Remember for the Both of Us [COMPLETED]

17: Never So Cruel

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

The slowly dripping tears turned into great shuddering sobs. I just sat there, staring numbly at the empty doorway, sobbing my heart out. Not even wiping the tears from my face. 

He had never been like this. So angry. There had always been a smile on his face, always a joke and an encouraging word. He'd never been... so cruel.

"Newt," I whispered. "Why can't... why can't we go back t-to the way things w-w-were?"

I buried my face in the pillow, as my last memory of him--the real him--flashed unbidden before my eyes.

I had my back pressed up against the cold metal wall, watching the dimmed lights. Only a few more minutes until curfew, and then--

Where was he? What if I never got to say goodbye?

He turns the corner, pausing as he saw me there. I stand up in front of him awkwardly, barely able to make eye contact.

"You knew, huh?"

I nod, tears bright in my eyes. "You're not coming in, are you?"

I nod again. "Not unless the Ending fails."

He sighs, a quick burst of air, stuffing his hands in his pockets and looking up at the ceiling. When he looks down again, I see shiny tears in his eyes too. "So this is goodbye."

"Newt--"

He takes my hands in his. "Shh. Don't. Don't say it. Don't say anything, really." He pulls me into a hug, and that's when I start crying, squeezing him tightly.

"Newt--" I try again.

"I promise," he breathes, "to always remember you. Even if I can't remember your name, or your face, or the way you laugh, I will remember how you made me feel in here." He puts my hand over his heart, which thumps loudly in his chest.

"You were my only friend," I choke out. "What am I supposed to without you?"

"Remember," he says as the curfew bell rang. "Remember for the both of us. Please."

He smiles at me, one last, beautiful time. Leaning forward, he plants a soft kiss on my forehead. I close my eyes, memorizing the moment--his smell, his thin fingers gently wrapping around mine, how his warm lips press against my skin. He whispers one last thing into my ear, then is gone.

I stumble backwards, back pressing against the wall. It's hard to breathe, and I'm weak without his arms supporting me.

I bury my head in my hands, hearing his last words echo in my head over and over and over again, and all I can do is cry.

Jerking back to the present, I stood, heart aching in my chest. I slipped out of the Homestead, hiding in the Deadheads. Eventually the Grievers came streaming out of the Doors, and the screams began. I ran with reckless abandon, heading for the Maze. I glanced back behind me for a moment, hearing cries and yells behind me, but distantly, oh-so-far away. 

I plunge into the long passageways, thinking of the last words of the only friend I ever had. 

"I love you, Lynn."