3 months ago I would have thought I wouldn't be alive right now. I have amazing friends and an amazing sister always by my side. But I still felt lost, hopeless, helpless.But then something insane happened, I started talking to an old friend on January 12th I messaged him on Instagram because I saw him the Saturday before. That saterday I saw him all our memories flashed through my head and I realized how much I still missed him, even after 3 years. When I messaged him I didn't think things would end up the way they did. I had just found out I was moving back to my old town, and for some reason the first person I wanted to tell was him. After I messaged him We talked everyday and I fell in love with him AGAIN, I guess that was a mistake. I was finally happy! He made me ok. And for some reason I was stupid and took it for granted. He promised me he was going to be here for me forever, but forever is a long time. I broke his trust I messed up. He was my everything, but I made mistakes I can never undo. I understand why he's mad, and I don't blame him. I understand why he left. He had a good reason, but I never thought it would hurt this much. I knew I loved him and he made me better. I always said I NEEDED him but now that he's gone I realize I really do need him. I realize I made a mistake. And I hope to god one day he can forgive me what what I did, and anything I might do without him in my life now. It's hurts seeing him so happy without me. This isn't even affecting him but it's killing me. I'm glad he's happy tho he deserves the best. I hope everything he wants in life really happens for him. Because not matter what I'll love him, but hopefully one day saying his name won't feel like stepping on broken glass.
