Me, My Teacher and Lies

Another new day another trial. It’s the first day back at school after summer break and to be honest right now I’m really happy, my home life isn’t exactly easy - not that anyone’s is... and now I feel guilty as per usual.

I’m so excited to get started again, I always feel like it’s a fresh start and it’s like a breath of fresh air, a clean slate, everything bad has been wiped away. I even woke up before my alarm this morning because of my anticipation.

I lay down in my bed staring at the damn alarm to tick quicker so I can get out of here. The clock read six fifty two and I did some quick calculations in my head to figure out how long I had to do everything I needed to which, wasn’t a lot because I couldn’t stop myself from packing my bag and then repacking it like five times making sure I have everything like a little kid, but I just wanted to feel like I was on top of things before it all gets on top of me again like it always does in the end, like everything does.

That thought was like a spark in my mind. I shot out of bed unable to stop myself from playing my I-POD in it’s docking station, I put it on low but there’s no point I won’t wake anyone up because, Dad’s away on business again and Mom, well Mom’s probably still in an alcohol induced stupor in her room on the other side of this ridiculously huge house while Freddie, well he’s going to have to get up soon anyway.

I need to feed him before the nanny gets here so she doesn’t have to deal with him, he’s such a crank in the morning but he’s still a sweetie. I bobbed my head to 1996 by the Wombats opening up my wardrobe to pull out a pair of light skinny jeans, a plain white T, black converse sneakers and my brown leather jacket. Why the jacket when it’s still relatively warm in September you ask? Because it’s freakin early, so early that I’d make it in good time if I walked to school so why the hell not? This house is starting to suffocate me.

I gave myself a quick glance in the mirror and nearly fainted seeing immediately that I hadn’t put my face on and I mean it, ok not literally I have a face, but because I don’t really sleep I had to get crazy good at make up, so good then when I don’t wear any it’s like where’s you’re face Claire? I took my time in my bathroom applying foundation and blush, mascara and eyeliner enough to hide the near constant purple rings under my eyes making them big and bright - my eyes not the rings thanks to some highlighter that Jenny told me about last year.

When I was done I left my room with my jacket over my arm jogging a little down the hall and peaking my head around the third door to the end. It was still a little dark because it was so early but I could make out the little blob in the bed that’s way too big for it huddled in a ton of blankets. I walked over to my little brother’s bed and pulled the covers off his tiny body to expose a cherub face, all pink and round with youth, the innocence radiating out of him was almost too much, I just wanted to hide him from the world before they could steal it from him.

“Freddie... Freddster, wake up little man” his eyelids twitched a little but he didn’t seem any more responsive and knowing my little brother like I do its best taking time to gently wake him than dragging him out of bed half asleep, it’s usually the difference between a little boy who lives up to the angel he looks or a little boy who killed the angel and stole his face so I sat on the edge of his bed to try again. “Freddie, it’s time to get up kiddo” I murmured stroking his brown curls from his face which was hard since they were kind of stuck to his there with sweat. “I’ll make breakfast” I said in a sing song voice.

“What kind”? He grumbled, hehe my evil plan is working mwhahaha, ok no need to get crazy now Claire.

“What would you like”?

“... pancakes the smiley ones you make”.

“I guess I could do that” I smiled “if you get out of bed” he thought about it for a minute and raised his arms to me.