Scarhead (A Drarry Fic)

Chapter Six-From Behind the bookcase

'I'm just not good enough, I'll never be good enough for Harry Potter.'

Thoughts like these infested his brain as he cried behind the bookcase. Feeling completely worthless. He had never cried like this before, not since he was a young child and his mother had told him to stay away from the other children, she had not wanted them to influence his thoughts about muggle-born, so that the only thing he knew about them were the things which his parents taught him. As a child, this had hurt, not having friends, being completely alone with only your parents.

He tried to control his breathing in between sobs of pain, but his lungs felt like they were collapsing. Leaving his heart enough room to swell in his chest. He was beating himself up inside, for liking potter. For having feelings. He now understood what his father had meant when he told him he shouldn't worry about feelings, about love. He should have listened. If he had listened, he wouldn't be here, crying behind a bookcase over a boy who would never share the same feelings for him.

He should have realized this and gotten over his feelings before, there were too many others who fancied Harry, many of which were far better candidates than him. Girls chased him everywhere he went, even going as far as slipping him love potions. Why of course would Harry choose him, over everyone else? Overall the girls who would have given anything to be with him.

Harry Potter, the boy who lived. The boy who escaped Voldemort when he was only a baby. Anyone would have wanted him. He thought of the Chang girl, how lucky she was to have what everyone wanted. He thought about her going to all of her friends, bragging about him, bragging about how out of everybody, he had chosen her. It made Draco angry, so angry he started pulling the books off the shelves and throwing them, full force, across the room.

It did not make him feel any better. Nothing would. Not even pansy's words of comfort. In fact, at that moment he began to question everything she had ever told him. Every kind word, he didn't deserve it. 

Pacing back and forth behind the now desolate bookcase, he dried his cheeks. Get a hold of yourself, Draco. You are better than this, he repeated these words in his head, trying to make himself feel better. It was pointless, he could not stop the tears. but now the problem was having to go back to the common room. What would the others think if he came back crying? It would be a sorry sight. 

It was getting really late, he would have to go home in the morning and face his father for Christmas. He had to stop lamenting over his loss, but he didn't know how. He placed a shaky hand on the doorknob, maybe he could sneak back into the common room without being seen.

"Draco!" He heard from outside the door. It sounded like Pansy. He thrust the door open.

"Pansy!" He called back.

He heard his name again from the end of the corridor and ran towards her. He thought about what he was going to say to her, tears coming back to his eyes

"Pansy, h-he" he choked. She placed her hands on his shoulders and watched as he cried. "He k-kissed h-her. C-Cho."

"Oh Draco," she said sympathetically. She pulled him into a tight hug and that's where they stood for most of the night, in the middle of the hall embraced in a hug with Draco crying and pansy trying to soothe his ache. 

.

Harry made his way back to the Gryffindor common room. Feeling a strange tingling on his lips from where there had once been another person. They felt cold now, dryer too. Since his third year when he had first noticed her during one of the Quidditch matches, he had wanted that. He had wanted to feel her lips on his. Just to touch her silky hair. But now that he had experienced it, he felt unsure. It wasn't as pleasant as he had imagined.