thursday 21st april 2007
I'm sorry I didn't finish earlier.
When I was writing that, dad came into my room. He was drunk. Hell, he was past drunk.
Zach came running after him, banging furiously on the door. Dad had locked the door and was walking towards my spot on the bed. I had to throw my book behind the pillow, which is why there's an ink stain on the last page.
I don't even know if you'll believe me but I'm going to tell you anyway.
He... He was angry. Very angry. He was screaming that I'd ruined his and mom's life. That I was worthless, ugly, everything everyone believes and says.
Carol, I know you won't believe me but he hit me.
Over and over again, he hit me, until Zach burst into the room, Maddie and Diego behind him. Dad - if I can call him that anymore- had pulled me off the bed and was holding me against the wall by my throat.
Zach hit him in the head with an old shovel from the shed, Maddie crying while Diego phoned the police.
I sat in the corner of the room for a long time, sobbing and shaking. It's about two in the morning now and I've been texting Josh since midnight.
I still don't trust him that much but he's the only person I could tell. Zach's sat across from me. He's wavering between playing the Xbox and texting his friends.
Maddie cleaned the blood off me; it wasn't a lot, but it needed to be cleaned up. Diego went to the police station with Chris in handcuffs.
I'm seeing you tomorrow- or, today, since it's early hours of Thursday. I know you're probably reading this right now.
Hey, Carol.
You'll give me a sympathetic look. Hand me some more medicine, maybe call up the social services. But don't worry; Zach's old enough to look after us.
Carol, I don't know what to do. Josh is coming over tomorrow, as I don't have therapy. I've never had anyone in my house before - girl or boy. What if he hates me? What if he hates my house? What if he
Zach told me to stop writing that. He said he'd love me and the house.
It sounded weird when he said Josh would 'love' me. I've never had anyone love me other than my family, and they have to put up with me. What's the meaning of 'love', anyway? It's not like he'd ever find anything interesting about me.
Me and my crazy hair, but then again, it's him and his crazy hair, too.
When you're reading this, please give me advice. I don't know what to do.
~ Ty (that's what Josh calls me)
