Before Killing Was Cool ➊ FRERARD

31: Small Miracle

C h a p t e r | T h i r t y - O n e

Present Day - Mikey

Mikey's miracle is getting out of bed and dragging himself to the police station yet again one morning. His coffee is black and any signs of morning enthusiasm are vacant. He can't remember the last time he smiled.

This is the day he says goodbye to Alicia. This is the day he faces what's been holding him back for a year and a half, much to his dismay. It's been a couple of weeks since he talked to his therapist about it and now the day has come - the farewells and then, a flight that goes far away from here. He can't wait but it's going to be bittersweet.

He takes the bus, eager to get away from his home where cardboard boxes lie collecting dust by the furniture. His dad is moving to New York tomorrow. Mikey is pretty sure there will be no goodbyes exchanged between them.

Alicia sighs when she sees him arrive looking like the walking dead, "God only knows why you keep coming here."

"It's one more time. Sorry if I'm bothering you." He hasn't implemented his plan to tell her that he's leaving yet. This will be completely unexpected and he's anxious to hear her reaction.

"Of course you're not bothering me," she says politely, "what's up?"

Mikey shrugs and sets his coffee down on her desk in the office, shutting the door behind him. "Maybe I wanted to tell you something."

"Lay it on me."

He looks up at her, judging the way she smiles - not sympathetically but invitingly - and the way her eyes tell him that everything will work out.

She's always had that look. Even through the tears and anger and horror, she has kept her promise from day one: that she would help him. This is why he can always trust her, and why he's starting to realise that coming here for the reason he has today is actually a good idea.

"I want to see the tape." He decides.

Alicia's smile falters and she sighs out, "Mikey—"

"Don't. Just—" He resists the urge to slam his hand against the desk. He's in a bad mood and it shouldn't be aggravated. "Damn it, Alicia, I couldn't watch him die. I closed my eyes when it happened, and I've been avoiding every news channel since. I never talk about him as being... being dead. Because that's what he is and I need to believe that. I just need this closure, knowing exactly how it happened, then I swear if I can help it that I'll never set foot in this place again."

She blows out a breath and fiddles with the paperwork on her desk before reluctantly answering the distressed boy in front of her. "You're probably old enough now. Seventeen soon, right?"

He nods curtly. She knows it makes no difference. She asks sternly, "Are you sure you're ready for this?"

Mikey scrapes a hand through his recently bleached hair, catching a few loose strands in the process. "Show me."

So she does. It's hidden in her top drawer because nobody has a need for it anymore but she wanted to hold on to it, in case a situation like this ever occurred. She slots it into the VCR, angling the screen so Mikey can see, and presses play.

The camera is positioned in a distant corner of the cafeteria and focuses on a horrifically familiar scene. Students cower under tables and knocked over chairs, a few of them already dead and lying in their own blood, with the exception of the monster who caused all of this, Frank Iero, and a younger Mikey who is pressed against a table, shaking in fear and facing the barrel of a shotgun.