Before Killing Was Cool ➊ FRERARD

29: Don't Trust A Dead Man

C h a p t e r | T w e n t y - N i n e

In The Past

Gerard swings his backpack over his shoulder, confident as the new kid on the block. They've recently moved house right into Belleville, a quiet suburban neighbourhood a bus journey away from most important shops and businesses. It's a change from the city. Maybe this is where he gets a fresh start, beginning middle-school, perhaps making some friends and forgetting about the less-than-perfect home life that surrounds his family.

The eleven-year-old hops onto the bus, glad to be away from his brother this academic year. Mikey can look out for himself and soon enough they'll be older, and can hang out. For now, he wants the independence that comes with turning a new leaf - nobody dragging him down, nothing from his past arising to bite him. He sits at one of the front seats since the back is all occupied, next to a short kid wearing a hat.

"Is it your first day too?" Gerard mumbles to the boy who has his nose stuck in a book he doesn't recognise.

"Yep but it's my second year of middle-school," says the stranger with an anxious sigh as he shuts the book to talk to Gerard. He probably can't concentrate on the chapter now that he's got company. "I'm Patrick Stump."

"Gerard Way. We moved from out of town." He notices Patrick's reading something called 'New Moon' and he has a bookmark with a police car on it. "What's it like here?"

"Kinda sucky. The teachers are nice, especially in music class." Patrick doesn't have much else to add to the matter but he frowns as if remembering something important. "I guess you don't know that usually people stay away from me."

"Why?" Gerard can't imagine why someone as nice at first impressions as Patrick would repel any of the other kids. He seems perfectly harmless and a sweetheart. Gerard can even imagine becoming friends with him, and on his lucky first day too.

Patrick pushes a pair of thick-rimmed glasses further up his nose and says, "My parents are 'Bible freaks'. Or they were until my mom died last Fall, and now it's just my dad. He's hardcore into going to Church like, every day."

"I'm sorry about your mom," says Gerard while he gnaws on his lip, sympathetic but also hoping he won't have to bring up his own disaster of a family, "do you not like going to Church?"

"I don't believe in any of that stuff but don't tell my dad," mumbles Patrick shamefully. It must be a sin in his family to even talk about stuff like this so openly with strangers. Gerard, a non-believer, considers how to comfort the boy.

"Maybe your dad likes Church so much because it makes him feel closer to your mom. Like, if there is a heaven then I'm sure she would be there." It's only natural to grieve the people you've loved and lost, and it must be a difficult time for Patrick and his father still. It was only last Fall that it happened so it'll be fresh in their minds. Everyone deals with it differently and perhaps his dad is only looking to the God he believes in for guidance.

"Dad said people who kill themselves go to hell," Patrick states matter-of-factly.

Gerard resists the urge to cringe. This poor boy - what he must think of his mother, who for all they know could be anywhere or nowhere at all. "But wasn't your mom a good person? I bet she was and she wouldn't deserve to go to hell. Maybe she's an angel and she's watching over you."