Before my eyes even focused on the surroundings, I could smell blood and lingering stench of death in the air. It took less than a second to pull my stake, and only a few moments longer to make my way through the back door of the home. My heart was racing as I made my way towards the front of the house, towards the living room. I occasionally glanced towards one side or another, checking for threats but already knowing they were long gone. Finally, as my feet automatically led me to the final horrid scene, I saw him. Ivan. I had relived this dream...nightmare...memory so many times that I didn't even check for a pulse. I simply stared at my best friend and charge. I let the guilt wash over me like it had so many times before. Just off to his side was my partner, Stefan Radu. His neck was twisted awkwardly where he lay and his eyes simply stared at me, hollow and accusing. "Where were you?" they seemed to say. I wanted to beg forgiveness, but I was already too late. I was always too late.
My stake dropped from my hands as I fell to my knees. It was useless trying to save them now. I simply stared at the two men before me. I started to wonder 'what if...' What if I had sent Guardian Radu to pick up the missing item for dinner that night and stayed here instead? What if I had simply waited to drop off the package for my family at the post office? What if I had insisted that they come with me? What if I had chosen another time or another day to run those seemingly insignificant errands?
Suddenly, a hand rested gently on my shoulder. I was so focused on the scene in front of me that I hadn't heard anyone approach. I reached for my stake when I heard her voice. "You shouldn't blame yourself. You couldn't have prevented this and this isn't your fault. They know that. You know that. I know that. They wouldn't want you to relive this moment night after night. They would want you to move on; to remember them and live your life with joy, not pain and regret."
They voice was familiar, comforting. I had heard these same words (or something like them) from others, but for once they didn't seem pitying or disappointed. For once, I believed them. The pain and guilt didn't vanish, but it subsided. I felt the desire to move forward rather than look back.
I finally tore my eyes from the corpse of my friends to gaze at the person beside me. The shock of seeing who it was almost overcame the shock of seeing the death lingering so close by. While I had never had a visitor, a comforter, during these dreams before, she was the last person I expected. Perhaps my mother, or grandmother, or even one of my sisters. Perhaps my own mentor, Galina. Not Rose.
But there Rose stood. Her hair was flowing down her back like a gently wafting curtain. A small smile played on her lips, both sad and hopeful. But what took me back the most was her eyes. They were dark brown and endlessly deep. Within them I saw acceptance, promise, understanding and something completely unrecognizable yet desperately essential. I was amazed to find everything I needed within her countenance.
I touched her hand, still resting on my shoulder, as I stood before her. My fingers tingled with electricity where our skin met. No longer was I kneeling, but I still felt some worshipful awe at this angel of mercy who seemed to both understand my pain and take it away. In her eyes and her smile, she offered everything my heart desired. All I had to do was reach out and accept it. I felt the desire to simply take her in my arms and never let go. Her smile brightened when I took a step closer, closing the small gap between us as I reached for her before...
I woke with a start to the incessant beeping of my alarm clock. It was 4pm, early in the vampiric morning and long before any students would be awake. My breath was heavy with the vague memory of my dream, my skin tingling as my clothing wicked the last of the cold sweat away. I threw off my covers and shook my head to clear my mind as I made my way to the shower. Waking early was part of the new routine I had fallen into over the past few week since I took Rose on as student. Rose's practice didn't start until 5, but I preferred starting a bit earlier to get my own training in. I did most of my weight training along side Rose, plus some other balance and flexibility work, but it was easier for me to get my morning run in alone. Her pace was still significantly slower than mine, and while I only required three miles out of her each morning and afternoon, I preferred to run five to seven miles each morning.
As much as I disliked leaving my bed so early, I had to admit that it has some benefits. Moroi can stand to be out in the daylight, but it is uncomfortable. Because of this, they keep a nocturnal schedule. While Dhampir aren't affected by the sun any more than a typical human, we generally keep the same schedule as our charge, which for me meant living the night life. Still, I craved the warmth of the sun and with my earlier than normal schedule, I was able to enjoy the last few hours before sunset while I was on the track.
Running was also my favorite time to simply allow my mind to wander. Something about the steady rhythm of footfalls allowed me to slipped into an almost hypnotic state. Often, my thoughts drifted towards the same direction as my dreams: my family or Ivan, the occasional old childhood memory. Today, I kept seeing flashes of my earlier dream. It seemed convoluted, but I could remember little bits and pieces. Rose standing beside me as I mourned my best friends and guardian partner. The understanding and acceptance that lightened my pain and guilt. Reaching towards her. None of it made sense in the last light of the sun, but those random memories still it brought a sense of peace. Oddly, it was that peace that confused me and worried me most.
I shouldn't really be thinking of Rose, much less dreaming about her. It was one thing to spend time with her in practice, to discuss her unusual bond to the princess, to think of her needs while planning her training sessions, or to feel invested in her education and career as her mentor. However, this was not only unusual, it was unacceptable. Seeking her out – unconsciously or not – for comfort, understanding, or even friendship was a line I shouldn't cross. Still, I couldn't help but appreciate that momentary peace that her presence gave during my nightmare. Though it was only a dream, I knew that she also had a somewhat calming presence (for me at least) in reality. She could get on my nerves like no other, but on occasion she also made me feel relaxed enough to let down some of my internal walls. It was as if she understood and accepted me, rather than simply respecting me and my past. I never sought it out, but it was hard to completely ignore.
After my run, I had a few minutes left until Rose was due at practice. I pulled out my novel and sprawled out on the mat to wait for her. While she was getting better about being on time, our earliest session was the most unpredictable. I had barely made it through a single page before I head the door opening. A quick check at the clock showed that she was only running two minutes behind, quite possibly a new record.
"Whoa, Dimitri," her bag thumped on the floor and I braced myself for the sarcasm that I could already hear winding up in her voice. "I realize this is actually a current hit in Eastern Europe right now, but do you think we could maybe listen to something that wasn't recorded before I was born?"
I quickly glanced at her, and was tempted to roll my eyes as I had seen her do so many times. I had left the CD player on after working at the punching bags, and the radio had started playing "When the Doves Cry" by Prince. This song even predated me. While it would never rank in my top 100, it wasn't a horrible song either, but I knew how much she enjoyed our morning banter so I played along.
"What does it matter to you? I'm the one who's going to be listening to it. You'll be outside running."
Rose scrunched her nose as she stretched her legs, and then stuck her tongue out playfully. No come back; score one for Dimitri. I smiled and suppressed a chuckle as I returned to my book.
"Hey," I heard her shifting into her next set of stretches, "what's with all the running, anyway? I mean, I realize the importance of stamina and all that, but shouldn't I be moving on to something with a little hitting? They're still killing me in group practice."
This was the closest she had come in a while to directly questioning my training with her. While we did review combat moves, we had yet to do any sparring together. I wondered if she was still just messing around. "Maybe you should hit harder?"
"I'm serious." From the tone in her voice, I knew she was.
"Hard to tell the difference." I set my book aside and stared towards the ceiling as I pondered how to answer her. I knew she wasn't being disrespectful per say, but was simply curious about why I focused so hard on something so elementary. It deserved an honest answer. "My job is to get you ready to defend the Princess and fight dark creatures, right?"
"Yep." I felt the corners of my lips pull up as I heard the excitement in her voice. Only an inexperienced novice would be so eager to get out in the field and take on a challenge so daunting.
"So tell me this: supposed you manage to kidnap her again and take off to the mall," as much as Rose had matured in the past month, I still wouldn't put it past her. "While you're there, a Strigoi comes at you. What will you do?"
"Depends on what store we're in," she replied with an impish smile.
I shot a look at her. While I should have expected such a reply, I wasn't in the mood for her joking at the moment.
Her face dropped a tad and she gave her real answer, "Fine. I'll stab him with a silver stake."
I finally sat up. This response was more acceptable, but it was still predictable and more importantly it was still incorrect. "Oh?" I raised an eyebrow to her. "Do you have a silver stake? Do you even know how to use one?"
That earned me a bit of a scowl. I knew it was a sore spot with her. Her peers were well into their training with stakes, but because of her time away she still had a bit to go before I'd start teaching her how to use one. Infused with elemental magic, they were a guardian's deadliest weapon and had to potential to kill a Strigoi instantly. However, they could also be lethal to Moroi and dhampirs if handled incorrectly. We start training novices with firearms in their freshman year, but stake training didn't start until half way through junior year.
"Okay. I'll cut his head off."
She was playing into my lesson exactly how I had hoped she would, simply listing the three ways you can kill Stigoi. "Ignoring the fact that you don't have a weapon to do that, how will you compensate for the fact that he may be a food taller than you."
Her hand went to her hips and I saw the last of her patience wither away. "Fine, then I'll set him on fire."
"Again, with what?"
"Alright, I give up. You've already got the answer, you're just messing with me. I'm at the mall and I see a Strigoi. What do I do?"
I met her eyes and made sure I had her full attention. "You run."
She seemed shocked for a second and I didn't blame her. It was far from the answer that she was expecting, and was far from the answer that most guardians would expect. However, when you are in a situation that you are unprepared for, it's important to know when to flee. When that time comes, you better be ready to run. Her look became a bit more questioning, but she didn't comment any further.
"Come on. I'll run with you today." I figured that the best way to show my dedication to my lesson was by example. Even with my run this morning, I knew it wouldn't hurt to run with her again. We made our way to the track silently.
Once again, I let her set the pace. A few laps in, I needed to slow down a little bit to match her again. With fire in her eyes, she shot me a glare and sped up just slightly. We both knew that I could out run her easily, but she still didn't want to come across as weak. I smiled inwardly at her little show of competition and mentally recorded it as another way to motivate her in the future. We kept this pace nearly to the end of the three mile run when some voices – male voices – called to her and cheered her on.
"Good form, Rose!" As innocent as it sounded, I knew from the smirk in their voice that they weren't speaking solely about her running technique.
She smiled flirtatiously and waved back to her fans, slowing down just a bit in the process.
"You're slowing down," I snapped, harsh enough to surprise us both. "Is this why your times aren't getting any faster? You're easily distracted?"
Her cheeks flushes slightly and she sped up once more to a pace faster than what we had been keeping most of the morning. I matched her new speed but my mind was still locked into what happened moments earlier.
What the hell was that about? But I already knew why I had snapped at her. I was angry about the boy's comments, and even more upset about her friendly response. No...not angry or upset. That would be an expected reaction from a dedicated mentor. Perhaps my words matched what I should have felt, by my tone did not. My tone was possessive and jealous. Jealous that those boys would have the nerve to flirt with her in front of me, and that she would flirt back like it was nothing. Jealousy was not an expected nor acceptable reaction from a mentor. I was entitled to feel some sort of protectiveness about her, but no more than a father or brother. That – what I had said and how I had said it – was anything but familial. I didn't know where it came from so unexpectedly, but I was glad that Rose didn't seem to find anything amiss.
Rose suddenly slowed for her cool down lap and I was so distracted by my own actions that I almost didn't realize that our run was over. I checked my watch and saw that she had shaved a full two minutes off her best time. If that was the result of running with her, then I knew I should do so more often. Even with my earlier outburst, I felt a swelling of pride in my chest as I let her know her new record on our walk back to the gym to cool down and clean up before her classes started.
"Not bad, huh?" she smirked playfully as she walked of me, her footsteps practically dancing with the residual running high. "Looks like I could get as far as the Limited before the Strigoi got me at the mall. Not sure how Lissa would do."
I smiled at the child-like joy of her accomplishment. "If she was with you, she'd be okay." My mind and mouth seemed to be running away with themselves today. Once again the words were that of a mentor, proud and complimentary, however the tone was far from the correct mark. I barely had time to register what I had said or the surprised smile it had earned from Rose before her eyes became slightly unfocused.
I recognized the look from the last time she was snapped into Lissa's head, though it was no less unsettling. It only lasted a moment, barely enough time for me to see what was happening before she blinked and focused on me. Her eyes showed pure terror before she turned an took off in the direction of the Moroi dorms.
Despite just finishing three miles and setting a new personal record, she was running faster than I had ever seen. In my shock, I was frozen for a moment before I started running myself and calling out to her. She ignored me and ran faster. She had some distance on me, but I was slowly gaining on her after my own 10-mile mini marathon that morning.
Suddenly, a pale figure fleeing from the opposite direction came into view and ran directly into Rose's arms. It was Princess Vasilisa. Rose held her, stroking her hair and alternating between soothing words and requests for explanation. While she focused on Lissa, I stood guard over them, poised to attack any unknown treat.
Finally after a few moments, Rose was able to determine that whatever had terrified the fragile Moroi was in her room. We slowly made our way back, before I left them in the hall to check for additional dangers. For the most part, the room didn't seem that different from the many other student's that were on campus. A shared room, one side more lived-in than the other, with personal touches scattered about. However, there was one element that was very misplaced and more than mildly disturbing. On the middle on one bed – Vasilisa's most likely – was a fox. It was dead, it's neck slit and it's fur and surrounding bed spread stained with blood. It's eyes were open and unblinking, glazed with what was probably painful and horrific last moments.
After finding no other issues, I shut my eyes against the unsettling sight and pulled out my phone to call Guardian Petrov and Headmistress Kirova. This was more than your average act of vandalism or bullying, this was something meant to induce nightmares and send a very threatening message to the recipient. With one final look that made my stomach turn in knots, I left the room to rejoin the girls in the hall and wait for the others to arrive.
It took only a few minutes before I led the entire party into the room. The Headmistress immediately brought her hand to her mouth to suppress a gag, while the three other guardians silently overcame their shock at the image on the bed. Despite what you may think, one never really overcomes the unnerving presence of death, and it was all that much harder to ignore when the circumstances were anything but expected.
The final figure to walk into the room was Rose, with the princess still wrapped in her arms. I had hoped they would stay in the hall, but I knew Rose's curiosity and protective nature would get the best of her. Her eyes widened when she saw the mutilated fox, but she did her best to cover her squeamishness as she pulled Vasilisa tighter into her embrace and buried her face in her friend's blonde hair. She was seeking comfort as she was giving it.
Vasilisa simply stared for a moment before breaking free from her protectors grasp. Oddly, she stretched out her hand towards the poor creature. Over the commotion of the adults trying to compile some explanation for the act, I heard Lissa's whispered breath. "It was still alive when I got back...barely." She clutched onto Rose for support as her legs wobbled beneath her. "Oh God, it was twitching. It must have suffered so much."
My heart broke for the gentle girl and what she had witnessed. However, my attention was renewed when their conversation continued into stranger depths. Quite but hurried, Rose asked, "Did you .."
"No. I wanted to...I started to..."
"Then forget about it. It's stupid. Somebody's stupid joke. They'll clean it up. Probably even give you a new room if you want." Her words were meant to console her friend, but I could hear an intense fear behind her voice. She didn't believe that this was a joke blown out of proportion. She knew that there was a very real villain behind this act.
Suddenly, Vasilisa's eyes grew wild. "Rose...do you remember...that one time..."
"Stop it," Rose cut off her words and threw a glace around the room to see if they were over heard. I tried to act as nonchalant as I could given the circumstances. "Forget about it. This isn't the same thing," Rose continued.
"What if someone saw? What if someone knows?..." Vasilisa was practically hysterical and Rose was desperately trying to keep her quite to reduce the attention to their strange words.
"No." Rose was gripping Lissa's arm so tightly, I wondered if she would bruise her. "It's not the same. It has nothing to do with that. Do you hear me?" Her strong, stern, commanding voice softened as she hugged her friend again. "It's going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay."
Princess Vasilisa nodded, but it was clear that neither girl truly believed Rose's words.
"Guardian Belikov!" My head snapped to attention as Headmistress Kirova ordered me to escort Rose to her classes. Neither of us wanted to leave our charge in such a vulnerable state, but I couldn't disobey a direct order and I was assured that Vasilisa would be escorted to the clinic and taken care of there.
Instead of taking her directly to her first class, I walked Rose towards her dorm. She was still in her training gear and there seemed to be a few drops of blood on her shirt; evidence of the gruesome scene we had just left. I was silently replaying the conversation between the girls over and over again, trying to make sense of anything. Finally, a few steps from the novices' dorms, I stopped and turned to face her head on.
"You know something. Something about what happened." It wasn't a question, I knew she was hiding something and had been from the moment she returned to campus. "Is this what you meant when you told Headmistress Kirova that Lissa was in danger?"
Her eyes widened and I knew I hit the target dead center. Still, she denied it. "I don't know anything. It's some sick joke." She tried to walk away, but I held her in place by the shoulder.
"Do you have any idea who'd do it? Or why?"
She broke my gaze as she considered it for a minute. "No. No clue." Despite her dishonest denial earlier, I knew she was speaking the truth now. She really had no idea who would stoop to such a level.
"Rose," her eyes met mine again as I placed my second hand on her other shoulder and tried to gain her focus and her trust in this matter. "If you know something, tell me. We're on the same side. We both want to protect her. This is serious."
She pushed me away, strong and angry with a rabid look in her eye that was enough to make me flinch. "Yeah, it is serious. It's all serious. And you have me doing laps every day when I should be learning how to fight and defend her! If you want to help her, then teach me something. Teach me how to fight. I already know how to run away." She was breathlessly panting, furiously looking at me and waiting for an answer.
I simply stared, somewhat awed by the realization that yes...she did know how to run away. She had done just that, fleeing with Lissa when she was against an unknown enemy and unprepared to fight back. She had done exactly what I had instructed her to do that morning. And I brought her back, I brought them both back to place where they feared. I had taken the option of running away, and it was my duty to instead teach her to to fight. To protect our charge and to protect herself.
"Come on." I beckoned her forward, still dazed by the realization that their two year disappearance wasn't spurred by a childish whimsy, but by a very real enemy. One she was fully dedicated to protect Vasilisa from. "You're late for practice."
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Vampire Academy: Dimitri's Point of View
VampireI do not own the characters or plotlines in this story.
