Before Killing Was Cool ➊ FRERARD

17: Give Him An Ultimatum Or A Black Eye

C h a p t e r | S e v e n t e e n

Present Day - Frank

I must've fallen asleep some time between Gerard's confession and Ray and Bob's return because when I wake up, I hear them all talking - arguing - in the living room past the open doors.

My groggy brain pulls me from my dreams and focuses in on what they're yelling about. I swing my legs over the side of the bed and draw back the curtains, letting the sun's natural light shrink my pupils. I hunt for my clothes as I listen in.

"... Come home and find you prancing around in nothing but his shirt so how do you expect me to react? Face it, kid, you've gone off the deep end!" Ray shouts.

"I don't care what you think, Ray, and don't call me kid when you're the same age as me! I don't expect you to understand but even if it's twisted and wrong and makes you sick to your stomach, and despite that he kidnapped and hurt me, I can't help but love him."

Jesus. I've really destroyed Gerard's life, taken everything from him including his hatred for me. That was the one thing he was clinging onto for so long, his desire to loathe me for everything I've done because he was right, it's irredeemable. Yet here we are, and he's lost his fight.

It feels like I'm still dreaming because Gerard Way is really in love with me. I can't blame Ray for not understanding it because neither do I - how could my Gerard care for a monster?

My Gerard.

I make myself sick thinking like this but I can't help it. I will take every ounce of happiness I can get, suck dry the bones of redemption. I want it. It's within my reach.

"Of course you can't help it." Bob's voice is softer and more worried rather than furious. "But we see the marks on your wrists and neck. Gerard, can you tell me if he forced himself on you?"

I'm sick of listening to this bull. I pull on my clothes aside from my shirt which Gerard is apparently wearing and storm straight into the middle of their conversation as he's screaming, "No! I initiated it! He said he'd never do that and I believe him."

"I bet he said he'd never hurt you either, before he tried to drown you," Ray bites back, sending a pointed glare my way.

Since when did everyone turn against me? Are they really surprised the kid has spent six months in my company, taken away forcefully from the world and everything he ever held dear - and didn't seek out love in every turn, just to feel alive again? It's human nature to want compassion as I've tried to show him despite all the wrongdoings. Ray can shut his goddamn mouth.

"Why don't you stay out of it?" I snarl at him and Bob.

"I should've put some rules up from day one." Ray shakes his head. "While you're living under my roof, Frank, you don't lay a finger on Gerard."

Like he can stop me! I could kill him in his sleep if I so desired. He's lucky he's my friend and I can forgive him for being so overdramatic and butting into my private business. But he's got a point - I don't want to 'lay a finger' on Gerard in a way meant to harm him.

"Obviously—" I start with a defiant roll of my eyes but he cuts me off.

"I don't just mean physical abuse. I mean anything sexual, a kiss, a hug, whatever." He elaborates sternly.

"What?" Gerard and I yell simultaneously. I need a cigarette.

My fingers twitch as I think about reaching for a frying pan to whack him over the skull with. Smoking is better for you than needless beatings.