Everything is different (Aldub fanfic)

Chapter 6: Back to Square One

[flashback: Note this is in first person P.O.V]

Sunday.
I sat there hugging my legs, trying to stop the tears from falling but they didn't seem to listen. I buried my head deeper towards my chest, if anyone found out I was this... emotional.... I wouldn't forgive myself. Yep, that was me... always hiding my feelings, placing them in a jar and burying it so that no one could ever find it. Sometimes, though very rarely, the jar would get so full it would crack from the pressure and everything would just ooze out between the cracks.

This just was one of those days.
How is it that one day life is so orderly and your content, a little cynical perhaps but on the whole just so, and then without warning you find that the solid floor is a trapdoor and you are now in another place whose geography is uncertain and whose customs are strange? Travelers at least have a choice. Those who set sail know that things will not be the same as at home. Explorers are prepared. But for me, who travel by chance, there is no preparation.

I rose my head just enough to peek at my surroundings. I was at a sea shore, sitting on a boulder that laid on the shore line. Scanning the area, my eyes stopped on a flower that was running along the crevice of the rock. Though the upbringing was harsh, it still grew to perfection. I glared at it, it's not fair, it's not right and so I crushed it with my fist.

I hated that flower.

I didn't know what hate felt like, not the hate that comes after love. It's huge and desperate and it longs to be proved wrong. And every day it's proved right it grows a little more monstrous. If the love was passion, the hate will be obsession.

Yes, I ran away, far away from my home and family. I swore to myself I wouldn't come back. I wanted to be alone, forever.. if time let me. Honestly, I'm scared to face them knowing that they wouldn't look at me the same way. The news, that dreaded news. Funny how one word could destroy your entire life. People who say words are meaningless- are stupid, they don't know how powerful they are. Words, that could shake mountains, rip dynasties, and destroy everything in its path. That one word uttered by one man, shook my life and turned it upside down.

I felt like I was already set up to lose in the beginning, as if a bomb were already hijacked into myself before I was born only to set loose in the right time. I felt like I was on free fall, just waiting until I would hear the sound of my body hitting the ground. Really, there was no reason for me to live anyways, I was already dead to begin with.

Hearing footsteps I turned around to the source of the sound. It was an unfamiliar face, a boy, gentle-looking, content, all smiles.

He looked like he was about the same age as me. At first I was shocked that someone would even approach me, my character usually scares people away.

"Yes?" I spat coldly before rubbing my tears away with the hem of my jacket

"I was just walking by and I saw you" he said with a worried look "I'm just wondering okay ka lang ba?"

"Yes I'm fine, please leave"

"Are you sure? Cause it looks like your having a major breakdown right now"

"To be ill adjusted to a cruel world is not a breakdown, okay!?!" I quickly asserted

He just shrugged before sitting down beside me.

"Are you stupid? I told you I want to be alo-"

He cut me off staring at the horizon "I never knew you could see the stars at this time"

'Yes, stupid' I thought to myself before turning my head away from him'Just ignore him, and he'll eventually go away'

"It looks like God was playing jacks when creating the stars" he continued, laughing to his self.