a work of art [meanie]

Chapter 18

1282 words

When Wonwoo looks at Mingyu, pulling back, his smile fades. There's something weird about the expression on Mingyu's face, he doesn't really look like there's everything okay. Mingyu's eyes are round and his mouth is slightly hung open in confusion. He looks panicky.

Mingyu moves away from Wonwooslightly, remaining silent and weird, and Wonwoo starts getting scared. Did he do something wrong?

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that," Mingyu finally says, voice full of regret.

Wonwoo feels his heart sinking. The anxiety grows inside him slowly. What is going on?

"What? Why?" Wonwoo asks, confused.

"I just shouldn't have. I'm sorry Wonwoo."

There's a short silence as Wonwoo feels rush of mixed feelings flow inside him and so many thoughts run through his mind.

"But... What's wrong? I'm totally okay with what just happened," he asks carefully, observing anxious Mingyu.

Mingyu exhales shortly, letting his head drop down and speaks quietly: "I don't... I haven't... told anybody about this."

Wonwoo just stares at him, waiting for him to continue.

"About me liking both, boys and girls," Mingyu's whispers as if saying it aloud would be inappropriate.

"And although... although I really, really like you," Mingyu says and pauses to swallow, "we probably shouldn't start anything serious right now. I don't think I'd be able to."

Wonwoo nods and tries to hide his disappointment by smiling and rambling: "Okay. Yeah. Of course."

He understands Mingyu, he has been there before - scared of coming out, scared of everyone judging him, scared of people changing and starting to treat him differently - but still, he still can not help feeling sad about it. He has been dreaming and hoping for something like this to happen for so long - and when it finally happens, it all shatters down in front of him, disappearing and getting totally out of his reach. He just got a small sneak peek of what it would be - being in a relationship with Mingyu, being held by him, feeling specifically cared.

And he can't forget it.

_____

Despite the slight awkwardness - and Wonwoo's disappointment - the boys manage to carry on their evening as if they hadn't just made out passionately and kind of confessed their interest towards each other. Still, Wonwoo could swear that there's something different in the way Mingyu looks at him now after they're both sure they do have some sort of feelings towards each other. He tries to ignore it and not get his hopes up but it's hard, really hard, when Mingyu occasionally gets really close to him on the bed, or holds the eye contact a bit longer than usually, eyes glancing at Wonwoo's lips momentarily, thinking that Wonwoo wouldn't notice.