I Wish

A Window To The Soul

Breakfast continued without any more major disruptions, but the atmosphere was anything but normal.  The boys seemed to have a major problem with giggling, and Sam and Nora were a bit closer than usual.  When breakfast was finished, and everything was cleared up, the group went down the hall.  As they walked down the hallway, Sam looked at Nora, and said, "Where are we going?" Sam honestly couldn't care less about where they were going, as she was replaying that kiss over and over again in her head, but she was looking for an excuse to talk to Nora, and here was one.  Ready made.  Nora started a bit at the sound of Sam's voice before saying, "Crafts.  We get to do small crafts under careful eyes."  Sam looked over, a bit curious now, "What kind of crafts do they let us do that doesn't involve something that we could use to...." Sam trailed off, not wanting to finish that sentence.  Nora picked up her vibe, and finished Sam's sentence for her, "Hurt ourselves with?"  Sam nodded, feeling a bit sheepish at bringing it up.  Nora laughed a bit at Sam's sudden timidness, "No worries.  Everyone wonders that at first.  It's practically baby proofed, nothing's gonna get you in there Sammy."   Nora playfully nudged Sam's side.  Sam's head spun as Nora's words echoed in her head.  Her eyes widened, and she froze in place.  "Nothing's gonna get you in there Sammy.  I'll be right here." Sam turned around to face her dad.  "Are you sure daddy?" Sam was scared of heights, and the slide at the park was huge in the eyes of a 6 year old. The tunnel looked like a gaping monster, ready to eat her whole.  "I'm sure.  Now go up there, and I'll be at the bottom just for you."  Sam nodded timidly before going to the bottom of the ladder.  She climbed up, and prepared herself.  She sat down at the base of the slide and- Sam snapped out of her memory, shaking, with wide eyes.  She tried to clear her head when she realized that she wasn't standing up.  She was on the ground, a concerned looking Nora in front of her. Nora's lips were moving, and it took Sam a minute to realize that Nora was saying something.  "Sam? Sam.  Are you okay?  Sam!" She looked up at Nora, still a little dazed, and shook her head yes.  Nora wasn't buying it.  She gave Sam a look.  Eyebrow raised, lips turned down, the whole package.  In any other circumstance, Sam would have saved that face in her memory but, at the moment, she had a bit more on her plate.  Nora stood up, still giving Sam the look.  She offered a hand to Sam, and she gladly grabbed it.  Now that Sam was standing up, there really was no point in holding Nora's hand any longer, but neither wanted to let go.  Nora was scared that Sam would fall over again, and Sam, well Sam just needed a bit of stability at the moment.  The two walked with the end of the group to the room at the end of the hall.  Once they got in, Nora pulled Sam over to a small corner with large squares of glass.  The edges were all capped so no sharp, protruding edges would get in the way, and cut anyone.  Sam gave Nora a confused glance.  Nora held up a finger, before pulling paints over from the other side of the table.  Sam, still not fully understanding what they were doing, gave the other girl a questioning look before asking, "What is it that we're doing exactly?"  Nora pulled out a paintbrush from behind the paints, and gave it to Sam. "They're soul windows.  We're supposed to be painting what we think our souls look like on this glass, so when we hang them up, people can see our souls."  Nora pointed over to the wall where there were several soul windows hanging up already.  Sam looked over a few before her breath caught a little in her throat.  Nora smiled a bittersweet smile when she caught the focus of the others stare.  "So you found Lexi's?"  Sam looked over at Nora before finding words, "It's beautiful!" She looked back to the window as Nora hummed in agreement.   The window was truly beautiful.  Large soft wings were centered in a sea of blue.  They were a pure white, with soft gold and rose colors rimming the edges, creating a feeling of peace and serenity. The background was a pale blue, swirled with darker hues and light purples.  There were small, golden flecks in the current of swirls, perfectly matching the gold in the wings.  It was a masterpiece.  Sam looked down at her own window, and tried to figure out what she should do for her soul.  Nora was already hard at work, using reds, blacks, and grays.  Sam couldn't see exactly what she was doing, but she thought she caught sight of a sea of red.  She looked around the room, hoping to catch some inspiration. She saw a lot of things, and not a lot of them were inspiring.  There was a boy who was drawing large summoning circles in black paint on an easel, the two boys (Jasper and Zach) who were drawing portraits of each other, and a woman who seemed to be doing nothing at all but talk to her crayon.  Those were the best and easiest things on the eye.  Sam turned back to the table, and pulled out the green paint.  Nora caught the moment out of her peripheral vision, and turned to Sam. "Are you going to tell me about what happened in the hallway?" Sam almost dropped the paint, before turning to Nora, and giving her a resolute "No."  Nora wen't back to her paining, and said, "You know, it's not a bad thing if you tell me.  I won't tell anyone if you don't want me too, and let's face it.  We're all crazy here, so what's a little more crazy gonna do to us?"  Sam unscrewed the top of the jar, and began working.  "I'm not going to tell you, so you should probably drop it now. You gonna tell me about Lexi?" Sam had picked up on Nora's attitude change when Lexi's name was mentioned, so she figured it was a pressure point worth using.  Nora huffed and turned round.  The two went back to their painting.  Sam immersed herself in the task of painting her soul.  She had a good idea in mind, and if it worked, it would turn out almost as good as this Lexi person's painting. The two sat in silence for the next thirty minutes, each wrapped up in their own thoughts.  Nora finished first, and she went over to the wall, and found a nail to hang her work on.  Sam tore herself away from her painting to look at what Nora had made.  She was, for the second time that day, in awe.  It was a near perfect replica of Lexi's soul.  Near perfect.  Where Lexi's was full of mute tones, and soft edges, Nora's was sharp.  The wings were black, with red tips, like blood.  The feathers were razor sharp, and the whole painting seemed to be swimming in a red sea of utter chaos.  The background was shaded with swirls of red.  Grey accents flicked the painting like ash falling from the sky.  It was horrifyingly beautiful.  Haunting, and sad.  Nora turned away from Sam, and walked over to the boys, not quite meeting her eye.  Sam turned back to her own soul, which seemed meek in the presence of Nora's piece. She dabbed the last of the color onto the edge, and hung it up.  She turned back to her place at the table, when she caught Nora, staring at Sam's picture.  Sam sat down, as Nora stood up to look closer at the picture.  Nora finished looking at it, and walked back over to Sam. "You never told me you could paint!" Nora exclaimed, utterly floored.  Sam looked up, a little color beginning to flush her cheeks, "You never asked." Nora gave her a grin, "There's the cheeky Sam I know.  It's beautiful!" Sam shook her head slightly. She didn't believe it was any good.  It was good though.  It was beyond good. A pale blue wash in the background, made to look like the ripples on a pond, gave way to a mute swan, her head hung low.  Her feathers were messy and not preened. She was a haggard, torn, and frayed shadow of who she used to be. And, If you looked close enough, there were tiny flecks of red splattered across her drooping wings.  A window to her soul.