i had lettuce on my head
sunday 23rd april 2007
I've been with Josh everyday since we met in the park.
Dad's been moved to a mental hospital while we wait for his court sentence - turns out he was struggling with schizophrenia for seven years. Zach broke up with Samantha when he walked in on her threatening to throw my medicine away. Madison and Diego are happy, from what I can see.
But Josh is the person I could write an essay about.
I can't put into words how much a single person whom I've only known for about a week can have such a massive impact on my life. He makes the clouds brighter, the sun warmer. But most of all, he makes the voices in my head stop.
Instead of them screaming at me to stop eating or to walk over to the ledge, they tell me he cares. He always has cared and he always will care.
I sometimes catch him looking at me out of the corner of my eye. He has a habit of squinting his eyes slightly when looking at me, cocking his head to the side. Like he's studying me.
I haven't been back to school yet. Zach has been calling in sick for me so many times, school was actually worried.
Speaking of, Cole hasn't messaged me for a few days.
I'm leaning against Josh's shoulder whilst writing this. He's smiling softly, his cheek pressed against my hair. He likes to play with it when he's bored, twirling the strands between his fingers.
He has a spiderbite piercing in his lip and I've notched that he plays with it whenever he's nervous. He asked me to go for a drink with him later and he was flustered - very nervous, and I'm not sure why.
You're happy with me, Carol, that I'm making progress. I hope I can give you these tablets back.
I'm finally getting better, aren't I, Carol?
~ Ty
