Grimes and Dixon

chapter 25: blue

*rayne's POV*

*3 months later*

I'm huge. I'm not even nine months along and I'm already huge. one of the nurses say I'm not that big but I've just been used to being so skinny my whole life that this is giant for me.

today we are going to the hilltop for our month of supplies from them and Ben is going to take me to see the doctor so I can have an ultrasound. which sounds crazy. in this world, your lucky you can turn on a light in some places, but an ultrasound. I thought they only did those in actual hospitals.

"you ready rayne?" I heard from behind the door. I opened it up. I only had shorts and a sports bra on. Ben came in and sat on the bed. I pulled on a pastel blue crop top on.
"I can't believe I actually convinced myself to wear a crop top" I said and looked at myself in the mirror. I turned to my side and ran my hand up and down my stomach. I felt so bloated and gross.

"I'm changing" I said and opened up my closet.
"no" Ben said and held my tummy. "don't let people think you are embarrassed by this. you shouldn't be. you have a fucking baby growing inside you. a literal child. your own" he said and rubbed the bump. I felt a lot better.
"thank you Ben" I said and hid in his chest and smiled and blushed.

Carl would be so mad at me right now. I often think about him and how life was at Alexandria. I still want to go home. I've told this to Ben everyday. I just want to go home and see my sister and Carl and my dad. he told me I couldn't though. the saviors are my home now, my family. but that will never change inside my head. I still love my family back at home. I'll never forget them, even though they've forgotten me.

why wouldn't they come looking for me by now? I've been gone for three fucking months. they should have started looking for me when I didn't come back home in those few hours. I started shaking. Ben felt it.

"rayne?" he asked "rayne, are you okay?" he put his arm around my waist and his hand on the back of my neck. usually I don't let people touch my neck at all but this time is an exception.
"they don't care" I sobbed "they should have come looking for me. I just want to go home Ben. I want to see my sister and my dad. I miss my family so fucking much but they don't care"
"we're your family now, rayne. we will always care" he said and made me look up to him. I stared into his perfect chocolate eyes with my dark blue ones. God he was beautiful. how could a boy be so perfect?

what am I thinking?! I love Carl. right? Carl is the boy I feel in love with.

but Carl never came to look for me. he probably didn't even love me back.

I felt Ben slowly starting to bring me closer to his face. he bent down and our lips were so close. but our eyes were still open. I closed my eyes quickly and stood on my tiptoes, closing the gap between.

ben's lips were like angel food cake. the best kind. soft and they didn't move to quickly or too little. just enough. I melted into it. it was heaven. I completely forgot about the world and why I was crying and everything. I was just lost in his kiss. he licked my bottom lip, asking for more. I granted permission and let him make me lose myself even more. his hands went from my neck to my thighs. I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist. he pushed me against the wall and I was completely lost.

this felt so right. but it was so wrong. I'm a cheat. I'm cheating on Carl right now. I can't believe I would ever do this. but it's not like I'll ever see a moment of my past life again so, why not?

I only separated the kiss because of the breathing default. we both gasped for breath. our forehead and noses touching and breath mingling in each others' exhalations.

"did I ever mention how fucking great you look in blue?"

•~•

we made it to the hilltop and all the supplies were ready. Ben took my hand and brought me to a man. he was dressed in a long coat and scarf. he must be dying under all those clothes.

"rayne, this is Jesus. he's one of the leaders here" Ben introduced me.
"hi, I'm rayne" I said and smiled.
"are you the one for the ultrasound I hear?" he asked and smiles. I blushed and nodded.
"so cute. congratulations" he said "I can take you to the Doctor" he said and started leading us to the doctors. this little town was so cute. little kids ran around and chased after each other and laughed. Jesus lead us into the huge main building. I looked around. it was huge. like three Alexandria houses.

"this is a beautiful house" I said to Jesus.
"oh, it's not mine. our leader and the doctor stay here. follow me" he said and started walking again. he knocked a door and it opened a second later.

"oh, hello!" the man said behind. "welcome" he let me and Ben in. "you're here for an ultrasound?"
"yes, please" I said and smiled. he smiled and patted the reclined chair.
"take a seat" he said. I laid down on the chair and held ben's hand.
"I'm dr. Petrackis" he said grabbed the bottle of cold liquid that they smother on top of your stomach. he pushed down on places on my stomach and asked if they hurt at all. I said no. he smiled and started the ultrasound.

I never imagined this would happen. even when I was younger, I never really wanted a baby that bad. I liked kids but I wouldn't want to look after one constantly. but now I didn't have a choice.

"there it is" dr. Petrackis said quietly. I stared at the screen. there it was. not very big and the features weren't to notice able but it was still there. dr. Petrackis pointed to the legs and head and arms and feet but I didn't pay attention. I had to wipe away tears. this is my baby. all mine. and I get watch he or she grow up and I get to give it a wonderful life.

"would you like a picture?" he asked. I nodded immediately. I looked over to Ben. even he was in tears.
"that's your baby" he said and kissed my hand. I nodded and put on the biggest smile.

"you're so damn beautiful when your happy" he said and kissed me yet again.