September 1, 2013

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September 1, 2013

Dear Charlie,

    The thing they don't tell you about birthdays is that on the actual day you won't feel any older. Age comes from doing things that make you feel older. Not from waiting for a day to come once a year to tell you that you are. And for me today was that day.

    14 sounds a whole lot older than 13. I don't know why it does, but I see it much older in my head. Today did not give me the feeling of a 14 year old but I logically know that I am. I wish it were the other way around. I'd take any feeling over a fact.

    I saw the movie "The Way Way Back" with some friends. It made me cry. Like really hard. And I wouldnt stop crying when it was over. I just wanted to stay there forever because, it had been a long time since I felt something like this. And my tears undestood.

    The last time I cried in front of people was last spring. My friend Julia and my other friend Ian had told me to tell them my life story. We were at school and it was 10pm and we were helping out with drama set painting. I don't know why it was then that I broke down but I was hit with such an uncomfortable knot in my throat and it was like I hit a lump in the road. A lump that was only there for me. And that hurt. This same day was the day that my friend Fred had done something terribly sad.

    Anyways, I got the greatest present today. It was a mixtape from my friend Isabel. The song asleep was the first song on it. Its been on repeat this whole time while I've been writing this to you. I love you.

Love always, Alia

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