Scarhead (A Drarry Fic)

chapter eight-Insignificant

Harry slept on the couch that night, Rindr and Geb had not come out of the door to greet them that night, while Draco slept on the ground behind the couch that was furthest from Harry. He had tried to apologize to him, but Harry wouldn't listen. He eventually gave up and did his best to stay away while Harry raged.

"I know you're not asleep, Harry." Draco said after hours of sitting in silence, "I also know that you never sleep. I see you in the morning, and I sometimes stay awake and listen to your uneven breathing at night. So I'll take this opportunity to tell you how much you mean to me. I really didn't mean what I said the way I said it. I only meant that it was out of our control. But you have probably realized by now that I am a coward." he took a brief pause and Harry wondered if he was crying, "I don't think I can, Harry. Face up to the ministry and confront the things that I've done. All of these memories that I wish I didn't have. You told me to forgive myself but I can't. I hurt you, which hurt me. Without you, Harry, where would I be? Back in Siberia with my mother? Maybe dead or in Azkaban, you keep me straight, okay not straight you actually make me quite gay, but you keep me upright. You make me feel good about myself, like how I wished I could always feel about myself. How I used to talk about myself when we were younger. I didn't mean what I said, please forgive me. I really don't like you to be mad, and I know it feels like this is a never-ending cycle of fighting and forgiveness but love is a sport of both skill and chance, strategic planning must become your core competence. And I am sure that I love you. Goodnight, Harry. Do try and get some sleep. It's good for you, you need it."

Harry didn't know how to respond to that little monologue, should he say something, should he forgive him? He stayed silent and tried to determine if he was crying or not. The part where he called himself a coward was the part that stuck out in his mind. He wanted to tell him he was wrong, that he was just being self-conscience. He thought very highly of Draco and hated to hear him talk like that about himself. He knew that he was the only person that he would admit his true feelings too, and he didn't want to ruin that or to take advantage of that kind of trust.

"I love you too, Draco. And I am sorry as well. I'm sorry for being so uptight and getting mad so easily, it's just been really tough, I haven't been sleeping. I've been having terrible dreams about the war and I am just miserable here. I want to go home, to be back with Ron and Hermione, without the threat of you being taken from me. You are not a coward Draco, I wish you would stop saying that." it had been some time since Draco had spoken, he didn't know if he was even still awake.

Several minutes later he heard Draco get up and walk over to where he was lying. He felt a tug on his shoulder as Draco turned him onto his back and laid on top of him. With his face in the crook of his neck he says, " you know, if we keep this going, you'll have to forgive me over and over again, and I'll have to forgive you over and over again too. But forgiveness isn't the point. What we should be figuring out, is whether we are still good for each other or not. We fight a lot, Harry. It's hard and there is no perfect relationship. I used to think that when you fell in love with someone, you just landed where you landed, and they had no choice in the matter afterward, but that is not true. I fell in love with you. But I don't just stay with you by default as if there's no one else available to me. I stay with you because it is my choice."

He pushes himself up so he is looking at Harry. His eyes are watery but he does not cry.

"And I choose you, Draco, every day that I wake up and we fight or disappoint one another, I will always come back to you. Someday we'll work things out, and things will be easier. But it will take hard work, and dedication. " Draco drops down to his elbows and kisses him. They hold that position for a long time. Harry pulls his tongue along Draco's bottom lip and down his jawline.

"Time to complete the cycle, I suppose," Draco says, undoing the button on Harry's pants. He shoves his hand in and works to find a good position for his hand, gripping Harry's penis with an unyielding manner. Harry gives a moan of pleasure, "so what do you think of those guys, Rindr and Geb? They annoy me somewhat." he continues to grope him as they speak.

"It was nice of them to help us."

"Way to be optimistic about it." Draco rolls his eyes. Harry loved it when he did that. He pulled him by his chin back down to his mouth. Holding him there.

"Aren't I always?" Harry said against his lips. He felt Draco smile and he did too. Draco gripped him tightly which made Harry arch his back and moan. "Draco," he whispered before closing the gap in between their mouths.

Harry put his hands underneath Draco's shirt and felt his rich skin, paying close attention to where his scars were. The ones that he had given him. "I want you naked." He said whilst their tongues played. He said it one more time, a little more audible this time, when Draco did not obey his order.

"What about the Americans?" he asked. "That would be quite an awful situation if they were to come out and see us."

"Fine, we'll wait until we get a more secure room. But I am not waiting any longer than that." he shoved his tongue back into Draco's mouth and they continued to fool around until the next morning. Not bothering with the hardship of sleep.