Vampire Academy: Dimitri's Point of View

Broken Hope

I could feel the van start to slow down, finally pulling into the Academy gates. Rose was still sounds asleep on my shoulder, softly snoring. She hardly moved the entire ride here, and I was hesitant to wake her, but it wasn't as if I could let her sleep the rest of the night in the van, especially with her using my shoulder as her pillow.
I touched her shoulder and gently shook her to rouse her. It took a try or two, but eventually her eyes fluttered opened. She looked directly at me and under the last influence of sleep, gave me a smile before she realized where her head was resting. She popped up, scooting over to give a bit of distance between us as she handed my jacket back to me. The sudden chill I felt at her absence was surprising, but I tried not to dwell on it to much.
"Thanks." Her voice was a bit hesitant and shy, but I could still see smile she was trying to hide.
"No problem." We were the last two to get out of the van, and I extended my hand to her to steady her as she climbed out after me.
"Back to prison." She basked in the midnight sun for a moment, taking a deep breath before letting out a sigh and catching up to Lissa.
She might have been back on probation, but I could already see the stress of school had faded with her short-lived freedom. I was glad that she had the chance to get away, even if it was just for an evening.
Spiridon appeared beside me as I watched Rose chatting animatedly with her friend, practically skipping as she walked along side her.
"So, you two looked mighty comfortable on the ride back." His grin left no question as to what he was alluding to.
"She was tired and fell asleep. No big deal." I tried to keep my face straight, but one look at his unbelieving smirk and I could feel the corners of my mouth tug upwards.
"Uh-huh. Whatever you say."
Rose caught both of our attention when she hopped up on one of the wooden benches that lined the path way. When she reached the end, she jumped off, only to repeat the action when she came to the next bench a few feet away. On the second bench, she gave a little twirl as she dismounted, playfully bowing to the laughs and applause from Lissa and Natalie.
"Hey!" Called Spiridon, failing miserably to keep his own laughter from his voice. "You're still on duty, no fun allowed up there!"
"No fun here," she called back, batting her eyes in a show of feigned innocents. I shook my head and looked away, knowing that a wider audience was only likely to make her more bold with her tricks. Sure enough, she turned back towards the series of benches and ran towards the next one, her voice carrying back towards us as she did so. "I swear – shit!"
I watched in horror as one of the bench boards gave way beneath her and heard the sharp crack of bones snapping even from yards away. Several of the girls shirked, while Spiridon and I rushed towards Rose. Most of her body was laying flat against the bench, but her ankle was bent at an odd angle, stuck in a hole of the rotten wood. It was easy to tell that it was broken. When Rose didn't move or cry out, I noticed that she had passed out under the shock of the break. I was grateful for the small blessing, knowing that if she was conscious, the pain would be immense.
She must have his just the right spot on the bench, because the hole was small and almost seemed to be formed around her already swollen ankle. Lissa desperately tried to reach out to Rose, but Spiridon held her back while I started to break away the wood. Once it was wide enough, I was able to carefully lift her off the bench and took off towards the clinic, leaving the other guardians to return our party to their rooms.
I did my best to keep her still as I ran, but the jostling must have roused her enough. Soon I could hear some incoherent murmurs coming from her. I couldn't make out much between the soft whimpers of pain, but I did hear both mine and Lissa's name, as well as the odd mention of training. Her face was tucked into my shoulder again, but instead sleeping peacefully, her hands hands gripped my shirt and her eyes and jaw was clenched tight as tears escaped down her cheeks. I tried to tell her that we were almost there, and that she would be alright, but I knew she wasn't processing my words. I hoped that my voice provided at least some comfort.
It wasn't until we arrived that I realized Lissa had followed us. The nurse showed us to a small room and had me place her on the cot before she checked her vitals and called for Dr. Olendzki. She returned a moment later with a small syringe, saying that the doctor had ordered something for the pain.
Lissa and I sat beside her. Lissa was at the foot of the bed, resting her hand about mid-shin on her broken leg while I sat next to Rose's shoulder. I was doing my best to resist the temptation to brush away her tears or run my fingers through her hair as she occasional tossed her head side to side. As much as I wanted to comfort her, I knew I couldn't do so with Lissa as an audience. Even now, with me keeping my hands folded in my lap, I could see Lissa watching me cautiously. Thankfully, as the medicine quickly kicked in, Rose's quiet pain-filled cries became more subdued and infrequent. Rose was peacefully resting again ten minutes later when Doctor Olendzki finally arrived.
After telling her what had happened leading up to our arrival, the doctor ushered both Lissa and I out into the hall. Spiridon was waiting a few feet away in the lobby of the clinic and called out when he saw us.
"Hey, how is she?" He was breathless, and I wouldn't have been surprised if he ran over as soon as Prince Victor and the others had been dropped off. While I was a bit surprised to see him here, I appreciated his concern.
"No official word yet, but they did give her something for the pain and she's resting. The doctor is looking her over now."
"It looked like a really bad break. I hope it doesn't take too long to heal. I may not know her very well, but I'm pretty sure she's not one to sit still during recovery."
I just smiled in response. He was right. Even though she fought training in the beginning, she seemed to thrive during our practices now and wouldn't take kindly to bedrest.
After a minute or two of watching Vasilisa pace outside the door, Spiridon spoke up again. "I should probably get going, but I just wanted to make sure she is alright and drop something off from Prince Victor. It's just a little gift for when she wakes up."
I took the small package from him, remembering him talking about the congratulatory gift earlier. "Thank you, I'm sure she'll love the surprise." I caught sight of Lissa again, her pacing becoming slower as exhaustion started to overtake her. "Would you mind escorting the Princess to her room?"
He nodded while she started to protest. I cut her words off quickly. "Don't worry Vasilisa, I'll stay with her until she wakes. You should get some sleep though, you can hardly stand up as it is."
I could see her forming an argument again, but she only mustered a yawn before agreeing with me. Spiridon took her arm and started leading her out of the clinic. As soon as they were out of view, I let out the breath I had been holding and relaxed into one of the chairs in the hallway. It wasn't too long afterward that the doctor finally exited the room. I immediately stood at attention again when she spotted me.
"Ah, Guardian Belikov. Thank you for waiting. I have to say that this was a bit unusual..." She looked at her notes while I tried to understand what she meant by 'unusual.' "It seems that Rose is, well, perfectly fine."
I didn't even try to hide the surprise on my face. Frankly, I was too tired and confused to care at this point. "What do you mean? That's impossible. I saw her fall, I heard the bone crack, I saw the bruising, the swelling and the odd angle. How could she just be fine?"
"Honestly, I'm not sure. I even took x-rays to double check, but she doesn't have a single sign of the injury. Not even a scratch or splinter from the wood." She peered down at my hands, slightly marred by tearing at the bench earlier. "You actually look worse than she does."
I automatically brushed off her concern. "Do you mind if I go in then?" As much as I wanted to believe Dr. Olendzki, I had to see this for myself. There was no way that she came away from the incident unscathed.
"Sure, but I should let you know that she will probably sleep for another little while. The medicine I gave her was a bit strong, she'll probably be a bit groggy for a while. Otherwise, she should be just fine and can return to her room after she wakes. I don't think there is anything else I can offer. If something comes up, don't hesitate to let the nurse know. I'd be happy to come back if needed."
Rose was indeed still asleep when I walked in. I crept towards the foot of the bed, lifting a bit of the sheet that covered her right ankle. Just like the doctor had said, there wasn't a single sign of her fall. I quickly checked the other ankle just to be sure that I hadn't mistaken which foot had taken the force of the fall, but it looked just like the first. No swelling, no bruising, no scratches. It was just a little bit red, and perhaps a tad warm to the touch. With no explanation, and succumbing to the pull of fatigue, I replaced the cover over her feet and returned to the chair beside her.
With no audience this time, I freely smoothed her hair, tucking a rouge piece behind her ear. A few minutes later, I was quietly dozing beside her, my head propped up in my hand.
It seemed like only a few minutes later when I started to hear her shift on the bed, slowly waking from her drug induced nap. I watched as her eyes fluttered open, trying to focus on the lights above her.
"Rose?"
She turned towards my voice, meeting my eyes with a smile. "Hey." Her voice was a bit hoarse, and I searched for some water to offer her.
"How do you feel?" I handed her the bottle and she quickly drank half of it in a single gulp, grimacing as the cool water coated her throat.
"Weird. Kind of groggy."
"Dr. Olendzki gave you something for the pain – you seemed pretty bad when we brought you in." I was still surprised that there wasn't any lasting damage, or any apparent damage at all
"I don't remember that...how long have I been out?"
I glanced at the clock, it was getting close to morning by now. "A few hours."
"Must have been strong. Must still be strong." I could see her wiggle her toes under the thin sheet. "I don't hurt at all."
"No. Because you weren't seriously injured."
She looked about as surprised as I felt. "Are you sure? I remember...the way it bent. No. Something must be broken." She started to sit up, a bit quicker than she probably should. "Or at least sprained."
I caught her by the shoulder when I saw her sway unsteadily, still under the influence of the medication. "Be careful. Your ankle might be fine, but you're probably still a little out of it."
She continued to sit up, reaching for the covers a bit slower than she had before. She examined her foot like I had, even checking the other one to be sure. After seeing proof that nothing was wrong, she shrugged and returned her attention to me. "God, I got lucky. If I'd hurt it, it would have put me out of practice for a while."
I laughed and returned to my chair by her side. Of course she was worried about that. "I know. You kept telling me that while I was carrying you. You were very upset."
I almost didn't catch the little wince before she spoke. "You...you carried me here?" I couldn't tell if she was amused or embarrassed by the idea.
"After we broke the bench apart and freed your foot."
She leaned her head back against the wall, hiding her face behind her hands before we both started laughing. I probably had over reacted earlier, tearing at the bench like a mad man, but I had been so worried about her. I was nothing short of a miracle that she wasn't injured, but I wasn't going to question the fact that she was fine. Her laughter dissolved into a small groan when she realized something.
"I was taken down by a bench." At least, that's what I thought she said. Her words were muffled to the point where I could hardly understand them.
"What?"
She finally moved her hands, absentmindedly pulling her hair out of it's now destroyed bun and letting it hang loose as she sighed. "I survived the whole day guarding Lissa, and you guys said I did a good job. Then, I get back here and meet my downfall in the form of a bench." She looked away, hiding the blush that was spreading across her cheeks. "Do you know how embarrassing that is? And all those guys saw too!"
"It wasn't your fault," I reassured, holding back my smile, knowing that it would only make her feel worse. "No one knew the bench was rotted. It looked fine."
"Still. I should have just stuck to the sidewalk like a normal person. The other novices are going to give me shit when I get back."
The look on her face broke my facade. Of course she was more worried about the potential taunting from the other novices and looking foolish in front of the guardians. It wasn't like she had just managed to avoid serious injury or anything. I shook my head in amusement. "Maybe presents will cheer you up."
That got her attention. "Presents?" Any earlier embarrassment was quickly forgotten just by the mention of gifts.
I nodded and handed her the small box on the nearby table. "This is from Prince Victor."
She took the box with a look of surprise. I doubt that she expected anything from him. She quietly read the note, her look of surprise slowly dissolving into a smile. I didn't ask what it said, and she didn't share, but I had a decent idea based on what Spiridon had told me earlier.
After folding the note and slipping it into her pocket, reached for the box again. "That's nice of him." The lid lifted, revealing its contents. The look of shock returned, amplified ten-fold. "Whoa. Very nice."
Her fingers looped around a delicate chain, gingerly pulling it from the box. The golden rose had small diamonds lining it's petals, with a much larger diamond showcased in the center. It was stunning, and even without seeing the price tag, there was no doubt in my mind that it had cost a small fortune.
"This is pretty extreme for a get-well present."
"He actually bought it in honor of you doing so well on your first day as an official guardian." I was still slightly shocked by the extravagance. My voice sounded distant, as if someone else was speaking. I remembered Lissa and Rose admiring something while at the jewelery store. "He must have seen you and Lissa looking at it."
"Wow," she breathed, turning the pendant in her hands to watch it glitter in the light. "I don't think I did that good of a job."
"I do."
Her eyes briefly met mine as I spoke, giving me a proud grin before admiring the necklace once more. I felt a small pang in my chest as she examined the gift in awe and wonder. She deserved nice things like this. In our world of violence and action they were hardly practical, but an elegant luxury like that seemed to fit her. It wouldn't seem awkward or out of place around her neck like it would on some girls, as if they had raided their mother's jewelery box. I knew that the gold and diamond rose would only be enhanced by her own natural beauty when she wore it. Despite the raw power and fire that burned within her, I had also seen glimpses of a young lady that could hold her own under pressure with both grace and poise. In stark contrast to the brash wild child that many saw her as, she could easily blend in with royalty if she chose to do so. She deserved a life filled with these sort of pleasantries, and a man who could offer such.
As much as I willed the thought not to come, it came anyways. That man isn't you. You'll never be able to give her the gifts, the security, or the life she deserves. The unbidden words stung. It was one thing to know that I could never be with Rose because of various circumstances beyond my control. I could almost accept that as fate. It was another thing entirely to feel unworthy of her.
I was a man of simple means. A guardian's salary wasn't much to begin with, and even less so when I was still early in my career. I was careful with what I had, avoiding debt when possible and saving where I could. I lived with the bare essentials in life, allowing my western novels as my only real luxury. Everything else I sent home to help provide for my family. My lifestyle had never really bothered me until now, but in this moment I resented the fact that I couldn't offer Rose more than a small token. After Victor's surprise, I half hoped that I could put off giving her my own gift. It would pale in comparison.
I wouldn't be so lucky.
"You did say 'presents,' right? Like...more than one?" Her voice snapped me out of my self wallowing and I knew I was incapable of resisting the hopeful look on her face as she replaced the precious jewelry in it's protective box, setting it aside. I knew I would always give in to her and the thought only made me laugh.
I reached for my jacket, pulling the small black bag out of the pocket before handing it to her. "This is from me."
She took the bag cautiously, eying it like whatever was inside might attack her. Glancing at me skeptically and biting her lip in anticipation, I nodded my encouragement before she pulled away the red tissue paper and looked inside.
The small gasp she gave when she recognized the tube of lip gloss was enough to relieve my own trepidation. Momentarily speechless (which is quite a feat indeed) she switched her gaze between me and the gift as her mouth struggled and failed to form words. After a moment or two, she finally found her voice again, though it was still filled with pleasant disbelief.
"How'd you manage to buy this? I saw you the whole time at the mall."
"Guardian secrets."
She rolled her eyes at my response but didn't push the matter further. "What's this for? My first day?"
"No," I answered simply. "It's because I thought it would make you happy."
The smile that earned me was worth every penny and more. I had set out to make her happy and I had succeeded. I didn't think I could feel more elated than I did at that moment, but she proved me wrong yet again.
Before I could tell what was happening, I felt Rose's arms around my neck and her body pressed against me chest in a tight embrace. She had been attempting to surprise me in training for weeks now, and she had finally managed to catch me off-guard; though not in the way she had intended, I'm sure.
Within seconds, her comforting warmth relaxed my stiff posture and I returned the gesture. I felt a her smile form against my neck as I placed one hand on her lower back while the fingers on my other hand wound into her hair. I selfishly held her for a moment, recognizing the soft scent of her shampoo and doing everything I could to cement this memory into my mind. I hated to ruin this feeling with words, but the overwhelming flood of relief that she was safe clouded my mind.
"I'm glad you're better," I whispered against her ear. "When I saw you fall..."
She pulled back just a little, hands still resting on my shoulders, so she could see me better before rolling her eyes and cutting off my sentiment, "You thought, 'Wow, she's a loser.'"
"That's not what I thought." My voice was gentle, but inside my emotions were raging like a storm. I knew I shouldn't, but all I wanted to do was kiss her. Slowly, carefully, I allowed my fingers to trace her cheek bone before twirling a loose lock of hair beside her neck. She shivered slightly under my touch and I knew I wasn't alone in my desire. I had kissed many women before, but I had never felt my heart race in anticipation as it did right now. I leaned in slightly, watching her tongue run along her upper lip and wanting nothing more than to feel those same lips against mine.
A soft knock at the door brought us back to a cold reality and we both jumped away from the other as the door opened. Dr. Olendzki entered and without hesitation, and smiled when she saw Rose awake. "I thought I heard you talking. How do you feel?"
Before Rose could answer, the doctor had gently pushed her back against the cot and started examining her ankle. She twisted it cautiously, pressing her fingers against the joint and bones before shaking her head in disbelief and jotting down a few notes on her chart.
"You're lucky. With all the noise you made coming in here, I thought your foot had been amputated. Must have just been shock." She shrugged, giving me a pointed look before speaking to Rose again. "I'd feel better if you sat out your normal training tomorrow, but otherwise, you're good to go."
With how early it now was, I had been planning on canceling training anyway, but I gave the doctor a quick not of agreement before she left and I stood to retrieve Rose's shoes and coat. I helped her off the bed and watched as she started slipping her shoes on. I shook my head, still not quite believing how close she came to getting a serious injury.
"You have a guardian angel." I stated.
She scoffed. "I don't believe in angels," she declared as she reached for her other shoe. "I believe in what I can do for myself." The finality in her words amused me, though I didn't doubt that she meant them wholeheartedly.
"Well then, you have an amazing body."
She paused, looking up at me with a smirk before I realized just what I had said.
"For healing, I mean." I quickly tried to recover, but ended up turning away slightly in an attempt to hide my embarrassment. "I heard about the accident..."
She nodded, understanding what I was referencing without further specification. Rose had also been in the car accident that had killed Vasilisa's entire family when they were fourteen, leaving Lissa the last of her blood line and leaving both girls without the only family either of them had really known. It was a miracle Rose was even alive when all the reports stated that she shouldn't have made it. She had narrowly missed death then, and she seemed to be flirting with danger ever since.
"Everyone said I shouldn't have survived," her voice was calm, but I could hear the slight hesitation and knew that she didn't talk about this often, "because of where I sat and the way the car hit the tree. Lissa was really the only one in a secure spot. She and I walked away with only a few scratches."
"And you don't believe in angels or miracles."
"Nope. I -"
Her words cut off, suddenly replaced with an expression that could only be described as anxious confusion.
I rushed to her side, kneeling next to her chair and placing a hand on her shoulder in attempt to gain her attention. "What's wrong?"
"Where's Lissa? Was she here?" Her eyes were focused on mine, her voice taking on the intensely protective tone that only appeared when she felt the need to defend her best friend.
"I don't know where she is. She wouldn't leave your side while I brought you in. She stayed right next to the bed, right up until the doctor came in. You calmed down when she sat next to you." I had no idea what was going on, but I tried to give her as much information as I could.
She brushed my hand from her shoulder as she stood, pacing the floor as she frantically ran her fingers through her hair. I could see her attempting to put the pieces together in some unknown puzzle and all I could do was watch, stunned silent. Suddenly, she stopped pacing and her eyes glazed over as she attempted to use the bond to find Lissa. She struggled for a moment, probably fighting some lingering effects of the medicine before she succeeded.
I doubted that I would ever get used to the unsettling sight of her when she was in Lissa's mind. Physically, she was here, but she was mentally unaware of her surroundings. I wasn't thrilled with how vulnerable it left her. It was one thing to willingly enter her mind when I was around to offer protection while she did so, but if she happened to be pulled in by Lissa's intense emotions during a fight or in some other unsecured surroundings, the consequences could be disastrous. We still had yet to find a solution to some of the more unpredictable side effects of their shared bond.
After a couple of minutes, I couldn't take it anymore. The varied emotions that played across her face while she was out of it told me nothing of the situation, but left me anxious. I tried to gently shake her out of her trance and called her name over and over. I even contemplated some more drastic means of awakening her, but quickly tossed them aside with a mental reminder that this was reality, not some movie or fairy tale.
Dr. Olendzki must have heard me, because she ran into the room and started asking questions that I didn't have the answers to. I tried to explain that it was connected to the bond rather than a side effect of her earlier fall, but that only left her more confused. It felt like hours later, but Rose eventually returned to herself.
She looked at me, scared and distraught. Her eyes flickered towards the doctor but only for a moment.
"Rose." My voice was pleading. I didn't know how to ask what had happened. I was worried about Lissa. I was worried about her. I needed her to tell me something...anything.
Finally, she spoke. Her voice was urgent, but also seemed tainted by shame. I couldn't understand why she would be ashamed, but I trusted her and knew I would do anything to help. "I know where she is. Lissa. We have to help her."