In Death We Shall Cry For You

The Love Of My Life

Gee was, by far, the most awkwardest girl around. Her hair, naturally brown, was now a bold red after a stupid decision that had mainly been done by her obnoxious younger brother, Mikey, and her clothes were always too baggy on her body. She just felt uncomfortable; like she was never good enough in anyone's eyes. She couldn't live a normal life when her friends say she's cute, but in her mind says she's ugly.

And all the giggles and constant stares at school had always made her uncomfortable, but now its worse. She's forever terrified, terrified of the bullying, the heartache, the unknown. She just wants to be a normal girl - one that can wear a fucking skirt and feel good about her body.

But fucking hell she cannot when she's constantly debating her gender identity in Biology, and then the teacher asks her a question and she just stammers before looking away, question unanswered.

And her crush sat on the other bench, sandwiched between Pat and Brenda, looked on kindly, her eyes soft and round, something Gee draws at midnight every day.

Frankie.

The bane of her life.

But Pat knows about this all, how Gee can't help but blush when Frankie talks to her, especially when its a non uniform day and Frankie turns up in all her emo glory, the beautiful black skirt startling against her white as paper thighs.

Gee can't help but wear a pair of once black jeans that are now a dark grey due to months of constant wear, and a baggy top that's two sizes too big - the perfect way to hide her waist and hips and boobs.

The things that portray her femininity.

Because Gee just wants to be a boy. A boy with a dick, a dick to make her feel better, better than boobs and a vagina.

Like what the fuck do you do with a vagina, seriously?

What can you do with a dick?

Lots of things; things Gee wanted so badly, but felt too awkward to voice to anyone.

So she wrote it all down in a notebook. One that was sky blue in cover, and inside written in black looped writing, the same writing that was in every single school book that were alone in her locker.

----

I just want to wake up one day, any day, and have no hips that jut out. No boobs that need a bra just to look 'decent' and no need to shave.

Why should I shave if I feel like a guy? Want to be a guy?

.... am a guy?

----

Frankie Iero had a secret, one that no one besides her best friend Ryan knows about, one that's to do with how she only started at her school, an all girls private school, in their fourth year.

A secret to do with her birth certificate. The thing that said "male" instead of "female".

Because Frankie wasn't really a girl, no she was born with a dick between her legs and no real chest.

Thank god she can just wear a small sports bra, size A cup, and just stuff it, and just say to everyone that, "not everyone has big tits, ya know?".

The catchphrase in her first PE lesson, the one where the awkward girl, with the now dyed red hair, had stood and watched her short stature, her slight curvy hips, her slightly nipped in waist, her lack of a chest.