Vampire Academy: Dimitri's Point of View

Monsters and Make Believe

The next morning, I moved slowly. I felt like I was dragging behind, ten minutes late to my own life. My back was still sore from my vigil outside of Rose's door the night before, but it was nothing compared to the weight that my heart and mind felt. Everything still seemed so uncertain, and I could feel a tension in the air that promised disaster. I was helpless to do anything but meet it headfirst.
I made my way to the gym. I hadn't officially restarted our practices, but I also hadn't specifically canceled them today either. I knew Rose had been keeping up with a portion of her training on her own, and I wouldn't be surprised to find her on the track or in the weight room.
Both were empty. I didn't hold it against her. I would officially resume our extra training sessions tomorrow. I didn't have time to do a full morning workout for myself, but I did do some running and stretching in hopes of loosening the tension in my back and mind.

I had just started making my way across the quad and towards the Guardian's Lounge. I had hoped to grab some breakfast before my morning shift when I heard the distress call over another guardian's radio. He was a short distance away, but I was able to make out a few key words before he took off towards the Academic building. I was about to follow him when the full impact of the distress call hit me.
"Body found...bitten...drained..."
I altered my course to the left and ran at full speed. My mind raced even faster.
This wasn't just a random attack. In the unlikely event that a Strigoi managed to cross the wards, they would have to make their way near the center of the campus to get to the Academic building. It was hardly the most logical place to feed, especially since it would have to pass several other opportunities to find a victim. This wasn't the work of a blood thirsty beast, this was the product of someone with a plan, no matter how insane. Perhaps it was just a hunch, I could be totally wrong, but I could only think of one person who was crazy enough to attempt something like this. While Natalie may seem quiet and weak, she was also desperate. Desperation adds an unpredictable element. If I was right, I knew exactly where she would be going next with her new found power.
I was nearing the detention center when I saw a body slumped on the ground near the entrance. A guardian, no doubt. I ran to see if he was alive, regretting that I had dropped my bag with my radio in my haste and couldn't call for back up. I was about twenty yards away when another figure strode carefully out of the building. He was tall, middle-aged, and pale. He was Moroi. It took me only a heartbeat to recognize the much healthier looking Prince Victor walking through the door like a free man. I shouted at him to stop, knowing that even with his new found health, I could easily overtake him if he tried to escape further.
Instead of surrendering though, he looked pleased to see me, as if it amused him.
"Ah, Belikov," he called back casually, as if meeting a friend for coffee. "I should have expected that you would be close by. Not all bonds are formed by magic."
His words seemed fitting for the madman he was. They made no sense, at least not to anyone but himself. I continued moving towards him, and he made no effort to retreat. Only about 5 yards away now, I quickly glanced down to my colleague on the ground and noticed the shallow but consistent rise and fall of his chest. He was unconscious, but alive.
I was now only a few steps away from Victor, ready to quickly detain him, when he spoke once more to me.
"Unfortunately, I fear you may be too late this time. Such a shame. Really." He looked wistfully back towards the detention center, and at that same moment, I heard a scream.
It was the scream that halted my steps. It was desperate. It was feminine. It was familiar.
No.
In my moment of shock, Victor was already running towards the woods and his possible escape. I was faced with two options and less than a second to make my choice. I could either go after Victor, or I could find Rose. I knew what I should do...and I totally disregarded it.
I took half a moment to reach for the fallen guardian's radio before bursting through the doors and following the sounds of a ongoing battle.
"Victor has escaped his cell, heading towards the West boarder. Lost visual, backup needed."
The moment I stopped speaking, I spotted Natalie, now Strigoi, as she threw Rose violently against the wall. I tossed the radio aside and pulled my stake, taking in the scene. Rose seemed fairly weak huddled on the ground, stumbling in her struggle to get up. It was obvious that she had taken a few brutal hits to the head and was simply trying to stay conscious at that point. She was backed in to a corner, scared and with no options of escape or defense. Nothing but me.
She finally noticed my entrance with a flicker of her eyes. It was just enough to warn the fresh Strigoi of my arrival, but not enough time for her put up a fight. I easily blocked her first attack, and moved between her and Rose. It wasn't an ideal position, since it gave the Strigoi access to the exit, but keeping her away from Rose was my primary concern at the moment.
Thankfully, the new Strigoi was still in the throes of battle- and blood-lust due to her newly changed condition and was more interested in taking us down rather than seeking refuge. I used her mental state against her, allowing her one or two glancing blows to draw her near before I made my move. It was almost too easy for my stake to find it's home in her heart. She didn't even attempt to protect it.
As I pulled my weapon from her chest, she fell to the floor with a pain-filled cry. She may have been soulless, but for a moment, I felt like the monster. Just before she fell, I had seen the look of shock and fear on her face. I had seen the girl who I had sought help from just a few weeks ago. I saw the girl who desperately tried to please those around her. I saw the child who simply wanted her father's love and attention. In her final breath, she wasn't a blood thirsty killer, but a just a little girl. She was so young, younger than my little sister even, and now I had killed her. Her life, her promise of a future, was wasted.
My moment of mourning was interrupted by a sound behind me. Rose was now laying on the floor, losing her battle with consciousness. She was still breathing, but a quick check of her pulse told me that she was fading fast. As I slipped my arms under her body, I could see the steady flow of crimson liquid coming from a head wound. Not only did she have a concussion, but she was loosing blood fast. I had faced an immortal enemy just moments ago, but that was nothing compared to the terror that gripped me now.
Her eyelids fluttered as I picked her up, her lips pulling into a smile as she focused on my face. "Hey, Comrade." I had never been so happy to hear her ridiculous nickname for me, but even that couldn't lighten my panic. "You were right about Strigoi."
Despite her joking, her voice was soft and betrayed her current lack of strength. I doubt that I would have been able to hear it if she had been standing on her own two feet beside me rather than held in my arms as I ran for help. I had to keep her talking as much as I could. She needed to stay awake. If she fell asleep now, I wasn't sure she would ever wake up again. Her lashes started to droop.
"Rose. Roza. Open your eyes." My voice was strained, but it had absolutely nothing to do with me running. "Don't go to sleep on me," I begged. "Not yet."
"Was he right?"
I didn't understand what she was asking or why, but at least she was still talking. "Who?"
"Victor..."
I looked down at her, only to see her staring back at me as if she was studying me. Even in her current state, she understood me too well. I may have been doing a horrid job of hiding my worry at the moment, but she still picked up on the underlining reason behind it.
"He said it couldn't have worked. The necklace." Her voice was breaking, making her thoughts difficult to understand.
"What do you mean?"
"The spell," She clarified, using way more energy than she should need to do so. She was valiantly trying to stay with me, but I wasn't sure if it was fueled by her impending death or the desire to know the truth. "Victor said you had to want me...to care about me...for it to work."
A string of curse words ran through my mind, and I was unaware if they made it past my lips or not. He had told her. She knew that the emotions stirred that night weren't fabricated by the charmed necklace, but simply our own released unhindered. She knew I cared about her. Even worse, she knew that I had lied to her about it.
At least that is what I thought, until I felt her hand brush my shirt. Her fingers faltered, to weak to even grip the fabric. I forced myself to look at her again. Her eyes were filled with vulnerability; not because she was holding on to the last thread of life, but because she was holding on to the last thread of hope.
"Did you?" she asked, nearly breathless as she tried to speak. "Did you want me?"
We were close to the clinic now, but I still wasn't sure if she would make it. She was so weak by now. I could feel here slipping away from me. I couldn't lie to her now, not when she was so close to death.
"Yes, Roza. I did want you." My voice was thick with guilt. "I still do. I wish...I wish we could be together."
She murmured something as I pushed through the doors of the clinic, my shouts for help drowning out her words. As the sounds of hurried footsteps and voices rushed towards us, she spoke again.
"Why did you lie?"
I couldn't bear the look of heartbreak on her face, so I pulled her closer to me, pressing her against my chest as I held her. "Because we can't be together." The quiet admission felt physically painful to say aloud.
She tried to speak again, but her words were too weak. Most were lost in her struggled breathing. I could only make out two: Age. Mentor. It was enough to piece together her thoughts.
I wiped away one of the tears that had fallen down her cheek. "That's part of it. But also...well, you and I will both be Lissa's guardians someday." I said it more as a wish than a fact. There was no guarantee that she would survive the day, much less graduation. "I need to protect her at all costs. If a pack of Strigoi come, I need to throw my body between them and her."
Her eyes began to flutter, slowly closing as she began to succumb to her injuries. "I know that. Of course..." Her words drifted away as she finally slipped into unconsciousness.
I could see the medical team now. They would take her from me in just a moment. Unsure if I would ever get this chance again, I embraced her once last time, and whispered my final truth into her ear.
"If I let myself love you, I wont throw myself in front of the princess. I'd throw myself in front of you."
I wasn't sure if she heard me – she was already limp in my arms – but I hoped that saying it would be enough.
However, the moment they took her from me and wheeled her away for treatment, I felt the pang of regret. I was left alone in the hallway, uncertain if she would live or die, when I realized that there was one last truth I should have told her. Unfortunately, I had realized it too late.
It was no longer a matter of if I allowed myself to fall in love with her or not, because I already was.
I was already hopelessly in love with Rose. My Roza.

I waited near the reception area until my body couldn't stand the stillness any longer. Nobody had told me anything yet. I debated finding someone and demanding answers, but I knew that it wouldn't help her. However, I couldn't wait here any longer either. I felt like the walls were closing in around me.
I decided to take a short walk to catch my breath and clear my mind. Decision made, I stepped out the doors, only to run into Alberta. Her questions cut off my apology.
"Where is she? Is she alright? What happened? How did you find her?"
I placed my hands on her shoulder to steady her before answering. "I don't know why she was at the detention center or how she even got in, but I found her when I realized Natalie had turned and would try to free her father. Rose had already taken quite a few strikes before I dispatched Natalie. I rushed her here as quick as I could but..." words failed me and I couldn't finish the thought.
Alberta looked at me knowingly and nodded. "I'll go check up on her and try to get an update on her condition. You should get some fresh air. I'll call you as soon as I hear any news."
As we parted, I remembered something. "Did they catch Victor?"
She turned to me again. "Yes. They found him before he crossed the wards. Court guardians should be here before the end of the day take him and the others away."
I gave a weak smile in reply, grateful for the small victory amidst so much tragedy. Then I walked aimlessly around the grounds until my phone rang. Alberta let me know that Rose was awake. I rushed over as soon as I could, only to find that we weren't alone.
Several others, including Mason, Christian, and Vasilisa, surrounded her bed. She looked tired, but spoke animatedly. I didn't hear what they were talking about, because in that moment, her eyes met mine and our own conversation passed wordlessly between us.
She looked at me with gratitude, regret, and understanding. I was momentarily confused until her eyes flickered quickly towards Lissa before returning to my own. Then everything was clear. She had heard my last words to her about putting Lissa first. She agreed with me. It didn't matter what we felt, we couldn't give in to it. They come first.
I nodded, as did she, and we sealed our agreement in silence. I left the room without ever saying a word to her.

A two weeks later, I received my seventh molnija mark. Each one was painful, but not because of the tattoo needle. Every mark had a story behind it. Each story ended with a death. I had killed monsters. I had killed strangers. I had killed friends. Now, I had killed a child.
It hardly mattered to me that she was technically undead, it still felt abominable. She was too young to have her life end so abruptly.
I tried to take what little comfort I could in the fact that I had only killed to save another. If I could go back, I would kill again to save Roza. While it made the pain bearable, I still felt heavy with the weight of it. I touched the bandage at the back of my neck, as if that would somehow lighten my load. It didn't. The only thing that made me feel anything close to normal these days was seeing Rose.
We had started our practices again last week at her insistence. I wanted to wait a little longer for her to recover, but she argued that she had wasted enough time healing and needed to start training again. Despite our agreement, or perhaps because of it, I could feel the unwanted shift in our relationship. There was a new awkwardness between us, stemming from our mutual unspoken knowledge. It was hard knowing that she cared for me. It was even harder knowing that she understood my feelings as well. It was the hardest of all to know that neither of us could – or would – do anything about it.
Instead, we pretended.
We pretended that everything was normal between us. We pretended to be a student and a mentor. We pretended to not feel the familiar spark every time my skin brushed against hers. I pretended to to feel my heart skip every time I saw her. She pretended not to smile every time she saw me. I pretended to not notice the way Mason pursued her. She pretended to not notice the way I reacted every time he approached. We pretended not to speak a little more personally than we should. We pretended not to let our seemingly innocent touches during practice linger. We pretended not look at the other a little too longingly. We pretended not to hope for something that was impossible.
We pretended that everything was alright. Perhaps if we pretended long enough, it eventually would be.
Despite all our pretending, there was one thing I refused to pretend any longer.
I refused to pretend that I wasn't in love with my Roza.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Story Two will be uploaded shortly.
Please Comment and share.
And comment you're opinion xx
Thanks Liam... 💋