The Journals of Life

Entry 6: Conflict Within the Mind and Heart

I hate conflicts. I find that the worst type of conflict is whether to obey what your mind needs and your heart wants. Well at least the pieces of my heart, as I said before my heart gets cracked everytime someone suffers because of Death's cruelties. As I mentioned before that Death wasn't always a murderous person.. she used to love, smile, and even show compassion for humanity. The good old days.... why couldn't things be like the good old days. One could say because time changes people. Although that is true in some respects, a fragment of their true selves remain. Even if that fragment is as thin as string. I know the old Death is in there somewhere... the Death that Life fell in love with.

I leave my office and fly to my room which is slightly lower than the trinity's home up on the highest point of heaven. My room, unlike my office is very tidy. The room is rather large a queen sized bed made of cloud, a kitchen with all the edible plants and meats you could think of. But at the very center of the room lay three statue pillars I installed with a button on each. The first pillar is relics of all the major historical events in history winners or loosers. The second pillar allows me to teleport to the mortal world in a more scientific way, but with every incarnation that I make, I could never remember what the third one did. The button seemed familiar it always has been it is slightly more worn than the rest. I must have used it alot at one point, I suppose... I wonder if it still works. I thought to myself as I approached the third pillar. The pillar was about four feet tall and each pillar had a image on them. The first one is the Earth as it was back in Eden , the second one is the Earth as it is now, and the third for some strange reason is a yin and yang symbol. For those who don't know it means the evil in the good and the good within the evil. Or in my case Life in Death and Death in Life. It is funny how I can remember that definition but cannot remember this pillar's function. So I decided to press it... the button so familiar to the touch... I felt a mix of feelings that could only be explained by wordless joy. Then there was a huge gust of wind that blew over my room and the pillar glowed with light as I too became immersed in the light.

-Ancient Rome-
I see it all... the Colleseum, the architecture, this was one of the most favorable times me and death shared together. I remembered I asked her to go to the colleseum with me... Ah! There I go right now!

" Hey Shinra I have a question..." I said rather shyly.
The memory crystal clear the clamor of the city and amidst the commotion I asked her on a date.

"Yes Life? You seem troubled are you ill?" Death asked.

"No! I just wanted to know if you wanted to go to the colleseum with me!" I said very quickly blushing.

This was when I was more shy about expressing my feelings of course the Roman Empire had its flaws but they knew how to punish sinners.

"Oh Life," She giggled. "Is this the first time asking a girl out? I mean yes you are older than me by a few margins of millenia, but I thought you would be less shy in this form, here allow me to help you."Death said as she touched my face her cold palm soothing me as I passed out changing my form more fitting of the time period.

"Thanks Shinra, I needed that one, so would you have me with the honor of going on this date with me?" I asked her.
"Yes, yes I will, that is the charmer I was expecting after all you had ages to practice." She laughed again.

Boy did she love laughing at my silly mistakes. I laughed to myself. As I floated in this memory we watched the fights happen from Death's favorite seat the emperor's seat. We first got dressed for the occassion. I dressed in a traditional Roman Gladiator outfit while Death was dressed in the Emperess's clothes. And we made wagers of liquor and the gladiator ' s life. Who would be the true warrior and who would meet the swords end. I typically called the victor. However death always had a hunch of whom would die or when the Lions would be brought out. I loved it and she did too.

-years later-

"Shinra, it must be so bleak in the underworld... no offense. Why can't you just live up in heaven I am sure there would be room?" I asked her.

She laughed to my confusion.

"I can't go to heaven. I have a business to run. The Reaper Society, I'll call it. I have to make sure these reapers collect the innocents and slay the evil ones. However, we can still hang out." she said.

" Death I want to ask you something. It has been four years, and I was wondering..." I say nervously.

"Yes Life?" She responded.

"Will you marry me?" I asked her as I knelt to the ground touching the soil producing a black flower, a rose.

Death always loved black and I could not find a true flower to capture her beauty nor the proper shade. So I improvised. Death, began to cry tears of shock and joy.
"Yes! Yes! Life I will marry you!" She said as she planted a kiss on my lips.

What normally would kill me in a heartbeat did not. This moment was the beginning of a wonderful time together.... but not every love story has a happy ending, and sadly mine is just like every other relationship in the modern world, heartbreak.