Goodbye Caleb

Fine. How could they ever believe i'm fine.

It's been a few days since I had the terrible news. 2 days and 7 hours to be specific. I still hadn't calmed down. Or atleast, not on the inside. That early morning when I had gotten the news, my mind wasn't clear, everything was so messy. I didn't know what to do. At 6am Emily took me to her home where we all spent the night. No one knew what was coming and everyone was a mix of sadness and madness, we were all confused. I hadn't done anything in those two days besides sleeping, crying and sleeping again. All my friends had stopped by to check on me and I pretended to be fine as much as I could. Fine. How could they ever believe i'm fine.
I'm still in the same clothes as the night of the accident, my mascara is all over my face. My hair is constantly wet of tears and my eyes have turned a deep shade of red. All my friends had tried to feed me and wanted to help me change my clothes. I couldn't do anything but cry once I saw their sad, broken, tired faces. Everytime someone came over, we ended up crying for hours. They still thought i was doing okay. Because I told them i was going to be fine one day, I just needed time. Which maybe wasn't even a lie, right? Well it was in my case, i just know that I lost the love of my li.. No I mean my first love. He wasn't with me. We broke up five years ago. He was totally over me when we both came back to Rosewood three months ago. Or atleast, that's what I had been thinking the whole time, just untill the day of the accident. I remember what happened that day and smile slightly.
My doorbell rings.
"It's open!" I yell with a cracking voice.
I hear the door open and I recognize Alisons footsteps on the stairs.
She comes into my room and hugs me. Even though her and Caleb never really got along, she's been here for me 24/7.
Her eyes tear up when she looks at me.
"Oh babe" she says in pity.
"It's fine." I say softly not wanting to burst into tears all over again.
"I came by because I ,eh, I went to Spencers barn." She tells me.
"And I just wanted to bring you this."
She hands me a pile of clothes.

Alison had brought a few pieces of clothing Caleb used to wear a lot when we were dating. I put on his grey sweater, but Alison stops me.
"Hey han, maybe you should shower first and put on some clean clothes?" She suggests nicely.
I sigh. I didn't want to, but I was starting to smell myself.
"Okay."
"Great." She smiles and kisses me on my head.

I get into the shower. My shower is a shower and a bathtub in one. I close the curtain and turn the water a little warmer.
As I look around I get flashbacks of my first shower, with caleb. And our second and all the other ones that had followed.
My heart breaks again. I glide down the wall so I'm sitting down. I bury my face in my hands as I feel the hot water of the shower mixing with my tears.