The Silent Fighter

Lost

It's been a month since the incident on that Thursday. I still haven't been in contact with my mom, I don't even know where she is. My aunt is bringing Susana and I home to grab some clothes and whatever else we want to get. So I'm getting clothes and other necessities. Also, I'm gonna go into my mom's room to see what I can find. If no one is going to tell me what is going on, I'm finding out for myself. In my mom's room I search her closet for something that can tell me anything about her that could be useful. In her closet I find diaries. There are tons of them from, I think, every year. My aunt is getting impatient, so I decide to skim through them and take the ones that I think might be the most useful. Then, I run downstairs where my aunt and Susana are waiting and we leave.

We arrive at Aunt Lyra's house, I quickly say hi to Uncle Bob and rush to the computer room, that's where I usually hang out when I go there. I take the diaries out of the bag I brought and opened the first one.

'January 19th, 2003

Today Autumn decided to dress up in my clothes, heels, and necklaces to look like me, I have to admit though, even though she was wearing my clothes, she still looked like Michael. It scares me how much she looks like him, it's like why don't you look like me, your mother, the one who gave birth to you haha.

I read on a little more when I got to this,

November 9th, 2009

John and I decided to break up. After six years AND having Susana, we broke it off. It killed me to have to tell Autumn we were moving AGAIN. We've moved so many times to different apartments, I hate moving her around so much....... If it wasn't for her or Susana, I probably wouldn't have much of a reason to be alive. I'm still unsure why God had me stay in this world. It sucks. I was born three months early, I am not supposed to be alive. I was born almost dead. If the doctors let me fall asleep I'd be dead. I didn't want to be here I wasn't supposed to be here. If it weren't for my kids I'd have absolutely NO will to live. Then when my sister died it almost happened, Autumn stayed with Michael because I wasn't stable, hopefully she has my horrible memory and doesn't remember that. I'm back on the Anti-Depressants again, and the anxiety pills, and basically anything that will keep me stable and get me back on my feet, if I can.........'

She didn't want to live, she could have killed herself. That might explain the blood in the bathroom and the medicine on the counter. Did she try to commit suicide? It's obviously not her blood pressure that's got her in the hospital. I'm going to talk to my Aunt.

"Aunt Lyra, when am I going to see my mom?" I ask whenever Susana left the room.

"I don't know Hon, she just needs some time to rest, the hospital she's at doesn't let kids in under the age of 12. If they are 12 or older, until 17, they need to come in with an adult," she replies. 'What is she in some kind of mental hospital?' I think to myself. I go back to the computer room and think about this whole situation, trying to piece it all together. Let's see, all her medicine was on the counter, blood on the bathroom walls, now that I think about it there was some on the staircase too. She was completely out of it, then she told me to remember that she loves me, then Andrew with that look of complete fear on his face. Then the diaries and losing her will to live, and the fact that the hospital only let's in kids 12 and older, which they have to have and adult with them. It's all so confusing. I decide to sleep on it, I'm going back to my dad's after school tomorrow I'll think about it more then.

"Hey Autumn," Ava says, "do you notice anything different about Katrina?" She asks. She's spending the night at my house tonight. I haven't been paying much attention to anyone or anything lately except for my mom, and all her diaries. You know, she's saying she can't take it anymore, in her diaries, and that her medicines are screwing her up, but she keeps taking them. I realize that they are drugs and it's hard to stop them if you've taken them for so long, but she could at least try.

"No I haven't noticed anything," I reply.

"Well, she's acting really different and I don't mean to be rude, but she's getting a little bigger, like, her stomach."

"Maybe she's pregnant," I joke. We both laugh.

"Wait, what if she is! We could find baby names and look at baby clothes! This is so exciting!"

"Yeah it is, but we don't know for sure yet so let's not say anything or get too excited."

"Ugh, fine. I guess you're right, I mean for all we know she's just gaining a little weight." She goes straight to the baby name book anyways. It would be interesting if she was pregnant. Maybe this time I'd actually have a brother instead of a sister. I still haven't told Ava about what happened on Thursday. I've just been preoccupied with my mom and figuring out what happened I just never thought about it. I haven't even told my dad or Katrina, and I tell them almost everything. Ava and I were just about to go to bed when my dad called us all into the kitchen.

"We have some news," he says with excitement.

"What is it?" Ava and I ask at the same time.

"Mom, well Katrina, is going to have a baby."