who would have thought I'd be here now, writing another one.
i used to write them all the time, simply ripping them up because i was too much of a wimp to actually do it. writing then made me feel better, it gave me reassurance that if the worst happened, my family would have at least something.
well, here goes nothing.
i'm going to start off with Zach.
Zach, you are the oldest and, though you teased me endlessly, I love you so, so, so much. You've put up with us since we were kids - you were a kid yourself - and you've looked after us after what happened with dad. I know I didn't like your girlfriend but she made you happy, so I stuck it out. Take care of Maddie and Jay for me - they need you.
Maddie, you were always the one to clean my wounds and kiss me goodnight, though you were younger. You appreciated me, and for that I cannot thank you enough. And, Diego, if you're reading this, thanks to you too. Take care of her for me.
Jay, you're too young to understand what's going on, but I know that you know I'm gone. I'm dead, I'm not coming back. I love you, so much, and I hope you haven't forgotten me by the time Zach lets you read this. Please don't forget your big brother, please. I love you, so much. Don't forget me.
And, my parents. I still love you. I shouldn't, but I do. I'm glad you're in prison, sure, but I can't push the memories of me and my siblings in the park, with you. I'll see you in Hell.
And last but not least; Josh.
What to say to you, huh?
You were the boy with the crazy hair and a contagious giggle. You approached the weird boy on the bench for no reason, you let me stay at your apartment. You gave me a friend.
Why did you have to ruin it? Why did you have to go get drunk, after my experience with drunks?! You let him slap me, Josh. I know you weren't thinking but he still did it.
I love you.
I'm not sure if I've ever told you that, but I'm telling you now, in paper, when I'm six feet underground. I loved you from the moment you sat next to me on the bench to the moment I'll be laying on the floor, unconscious, surrounded by pills.
I forgive you, just so you know. You can't stay mad at someone you love.
You'll probably go to Heaven, Josh. You're too pure for Hell.
(i've left you your own personal note)
So, this is goodbye. Please don't blame yourselves, please. I love you all, so much. I'll see you all soon.
~ Tyler Joseph.
