The Silent Fighter

Surprises

Ava jumps up for joy and screams, "I knew it! I knew it! Actually, we knew it! Right Autumn?" She stares at me with huge, blue eyes. I am excited I really am, I just can't bring myself to say anything. Jennika doesn't really know what is going on so she's just standing there wondering why everyone is so excited. Then I figured I should probably say something.

"That's great!" I try being excited, I'm not jumping for joy like Ava, but I at least tried. I am really excited, why can't I bring myself to show it? I don't understand. 

"We thought that you were pregnant! We were actually just talking about it in her room, we must be psychic!" I'm still processing it.

"So when do we know if it's a boy or a girl?"

"Well we thought about it," said Katrina, "and we thought it would be fun if it was a surprise! What do you guys think?" Okay, I don't want anymore surprises, I just want to know the gender. Is that too much to ask for?

"Yeah, that sounds good," I smile.

"Let's look for baby names!" Ava says as she drags me to my room. I love her, she's my best friend. She's so adorable and lovable. I remember when we first met. Her whole family came over for a bonfire one night and we roasted marshmallows, it was so much fun. Then, we went inside to my room and we were talking about the type of music we liked. It turned out that we both love singing and playing barbies, of course we were nine when we first met. That night we decided to have a concert on my back porch for everyone. Sophie, Ava's sister joined us too. I was on the drums, Sophie on guitar, and Ava sang, well we all sang. Our first song together was the iCarly theme song. We all three loved that show. Then she had to go home, but it was a really fun night.

It's Sunday and that means I have to go back to St. Louis, to my aunt's. I usually say I'm going back to my mom's, but I'm not.... Anyways, when I get back to their house my aunt tells me we can visit my mom, but I can't tell Susana. I have to pretend I'm twelve years old so I can get in and see her. Susana can't go because she's still only four. We finally arrive, after about an hour, and it's a plain white building, it's not exciting at all. When we walk through the doors everyone stops and stares like we're walking the red carpet. Aunt Lyra nudges me to keep going, I glance back and see Uncle Bob smiling at me, I smile back. I keep moving as people stare at me, I have a bad feeling about this. We walk to the front desk where there's a lady grinning really wide, kind of creepy.

"Hello! How can I help you all today?" She is so perky, it's annoying.

"We're here to see Amber Lewis," Aunt Lyra replies.

"Yes... her," she's still smiling, but not as much. She turns to me, "how old are you young lady?"

"Twelve," I say without hesitation. She gives me a look for a second, and I look straight into her eyes. After a few seconds she allows us to go in, but we can only stay for thirty minutes.

There is a white staircase, everything is still white with no color. Everyone there is dressed in white, still staring, but my aunt and uncle don't seem to notice. My aunt walks in front of me and I follow. We walk into another white room, just like the others in this place. The only thing different is this room is there are little games, like the games you would find at a kid's doctor's office. There's also magazines and other little things.

I'm searching and searching for my mom, then I spot a woman in a white nightgown sitting with her legs crossed in a whitish brownish chair writing in a brown journal.

"Mama?" She looks up at me with her big blue eyes with a huge smile.

"Hi Honey! How are you?" Her pupils are dilated, she's probably drugged.

"I'm fine," my voice trails off, but I still smile so that way she doesn't think anything of it, not that she would though. As I'm about to speak again another lady in white, who's even more drugged, looks at me and smiles even bigger than my mom did at me.

"Hi little girl!! Is this your mommy??" Oh my gosh I don't think I can handle her, she's so perky.

"Yes," my mom answers for me, "this is my little girl, Autumn say hi," she nudges me.

"Hi...." I'm not sure how I feel about this yet. The crazy lady walks away.

"That's my crazy roommate, don't pay attention to her she's really crazy," my mom laughs.

Hold on. Let's pause for a second. No one is allowed in unless they are twelve or older, even then you need an adult. We're only allowed in for thirty minutes then we have to leave. The whole place is white and people are all dressed in white. Everyone either looks like they're drugged, is drugged, is just plain crazy, or all three. They have roommates and they're not allowed to leave unless someone here allows them to. I know where we are. This is a mental hospital. As I look around it all makes sense. There's signs all around saying, "I know you can get through this!" or "You are strong!" "Just keep swimming!" That sign has Dori from the movie Finding Nemo on it. I back up for a second to take it all in.

"Lyra and Bob, it's time for you to leave," the perky lady in white says as she walks through the doors. My aunt starts walking out the door. My uncle looks at me, then looks at the clock.

"Hold on a second," the lady pauses and stares at him blankly.

"Sir, it's time to leave."

"We got here at 2:00, it's 2:20, we have ten minutes." They have a staring contest for a few seconds, my uncle won.

"Fine. You may stay until 2:30. If I do not see you in my lobby by 2:30 then-"

"We'll be there, I promise," my uncle cuts her off. She storms out of the room. I walk over to my mom to talk to her, maybe I can get something out of her.

"Hey Mama, what are you writing in?" I ask.

"This is my diary, I write in it everyday." I glance over to see what she was writing. There's drawings, drawings of her falling off a cliff and being run over by a car........ Then there's also some over her standing under a rainbow with the sun shining bright. "I've had this diary since I was twenty-five. I write everything in it," bingo, "I usually keep it in my closet at the very top." I smile at her as I'm about to speak, then the stupid lady comes in again.

"It is 2:25 time to go."

"Not yet," I mumble, but she still hears me. She shoots me a glare. I glare right back at her. "If you are not in my lobby by 2:30-" my uncle cuts her off again.

"We will be there! Let this little girl say goodbye to her mother will you? Lord have mercy on you for you are an awful person! Yelling at this little girl to leave when she just wants to say goodbye to her mother, you disgust me." He sure told her off. She walks away after that.

"I'm glad someone finally said something to her," my mom chimes in, "she's a real bitch," I stared at her blankly, I haven't heard her curse in my entire life, this is new. I just decide to laugh nervously. It's now 2:28 so we decide to leave.

"Mama, we have to leave now I'll see you later, bye," I smile.

"Bye Honey! I love you! Remember, I always will!" This is the second time she's said that.

"I love you too," I smile again.

When we get downstairs it is 2:29, she glares at us.

"Ha. We're a minute early," my aunt says glaring back at her. We walk out the door and get into the car. Anyways, I have a lead. My mom told me where she hides her current diary. I know it's not gonna be at home for a while, but I still know it's her current one and I know where she hides it. I have some work to do.