Trouble Times 4 {On Hold, Again. Sorry.}

"A 'Small' Slip Up." ~ Chapter 18

*!!WARNING!! WARNING!! TRIGGERING!! READ AT OWN RISK!! TRIGGERING!! WARNING!! WARNING!!*

Mason's p.o.v.

After I got home, I ran up to Xavier and my room and straight into the bathroom that was attached to it. Then I kicked the door shut. In one of the small cabinets, we put the razors. I wasted no time in breaking a razor, watching the small plastic shards fly, and slide on the ground. Tears welled in my eyes again. I took the small, silver, sharp object in my hand. I bit my lip as I just held it and looked at it, looking at the same shine, same texture, same sharp side, same dull side. The same as it always is. It's been about a year since I last did this. I promised Alexis I wouldn't do this ever again...but this is an exception, right? I looked at my arm, the previous scars faded, but in certain light, they would show in an instant. I placed the blade to my skin and just like that, pulled it across. Fuck! I forgot how much it can hurt! I hissed loudly at the pain. Just like any pain brought upon me, tears slipped from my eyes. It wasn't the physical pain that hurt that much. Sure, it stung, but it was the emotional pain that got to me. The scenes playing back in my head again. "How could I have been so stupid!" I whispered to myself. Without another thought, I slid it across my skin, the deep red liquid fell from my wrist to the floor, leaving a dark red, brownish stain on my arm. I cried more and continued the process.

*slit*

"Idiot."

*slit*

"Unlovable."

*slit*

"Fuck up."

*slit*

"Worthless."

My tears mixed with the blood that began to dry on the tile floor. I kept crying, waiting for my pain to be relieved, but it wasn't getting any better, so I did it some more.

*slit*

"Faggot."

*slit*

"Freak."

*slit*

Before I could make another mark, there was a knock on the door. "Mase, you in there?"

I bit my lip before cleared my throat and answering. "Yes."

"Are you okay?" Ashley asked.

"Yes, I'm fine."

"Okay. Well, dinners downstairs, finish up and come down, please." He said.

"Okay, I will." I responded and then heard him walk away from the door. The blood coldly dripped down my arm and onto the tile floor. I sighed and made one more small mark. Except, this one went a bit too far. I hissed loudly at the sting that followed as the blood reached the surface and poured to the floor. I put the blade down and rinsed a small towel in the water and cleaned up my arm. I winced as the cloth touched my open wounds, but let the towel absorb the blood. When the bleeding slowed down. I grabbed something to wrap it and wrapped my wrist and arm up with gauze. Not too tight that it cuts off my circulation, but tight enough to close the woulds and then turn then into more scars. I grabbed another towel and cleaned up the floor so no blood was left. I grabbed the blade and hid it where only I'd know where it was aling with thr blood-filled towels. I then picked up the shards of plastic from the razor and threw them away.