Keepers of Time

11. Try As I Might

This chapter is dedicated to one of my dear friends innamorare for her tremendous help on this chapter :) She honestly made this chapter 100% more amazing than it originally was!  She's an amazing author and urge you to go and read her stuff. It's all amazing and I read all her stories (: Thank you Anna for putting up with me today and adding all that tension! :D

Happy Reading everyone! (: 

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11. Try As I Might

Exhaustion washed over me as I watched the last rays of light vanish over the horizon and dusk settled, casting the garden in an amber glow.  The garden was where I went to when I needed to take my mind of off things.  I ignored Gabriel’s telepathic calls (as I liked to call them) for hours until he gave up entirely, and I didn’t hear him in my head any longer.  When a person focused all their thoughts into getting a hold of me and if the connection was strong enough then they could easily send a message, which I could interfere.  It was like having my own frequency and only a strong connection could get through to me.

Gabriel was the only one who had ever tried to communicate with me and succeeded.  It was no easy feat and I commended him for it, but at the moment I was not to keen on him trying to get a hold of me.  I wanted to be left alone, and didn’t need him to talk to me.  I already knew what he would say by the thoughts circulating in his mind.  I didn’t need to hear it from him as well.

The moon was beginning to rise; a giant orange oval on the horizon that vaguely reminded me of the sun as it cast its rays as dawn approached.  It always amazed me how the moon was orange when it first rose, and as it slowly crept up to the sky it turned silver-white, illuminating the world below.  I watched the moon steadily rise until it was high in the vast sky, surrounded by the infinite number of gleaming stars.

The universe was immeasurable.  There was no correct calculation of how much was out there in the world.  I believed that there were many unknown treasures that still needed to be discovered, waiting for the right person to come around and see it for what it is.  I wanted her to see me for who I was…

I shook my head as an effort to get rid of the thought.  But as much as I tried I couldn’t get away from the thought. 

She saw something in me, something that no other girl had.  I don’t know if it was the perception in her brilliant blue (sometimes green) eyes or the quirk of her mouth that had me spellbound like no other girl had ever done before.  Kimberly was different and it was why I needed to stay away from her.  I couldn’t screw it up and hurt her in the end.  She deserved better.  She deserved someone who could be there for her in ways that I know I could not provide. 

It was a promise I’d made to myself a long time ago.  I would not – under any circumstance – let myself fall in love with anyone.  Losing Mom still haunted Dad even though it had been nearly two decades since her death.  It was strange to see the grief in his eyes as it had swallowed him up, never letting him go from its tight hold enabling his life.  I always questioned the idea of Dad possibly finding someone else.  He was still young and could marry again if he wanted to, but he never made the effort to be with someone else like Gabriel.  Why didn’t they find someone else to love instead of being consumed by loss, deprived of the one thing they both needed – no, wanted?

That’s what I didn’t fully understand.  Was it hard to fall in love again after you’ve had the best?  What was so difficult about the bloody concept?  I thought love was easy but instead it was difficult and caused your brain to melt into mush.

“Ugh!”  I let out in a sigh of aggravation.  Standing up, I made my way back to the castle, hiding under the protection of the shadows.

It was time to stop wallowing in my own self pity and start putting it to good use.  I would take out my frustrations in the training room, rather than sit here and debate the trivial matters of women.