The Perks of Being a Fan of the Perks of Being a Wallflower

December 23, 2013

December 23, 2013

Dear Charlie,

    Finals are over, and today is the first official day of winter break. Which actually means I can now say that I'll be bored at home for a solid three weeks. Whoopee.

    First semester is finally over and I think I have straight A's. But grades were never a problem for me. I'm one of those kids that will freak out if they lose a worksheet or something, rather than the one that just "forgets about it". And sometimes I wonder what makes me care so much about school anyways because my parents are really layed back when it comes to report cards. But I think it's because it makes my dad really happy when he sees that I'm doing well in my classes since he was never a roll model student. And I'm kind of a sucker when it comes to other peoples' happiness.

    Even though this semester may have been easy grades wise, my social life kind of took a ride down a slippery, rocky, ski slope in the middle of a blizzard of emotions. And by that I mean, I lost a lot of people for stupid reasons because I couldn't see clearly through all the mess.

    But on the bright side my math teacher is an awesome friend. To almost everyone. And he always seems to have an open door policy.

    And I know I started off hating that class because there were way to many people and I sat in the back and I didn't know anyone but now it's a lot better. And the people aren't to shabby after all.

   However, on Friday at school while I was getting ready to leave, this boy approached my table. And I knew enough to know that his name was Brian and that he was kind of intimidating to people of my small stature, but I somehow managed a smile even though my brain was sending me danger alert signals. But my smile, was rudely knocked off when he asked "Why do you and your friends think you're better than me?"

    And I was actually really shocked because my friends and I are weird and occasionally funny and accepting of almost everyone. Even the girls cooler than us.

  But then I realized that over this semester we had all changed. New people joined the group and suddenly not just anybody could talk to us. We had made enemies, and hated certain people. We talked a lot of shit but when people did the same about us we felt like we were the ones that had the right to beat them up with a piece of our mind. And we didn't even stop to realize how much of our mind we had lost.

    I get it now. What he was talking about. Which is probably why I blushed of embarrassment after he said that. And it's not like I was the villain that had purposely tried to make him feel that way but I felt like I was wrong because I knew exactly what he was talking about.

   And I was so ashamed.

Love always, Alia