It's dark and I'm not okay.
They keep telling me I'm fine.
But I'm not.
I can't talk to you.
I can't see you.
They said you're gone.
Gone.
What the hell does that mean?
You can't be gone.
The jokes we shared?
The laughs?
The smiles?
The tears?
Gone.
And I don't even know who they are.
They tell me everyone is gone.
It was
An accident.
A crash.
A fire.
Suicide.
Peaceful.
It's different every time.
But every time I explode.
And they tell me I'll be okay.
The grief will pass.
And it does
When I wake up in tears.
Because this is my nightmare.
Losing you.
Losing the people I love.
And I relive it.
Every
Fucking
Night.
Without fail
I lose someone.
A friend.
Family.
People I love.
Why?
Do I love too much?
Should I stop?
Because as much as I love
This hurts so much
And the pain is real
Even though the loss is not.
Will it ever stop?
Or will I be forced to see it
Every
Fucking
Night?
I don't want to sleep.
I fear the dark now.
Because what happens
When this nightmare
Becomes reality?
I can't close my eyes.
I see it all over again.
It hurts.
If it isn't real
Then why can I feel my heart breaking?
YOU ARE READING
Thoughts
PoetryMy thoughts tend to form like poems, so I figured I'd share them- part of me hoping they make sense to more than just myself.
