Where My Demons Hide

Meeting of the Minds

By 3:30 that afternoon the emotional tension seemed like a physical thing through out the entire building.  I sat in the common room with all of the other patients and waited for the families to arrive.  There was a mix between elation and fear present on almost everyones face.  Knowing that any minute the room would start to fill with 'normal' people made me slightly nauseous.  I didn't want to see the overdramatic displays of the parents coming to see their kids.  Hugs and kisses and crying, gag. 

As predicted the first family came in about ten minutes early with tears in their eyes and arms extended reaching for a girl named Stephanie.  She had been the most vocal in our group meetings. Talking about how she struggled with anorexia and bulimia for most of her teenage years.  Through all of the meetings, she never disclosed how she ended up here, though the fresh marks on her wrist indicated it was self inflicted. 

It was a little after four and all of the patients were sitting with their loved ones. I swear, this day alone would keep Kleenex in business for the next year.  It was quite disgusting actually.  I knew even if my parents showed up there is no way they would be blubbering over me.  They would sternly tell me to get better fast and to never let anything like this happen again.  Obviously it is bad for the family image.

At 4:15 I still sat alone and continued to watch the room.  Some people that were here with me were clearly more closed off than others.  But I could see the relief on most of their faces.  Their families still loved them even if they were a little off their rockers.  How nice for all of them. My foot continually tapping caught the attention of one of the mothers and she kept glancing back at me.  At first she looked annoyed at the disruption, but when she looked back for a third time pity was the only emotion clear on her face.

Defiantly i turned my chair around so I wouldn't have to look at her anymore.  I don't need anyones pity, especially that of a stranger.  You have enough shit to worry about lady, leave me alone.  After readjusting my chair and getting comfortable again, I noticed Dr. White staring at me from his corner of the room.  He tried to smile as he looked down at his watch.  I shrugged my shoulders at him, indicating I didn't mind being alone.  Visibly sighing he left his perch and started his way towards me.  

"Meadow, I know you're trying not to care that no one is here for you, but I can't stress enough how important it is that I see you have a stable support system.  You know you can't leave here until I do."

"Maybe his hero complex couldn't over ride his common sense this time.  I mean, he knows I'm bat shit crazy, right?" I laughed a little at myself.

"That's enough of that talk, please.  Listen, why don't you go back to your room and I'll make some phone calls.  Maybe we can get your parents down here for a brief meeting, even if it's outside of the normal hours," Dr. White seemed pleased with this idea.

"That is entirely unnecessary and you know it.  They won't come here. Even if the name on the outside of this building said it was some fucking spa they wouldn't step foot in a place like this. Especially not for me." I was sufficiently pissed off now and started making my way back to my room. 

Thankfully this area was so familiar to me that I didn't have to look where I was going.  No one would be in the halls now anyway with the big fucking reunion going on.  I turned the corner to my room and smacked right into someone.

"What the fuck? Watch where you're going!" I whipped my head up to see who dared get in my way.

"You're head was down, not mine." the amount of confidence that oozed out of his mouth when he spoke only served to piss me off further.

"If you saw my fucking head down you should have moved out of the way, Officer."

"And miss the chance to verbally spar with you?" he held is hand to his chest as if I offended him, "never!"