November 11, 2013
Dear Charlie,
I've noticed a trend in my life. I'm always left to choose a side. There has never been a moment in my life when I've gotten the best of both worlds. There's always a person that wants all of me. All the time. And this is sad. Choosing someone over someone else is not right. It's inconsiderate of a heart. And I think we should all spend some time thinking things through before we really hurt someone.
I've always been thought of as the glue that holds my friends together but since Julia left and high school started and Fred needed help and I got sick, I stopped holding us together because I needed to put myself back first. And piece by piece I started to realize how much of a problem we all have with each other now. Some of us even have problems with ourselves. And even though we all call each other "friends" we gossip about one another in private and I'm getting tired of hearing it.
A part of me just wants to let it go. Water down the glue and let all of us drift away. High school has already started to change us and maybe it's not my problem. But I always go back to remembering the good days when these people were the reason for my happiness. And it's sad to think now that we're seperating, bullying, falling in love, making mistakes and running away.
I want to help but I don't know what to say anymore to all of them. So I keep to myself. Tend to my wounds. And try to stay remotely happy on my own because I have to keep moving on.
So I'm sorry to Ian, who I cried with last year and promised to not let go back to drugs. And I'm sorry to the girls who were in drama with me in middle school that now start drama on their on. And I'm sorry to the friends that went to different high schools and are having to change there in order to fit in. And I'm so sorry to Fred that has to keep living life with a haunting regret and untrue rumors. There is nothing I can do anymore to hold us together. And I apologize.
Change
I will alter your heart
And modify your ways
I will tear you apart
And worsen your days
Follow me
just like your friends
And I can make
all your happiness end
Love always, Alia
YOU ARE READING
The Perks of Being a Fan of the Perks of Being a Wallflower
Ficção AdolescenteDear readers, Charlie's life is beautifully parallel to mine. I write letters throughout my freshman year about finding myself, making new friends, and being a wallflower. These letters are about actual events that take place in my 9th grade year bu...
