Scarhead (A Drarry Fic)

Chapter Nine-Memories

Over the next few weeks, things only got worse for Harry. Draco still wouldn't talk to him, he had not even glared or sneered or even given him a nasty comment, which, honestly, Harry would have cared less about. But Draco had been full out ignoring him, never even acknowledging that he existed. He had been treating Pansy the same way which meant that she had started spending more time with the three of them, which Ron questioned deeply.

There was also the issue of Umbridge who had given him even more detention. He came back to the common room every night since Christmas with the back of his hand bleeding immensely. Hermione managed to stop the bleeding but, the scars would never go away this, as Umbridge had said, was a good thing in that he would always remember to never tell lies. Not only was she abhorrent to him after school, but she might also have even been worse to him during class.

All of his other classes had been extremely stressful too. With the lingering thought of the O.W.L.S, the teacher had given them even more homework, harder lessons were also put into play. He hardly had time to finish everything. He felt sorry for Ron who also had Quidditch practice to worry about. Although Hermione seemed to be on top of everything, completing all of her work and still having enough time to knit hats for the elves, she stressed a considerable amount about the O.W.L.S and Harry found this very annoying. she was going to get ten outstandings for sure.

Although Draco had not been present in Harrys dreams since he and returned back to Hogwarts, his dreams still consisted of the department of mysteries. These dreams felt different from the others as if he were actually there. Never once had he gotten to open the door which he sought after, he was always shaken awake before reaching it. If only he had unlimited time to sleep, maybe then he could get inside the door. Or maybe it was fate's way of saying that he wasn't meant to open the door, a warning maybe. But of course, Harry didn't listen to this. He and Hermione had many arguments about this.

He finally took Hermione's advice and went to see the headmaster. Although Dumbledore hadn't been very conducive. He had looked at him skeptically and suggested that he take occlumency lessons from Snape, Harry did not like this idea, he would have much rather been taught by Dumbledore himself than by that greasy git. He still, however, listened to Dumbledore's advice and sought after Snape to start occlumency.

Nonetheless, he feared that with Snape digging through his memories, that he would find out about that night with Malfoy. He had no clue how Snape would react to his feelings for Malfoy, nor the other way around. But what would Malfoy do to him he found out that he let Snape find out. He dreaded to think about it.

As time drew nearer to the lessons with Snape, he began to feel a great strain on his chest, Snape mustn't find out.  Another dreadful thing to come of these extra lessons with Snape, apart from more time being spent with Snape, was that he now had to arrange the D.A meetings around something he could tell no one about. How was he supposed to explain why he couldn't hold the meetings on certain days.

He entered into the dungeon that night for his first lesson, feeling extremely weak in the knees.

"Do you not know how to knock, Potter?" Snape asked as he entered.

"Oh, um, sorry, professor." He said as he looked around the classroom for Snape. He could not find him. He stood there by the door stupidly, feeling a little foolish.

"Occlumency, Potter. The magical defense of the mind against external penetration. An obscure branch of magic, but a highly useful one." Snape said. He stepped out from a darkened corner and stared at Harry with his cold, emotionless eyes.

Harry felt chills run down his back and he tried to suppress a shiver. "The purpose of occlumency is to prevent a Legilimens from perceiving one's emotions and thoughts."He rambled on about the facts of the subject and Harry pretended to be listening intently, but he didn't really understand what was being said. "Now then, we shall begin." Snape pointed his wand at the center of Harry's forehead, "Legilimens! "

There was a sudden pull in his head and he felt like he was falling forward. He saw himself at seven watching Dudley ride his new bike.....the memory changed and he saw himself at age ten being shoved back under the stairs by Dudley......age eleven when Hagrid broke down the door......age thirteen at the Quidditch match against Ravenclaw, the one where he had first noticed Cho.... he felt his body hit something hard and then soon after, his head; He was on the floor.

"I told you to empty yourself of emotion! ... Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked this easily — weak people, in other words — they stand no chance against powers! He will penetrate your mind with absurd ease, Potter!"

He had of course, not been listening when he had told him to clear his mind, so he had been totally unprepared.

"Leave, potter. We will continue another night." Snape said.

Gratefully, he left the potions classroom, feeling the weight in his chest lift. He was pleased with Snape's lack of patience, that might have been worse if he would have had to stay longer, he would've had more access to his memories, or in other words, the memory of his and Draco's conversation.

Ron and Hermione were the only ones left in the common room when he got back that night, sitting in their usual spots by the fire. He drew nearer and felt the heat from the fire intensify, making him realize how cold he really was. He felt the instant comfort of taking his weight off of his legs.

"How did it go?" Ron asked.

"I totally failed, it was so awful, so many memories I just let Snape look at," Harry said woefully. 

"He didn't find out anything important, did he?" Hermione asked with emphasis to the word 'important'. He knew what she was talking about. Ron however, did not.

"What do you mean, anything important. Harry has nothing to hide." Ron said in Harry's defense.

"No, I don't." Harry agreed. "But there are some memories that are significant to me. That would be better if Snape didn't find out, you know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I guess," Ron said. They didn't speak any more of the topic before going to bed.

Things carried on as normal for several more weeks, having no more occlumency lessons with Snape, he began to feel hopeful that he had forgotten. Pansy grew closer to them as Draco grew further and she had even started using their first names. Ron had found all of this very confusing but did no longer complain about her when she wasn't around.

Honestly, Harry would have felt better if Malfoy had still taunted him, or called him callous names, anything other than completely ignore him.

"He's not talking to anyone," Pansy was told them one night while in the library, "Not even Crabbe and Goyle. I think he's afraid of what will happen if his father finds out. I don't blame him. With an abusive Father like his, I would be afraid too."

Harry was a little taken back by these words, abusive father?

"Oh Harry, don't give me that look." She said laughing. Why was she laughing?

"I am genuinely concerned, I had no idea. If I would have known-"

"What, you wouldn't have fought back, you wouldn't have taunted him back?  Harry don't give me that bullshit. Honestly, I think the reason Draco likes you is because you fought back with him, you didn't just take it like those other worthless wusses." She scolded.

"Gee, thanks" he mumbled.

Turning away from her, Harry looked down at the book in front of him. Would he have cared if he would've known about Malfoys father? Probably not. Ron came back with a book he had gone off searching for and showed it to Hermione.

"There were a lot of books on boggarts it was hard to choose, so I just got this one." He said.

"Ron, you just got one!" Hermione exclaimed, seeming a little hurt by this, she got up and dragged him back over to the shelves with information about the dark arts. Harry continued to read his book about the regeneration potion, writing down what he thought would be a good thing to add to his essay. This is going to take forever, he thought.