yelled into the hall.

A team of nurses ran into my room and started checking monitors and trying to tell me what happened. I know what happened, I didn't need reminders. 

"Now we've done a series of tests and we can confirm that you are not pregnant and you did not catch anything," a young nurse said was a smile. She looked over at Tony and winked before walking off with the other nurses in hot pursuit. 

"CHARLOTTE," 4 voices cheered. 

I smiled as Oli, Mike, Vic and Jaime gave me hugs. I was surprised at how the physical contact didn't bother me. You always hear these stories about girls not wanted to be touched by their male friends. To be honest I couldn't imagine that, these guys are my life. Oli looked like he hadn't slept in weeks, it made me feel really guilty. 

"Guys can you give Oli and I a moment," I asked quietly. My voice still wasn't very loud or strong. 

Tony was the last one out but he gave me a worried look. It broke my heart to hear about the things happening to him. 

"I'm so glad you're alright, love," Oli said before he kissed my cheek. Now that made me retreat into myself. "Hey, it's just me." 

"Oli, I really am sorry about what happened at the wedding. I just wasn't ready to get married again. Or at least that's what I thought," I said quietly. 

"You're ready now," he confusedly asked.

"Um, kind of. Oli you've been fantastic, you helped me through some of the roughest times. But the truth is, Tony has always had my heart. He has for the past 11 years. So yes, I'm ready to be married but to the same man I married 8 years ago. Oli I love you dearly, just not in the way that you love me." I felt his thumb wipe the tears streaming down my face.