Just Another Face in the Crowd

Wu Yifan

------this chapter is more like a diary entry of sorts. I may come back through here in the morning and rewrite some of it-------

Wu Yifan.

My name’s Yifan. But everyone calls me Kris. I’m a senior in high school, and the star player on the school’s basketball team. Girls follow me around all day at school; some have even gone as far as following me home. I could have any girl, but the one I want is so far out of my reach. She always will be.

            At school I’m the popular kid who likes only the things that are in style. But at home, I don’t like any of those things. I spend my time on the internet, looking up videos and pictures of her. I spend all of my time, when I’m not working on homework, obsessing over her. Yes, obsessing. I can admit to that (…in my head, but never aloud). She is perfection. She is beautiful. She has many talents. And even though I’ll never know her personally, I am in love with her.

            I have all of her songs on my iPhone. I listen to her before all of my games. When one of the team members asks what I’m listening to, I quickly change it to something else. I always feel a strange feeling after I do that, but I can’t quite place my finger on what it is. I don’t know why I hide this from everyone. What am I so scared of? Not being popular? Actually, yes… Everyone said being popular is what matters, and I fell for their words.  Popularity is what keeps me from proudly liking what I want.

            Someone was bound to find out someday. One day, after practice, I couldn’t find my phone. I looked everywhere for it before I saw it in the hands of one of my teammates. I rushed over and tried to pry it out of his hands. He just moved it out of my reach and continued trying to unlock it. He asked why there was a foreign girl’s picture as my wallpaper. I stayed silent, intent on getting my phone away from him. He managed to figure out my passcode and the first thing he went to was my photo album. He scrolled through all of the pictures of her. He asked who she was and why I had so many pictures of her. My brain tried to come up with excuses, but it couldn’t. I stood there frozen and silent. After a moment, I answered with who she was.

            The rest of the day went by terribly. Practice after school was the absolute worst though. By the time school had ended, everyone on the team had found out. They mocked me the whole time. I spent practice praying that it would hurry up so I could go home. When I was home, I sat on my bed with my back against the wall at the head of the bed. I placed my laptop on my lap and looked up any recent videos of her. I found one that was of an interview that was subbed. One of the questions she was asked was, “Have you ever been bullied?” She answered, saying that she had been picked on quite a lot because of her different tastes in music and her big dreams. She was bullied for idolizing someone that she had never thought she would meet. She was ridiculed for loving someone.

            I felt upset that she had been bullied, but I felt better after realizing how happy she was now. Then her words hit me. I suddenly knew that I couldn’t let the others get me down. If she made it through bullying, then I could make it through something small like this. If she could do something, I felt like I could too. She inspired me. So the next day, when I went to school and everyone made their comments, I just brushed it off. I felt better because of her. I was happy because of her.

            I feel like I can do anything. I feel like I actually have a chance of seeing her someday. I could possibly meet her. I feel hopeful.