Hold Me Tightly (LostGirl FanFic) (Doccubus) (girlxgirl)

Mending.

*Bo's POV*

"I don't know, Kenzi. She just does. I just don't know," I say for the fifteenth time this morning. I wish Kenzi would quit bringing it up. I mean she knows how hard it takes for me to get serious with someone and even how hurt I was when Dyson left me. I mean, I'm over him because I always was with him. I cared, but Lauren, she was something else.

I've had lovers and even a few spotty relationships here and there, but she showed me strength, support, and most importantly, love. I've never felt the way I have for anyone. Even my first love. I wish we didn't have the relationship we do because I really love her.

"Well Bobo, we're gonna have to figure out what to do about her because I really don't wanna have to go over there and give her a piece of me." I sighed and shook my head and quietly replied, "Well, I do have stuff over there, but I don't want to go over there right now. I do miss living in the crack shake with my bestie." She comes over to hug me and reassures me that everything will be okay.

We end up turning on the TV and watching back-to-back reality shows until my phone rings. I jump up to get it and I almost stop breathing due to the name that shows up on the screen. I walk into my old room, which still has everything in the same place, and answer it. "Hello?" I hear a very stressed out Lauren on the other end, shakily responding, "Hi. Can we please talk? I need to explain about everything." I have a mental argument with myself and finally give in to Lauren. "Sure. I'll come over later." I hang up with no goodbye before yelling, "K, I'm getting a shower." 

I take a long time in the shower and halfway through, I started feeling that aching hunger in my stomach. I groaned and tried to make the hunger subside, but it made me feel empty everywhere. And on top of that, my emotions got the best of me. Everything flashed before my eyes and I felt my heart hurt. 

The only thing I could envision was the first day I met Lauren in her beautiful lab coat and her nervousness. She lit up her entire office and took my breath away. I remember the first time we slept together and how we fought then. I remember our prison break and how I felt free in so many ways that day. 

I began to cry. And I cried harder than I ever had before. It was insane how in love with her I was. Most people say that your first love will never beat any other, but it feels like she really was my first love. I feel like anything without her now is wrong and painful. She's all I've ever really wanted. She has my heart in such a short amount of time. It hurts how much I love her. 

I rush to finish as the hot water gets cold and I throw on some loose jeans and a tee. I head back into the living room and explain to Kenz what was going on. "You just be careful, Bo. I don't want to see a post-Dyson again." I hug her goodbye and as I'm walking out I mumble, "Oh, if it ends, it'll be worst than post-Dyson."

I began driving to what felt like the worst day of my life. I tried listening to music, but on top of my emotions and hunger, it irritated the hell out of me. Before I knew it, I was at her door, trying to work up the courage to knock. I finally knocked and what came to the door hurt me so much. I saw Lauren wearing the same clothes as the night before. "Oh, hi. I thought you'd be coming later than now. I didn't get a chance to fix anything."

I sighed and went in closing the door. "It's okay, Lauren," I said as I looked around to see three empty wine bottles and take-out on the table beside the couch. "Please sit," she said, "I'll be right there." I went into the living room and sat down. Quickly, she came in carrying two full glasses of wine. She sat down beside me and I could tell that she was not okay. I'd never seen her like this before.

"Bo, I-" Before say anything else, I acted on an impulse and kissed her. After pulling away, I felt hungrier than before. "Lauren, stop. Just stop." I felt my hunger surge and luckily I willed to subside as I told her to tell me everything from beginning to end. 

After she told me about Nadia and how she was in a coma for four years, I felt terrible for her. "But Bo, it's nothing. I still want to be with you, but I'm so confused." I pull her into a long hug before kissing her gently. I stroke her hair before whispering in her ear, "Let's just live for the moment, because I don't want to let you go just yet." 

I kiss her gently and she began to relax and after I carried her to her room, I had to feed. I kissed her again more passionately and soon after that, she was satisfied and so was I. We were still mending us, but I didn't know what would happen. That night, after everything, which included a shower and change of clothes for Lauren, we were holding each other. I felt her heart beat slow and she fell asleep in my arms. All I could do was stroke her soft skin and golden hair before whispering, "I still love you, Lauren."