Identical

Chapter 17

Brayden

***

"The most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained."

I don't remember who said this quote, but it felt like the right thing to say to Carly and her brothers. I had just seen their dad shoot himself. I had asked Owen if he had heard what he said before he died, but Owen said that he said nothing. But he did. His last words were, "Tell my kids and wife that I'm sorry." I don't know if I'm supposed to tell them that, but it seems like the right thing to do. 

I walked over to Carly, Zach, and Daniel. Owen was over there trying to comfort a hysterical Carly. Zach was crying and clutching onto Daniel. Daniel wasn't crying though, I think he was more in shock than anything else.

"Um, Carly? Boys?" I said quietly. They all looked at me, even Owen did. "Uh, I heard your dad say something before he uh..."

"Brayden, what did he say?" Carly asked.

"He said, 'Tell my wife and kids I'm sorry,'" I said somberly. Carly's eyes widened.

"Oh my gosh, mom," she said mostly to herself, "How is she gonna react?" She started crying even harder.

"Mom? Can you call Mrs. Harris?" Owen asked mom, "I think she should know what happened here."

"Oh my gosh, I didn't even think about Sharon," mom said walking towards the phone. 

Dad was still talking to the cops. Some paramedics were called and they covered up Mr. Harris' body, but I would never forget what happened tonight. 

"Brayden?" dad said.

"Huh?"

"Are you okay? You look kind of sick," dad said coming closer to me.

"Ya, I'm fine," I lied. Of all the people to not be alright, it wasn't gonna be me.

"I'm gonna need a statement from everybody here," Officer Newton said.

"Alright, my wife and I'll start," dad said taking the cops to the living room.

"Okay, we'll need your boys to go next Steve," Officer Ryder said.

"Okay."

Dad and the officers walked out of the room, leaving us kids and the paramedics. One of them had come when Olive collapsed and when I broke my nose. He looked up at me and gave an "I'm sorry look."

"It seems like I'm here a lot," he said, trying to lighten the mood. It didn't work.

Carly had stopped crying and so had Zach. Everyone was eerily quiet and I didn't like it. I needed someone to be talking or something to distract me.

"I'm gonna go get some air," I said walking out of the room.

"Can I come with you?" Danny asked.

"Sure," I said ruffling his hair.

We walked down the stairs in silence. I didn't know what to say to a kid who's dad just shot himself, so I didn't say anything. We passed the door where Mr. Harris had all but broken in. Dad said he was gonna fix it eventually, but I knew it would be awhile.

When we got outside I called Hattie and explained what happened. I didn't tell her to come over, but she said she was going to anyways. When she hung up, I looked over at Danny and noticed a bruise on his collarbone just visible above his shirt. I also noticed some bruises on his face and arms.

"Danny, are you okay?" I asked stupidly. Of course he's not okay, I thought to myself.

"Is it bad that I'm not sad that he's dead?" he asked. I was a little taken aback by his question.

"He was a very bad man who did very bad things to you, so no. I don't think that it's bad," I said squatting down to face him evenly.

"I don't even know why Carly's so sad," he said, "I mean, all he was was mean to her. He always said stuff to make her sad and he always said that Owen was just using her."

"I can assure that Owen's not just using her," I said.

"Oh, I know, I can tell he really loves her."

"How can you tell that?" I asked, curious to what his thoughts were.

"The way that he looks at her when she's not looking, how whenever she's sad, he's always trying to make her feel better. When someone's in love with someone else, they don't have to say. You can tell by the way that they treat you," he said.

"How do you know so much about love?" I asked.

"Because I just do," he said matter-of-factly, "Mom loved dad so much, I could see it in her eyes. He didn't love her back though. Owen and Carly are in love. Your parents are. It's not that hard to see who is and isn't."

I was going to say something, but Hattie pulled up. She barely turned off the car before she got out and ran over to Danny and me. I stood up and she pulled me into a hug. Then she hugged Danny.

"Are you guys okay?" she asked. "Oh, Danny. You're all bruised up."

"It's, it's n-nothing," he said moving away from her.

"Danny, he's gone," I said, "You don't have to hide it anymore."

"Hide what?" Hattie asked, clearly confused.

"Ya I do!" Danny yelled, "It's my fault anyways, so why shouldn't I?"

"Daniel. This is not your fault," I said firmly, "Your dad did this on his own. You did nothing wrong. He was a sick, sick man."

"Is someone going to answer my question?" Hattie asked impatiently. 

"It is my fault. I wasn't a good enough son, or brother for that matter. I couldn't even protect Zach," he yelled. He eyes were filled with tears that threatened to spill over, and they did.

"Oh, Danny," I said pulling him into a hug, "You did nothing wrong. All you wanted was to be loved and he didn't give that to you. All you wanted was a normal childhood, and he robbed you of that." 

Over Danny's shoulder, Hattie mouthed, "What's going on?" I mouthed back, "His dad beat him. Go inside and check on the others." She nodded and went inside. Danny freed himself from my grasp.

"Brayden, you don't understand. This is my fault, he even said so himself. He said that I was the worst son anyone could have and that I didn't know how to be a good brother and that I'm better off dead," he said quietly.

"That's not true and you know it," I said, "Your one of the smartest, funniest, and loving kids I've ever met. Don't let that man's lies deceive you."

"I'm not, because they're not lies," he said, backing away from me. "Tell Carly and Zach I'm sorry."

"Wh-what do you-" I stopped short. "Danny, no. Don't do this."

"Just, just tell them I love them and that I'm sorry," he said. He then took off in a dead sprint down the street.

"Danny!" I yelled, running after him, "Danny! Come back!"

"What's going on?" Olive yelled from the door.

"Danny's running away, go get mom!" I yelled trying to keep up with him. "Danny, this isn't your fault! Come back!"

After chasing him for about 10 minutes, I started to get really tired and dizzy. I tried to yell for him, but all that came out was a wheeze. I collapsed on the ground and lost sight of him.

"Dammit!" I yelled.